Caught in the Seasons

Long nights. Open-toed sandals. Frozen drinks. Cookouts. Get-togethers. Beach time. Road trips.

If you're anything like me, you love the flow and the beauty of the summer season.  Flowers in full bloom. Tropical fruit ripe for picking!
Yet, living a decade in the northeast, I'm over the snowstorms and other winter weather. Snow looks nice long as I'm on the inside of the window.

But one beautiful tree in my local park helped me find a deeper appreciation for the cold season. I sat in the summer under this majestic tree. All the wrinkles on the trunk make it look like a woman.

Her flowers in full bloom. Families eat and get shade under her. She in turn lays us the royal "Coming To America" treatment, spreading petals everywhere for us to walk like royalty.

But then I remember seeing her in fall,  when branches came down with the petals. No one traveled the park except the die hard athletes,  running laps.  Their focus was staying fit, so they overlooked the beautiful tree.

Then the air got crisper and colder; fewer athletes come up to the tree,  cautious about black ice and broken ankles. Our same beautiful tree stands naked in the park. Fallen flowers and branches leave her trunk fully exposed.

No matter what,  her trunk stays rooted and she matter-of-factly weathers the cold.

After the chill of the winter season, she will grow new branches and expose new blooms. Without fail, all will come to appreciate her beauty in the spring and enjoy her shade in the summer.

This had me wondering about my blooms and whether I was appreciated. I realized that many will come to admire the newness of my beautiful life. All will sit in the shade of my harvest. It will be rare for anyone to appreciate my natural beauty,  while I withstand the cold, the storms, and the solitude of growth.

Every new season, the flowers I bloom live off the strength of my roots. My fullest beauty is the roots planted and supporting me.

Trust your seasons. Get rooted. Be fruitful.

Kenya Pope is an Abundant Success Strategist for amazing women entrepreneurs. Her most important assignment is serving other phenomenal women to do the same—and more. As a spiritually aligned business guide, she blogs about Magic, Manifestation, and Majesty in creating a life based on what she calls “unworking.” She shares tools you can use to clear your energetic field and finally shift from voicelessness to divine power. Her latest publication, “From Lessness to Abundance: Lessons On How to Reclaim Your Seat on The Throne of Abundance” is now available on pre-order at www.lessnesstoabundance.com. Ask for your special gift with each pre-order.

For more information about her Goddess Builder™ brand business coaching, visit www.goddessbuilder.com or send an inquiry to goddess@kenyapope.com.

10 Strategies Resilient People Use To Bounce Back When Life Knocks Them Down

*As originally seen on www.lifehack.org
BY KATHRYN SANDFORD

“People who soar are those who refuse to sit back, sigh and wish things would change. They neither complain of their lot nor passively dream of some distant ship coming in. Rather, they visualize in their minds that they are not quitters, they will not allow life’s circumstances to push them down and hold them under” Charles Swindoll

The word Resilience has its origin in the Latin word “resilíre,” which means, “to leap back” or as I like to say, “bounce back”. Resilience helps to make the uncertain things in our lives certain. Knowing how to “bounce back” from adversity and life challenges is something that all of us are able to do – we just need to know HOW.

Resilience enables you to live a life that is based on choice rather than being at the mercy of chance or habit. It also enables you to manage adversity and “bounce back” when life has shot you down.

When you are living a resilient life, you are living a fulfilled life, where you know who you are and you know what is important to you. You have a plan as to where you are going and you know where you should be investing your time and energy.

For you to lead a resilient life you have to overcome the pain, the adversity and the unpredictable challenges that life throws at you. It is not an easy journey, but then again, life was not meant to be easy.

The good news is that resilience is a process of thoughts and actions that can be learned. Although we can not control the challenging events in our lives, resilience can give us the strength to control our responses to these events.

Resilience Is A Life Story

Resilience is intangible, as you can’t touch it, but you can see and feel it. Resilience is a person’s life story and to truly understand and feel resilience at work, you need listen to resilient people’s stories. While you are listening to their stories, you will hear them talk about how they used various strategies to overcome the adversity and challenges in their life.

There are the 10 strategies that resilient people commonly use to manage adversity and to “bounce back” when life has knocked them down. By using these 10 strategies and listening to the stories of resilient individuals, you will be shown HOW you can live a resilient and fulfilled life.

1. Laughter Positivity And Hope

“I like nonsense, it wakes up the brain cells. Fantasy is a necessary ingredient in living, it’s a way of looking at life through the wrong end of a telescope. Which is what I do, and that enables you to laugh at life’s realities.” Dr Seuss

Resilient people live meaningful lives. They love to laugh and have a positive and hopeful attitude of life. Resilient people don’t take themselves too seriously and they have a sense of humour about the challenges of life.

For resilient people, happiness comes because they believe in who they are, they know what they are doing, and they love what they do.

Resilient people are optimistic and believe in their own strength and ability to overcome any problems. In a crisis, a resilient person will be positive, open and willing to find the solution. They will not be dwelling on the problem but looking forward to the future solutions that should be considered.

Laughter, positivity and hope are important strategies to use when you want to build resilience in your life.

2. Accepting And Anticipating Change On A Daily Basis

“it is not the most intellectual of the species that survives; it is not the strongest that survives; but the species that survives is the one that is able best to adapt and adjust to the changing environment in which it finds itself.”  Dr Leon C. Megginson

In todays world of constant change it is hard to hold on to who you are and manage the complexity and unpredictability of life. The one constant thing in our lives today is change.

Resilience is a quality that enables you to survive and thrive in a world of constant change. Resilient people are always ready for the unpredictable events in their lives. To them change is part of the daily routine of life. It is expected, and in fact, those who are most resilient embrace the opportunities that change brings.

3. Embracing The Power Of Choice

“Today I choose life. Every morning when I wake up I can choose joy, happiness, negativity, pain… To feel the freedom that comes from being able to continue to make mistakes and choices – today I choose to feel life, not to deny my humanity but embrace it.” Kevyn Aucion

Resilient people are comfortable with using the power of choice. They understand the value of the power of choice when dealing with tough decisions or confronting challenging situations. Using the power of choice empowers and strengthens their ability to take action and to make decisions.

They know that they are not responsible for the challenging events in their lives. They also know they are in control of their responses to these events. By embracing the power of choice, resilient people are able to maintain perspective and manage the flow of emotions that they are dealing with in the present moment.

Resilient people are not afraid to to acknowledge their negative feelings, emotions and fears. Instead, they choose not to let these negative fears and emotions take control and immobilize them.

4. Asking For Help

“Asking for help does not mean that we are weak or incompetent. It usually indicates an advanced level of honesty and intelligence.”  Anne Wilson Schaef

Asking for help is not a sign of weakness to a resilient person. Resilient people seek support, advice and encouragement from others when times are tough.

They value the input of others, along with the wisdom and energy to overcome the adversity or solve the problems they are facing. Resilient people do not work or live in isolation. They enjoy belonging to a community and have a very collaborative approach when it comes to decision making and problem solving.

5. Being Self Aware And Connected

Resilient people practice the concept of mindfulness. They pay attention to where they are in the present moment. They are connected to what is important to them in their lives – family and friends. They know who they are and what they stand for.

They are self-aware and are able to monitor the thoughts that flow through them. This allows them to be able to tolerate ambiguity and hold opposing thoughts in their minds at the same time. Instead of reacting to their negative thoughts they will observe these thoughts and then let them pass through like a storm.

Their values and their purpose in life are the foundations from which they lead their lives. Any decision they need to make or any problem they need to solve will be aligned to their beliefs and values.

6. Living to Learn

“By three methods we may learn wisdom: First, by reflection, which is noblest; Second, by imitation, which is easiest; and third by experience, which is the bitterest.” Confucius

Resilient people learn to take charge of their thinking and emotions in order to become resilient. They know that to live a resilient life they must continuously develop and strengthen their skills and abilities to remain strong.

They are survivors and when faced with adversity will ask themselves, “How can I survive this and what do I need to do to overcome this obstacle?” They know their strengths and their vulnerabilities and they are solution-focused thinkers.

They will always look for ways in which they can source the best solution for the problem or challenges they need to overcome. Resilient people are inquisitive, curious and questioning – always seeking information or new knowledge that will help them to be a better and stronger person.

They acquire new skills and knowledge through life experience, observation, reflection and from the wisdom of others. They believe in the journey of continuous self-improvement and see life challenges and adversity as an opportunity to learn.

Resilient people also understand that to live a resilient life one has to experience life – the good, the bad and the ugly.

7. Valuing The Importance of Health & Well-Being

“Intelligence comes into being when…the mind, the heart and the body are really harmonious” J Krishnamurti

The energy source of resilience comes from the physical and mental strength of a person. A resilient person understands the importance of being physically, emotionally and mentally fit. They understand the importance of consistently following daily healthy habits  that nurture and strength their health and well-being. Resilient people look after themselves and value the gift of having a healthy and emotionally strong body and mind.

They value the positive energy they get by surrounding themselves with like-minded people. This positive energy builds and maintains their emotional, physical and mental well-being. Resilient people have healthy and strong relationships which they value and nurture.

8. Practicing Appreciation & Gratitude

People who live a resilient life know that it is not a one-way ticket and that life is not all about them. It is about how they can help and support other people in their lives. They have an deep awareness of people and how they feel. They actively practice gratitude and will always acknowledge their appreciation of others. Resilient people like to serve others and develop supportive and caring relationships.

This strategy of  practicing appreciation and gratitude strengthens the emotional resilience in people. Resilient people are grateful and appreciate all the good things they have in their life. When adversity strikes, resilient people are able to keep perspective because they are emotionally resilient.

9. Embrace Failure and Disappointment

“Character cannot be developed in ease and quiet. Only through experience of trial and suffering can the soul be strengthened, ambition inspired and success achieved” Helen Keller

Resilient people have the mindset of a survivor and not a victim. They expect to make mistakes, to fail, and to be disappointed. They know that to be strong, one has to overcome adversity and failure.

They embrace life learning experiences such as failure and disappointment because it enables them to grow and become a better person.

Resilient people do not seek validation from others to determine their success. They define their success in their own terms.

To help them define their key learnings and how they can move forward in their lives, resilient people will ask these three questions:

1. What went well?

2. What didn’t go so well?

3. What can I do better next time?

Those who are resilient do not typically have a fear of failure and they understand the importance of how they respond to their failures. Resilient people choose to respond to failure by “bouncing back” and starting again.

10. Be Adaptable, Flexible and Flow

“Be like water making its way through cracks. Do not be assertive, but adjust to the object, and you shall find a way ’round or through it. If nothing within you stays rigid, outward things will disclose themselves”   Bruce Lee

Resilient people understand that life is not static – it is unpredictable and challenging. Adaptability, flexibility and flow are key strengths that enable resilient people to manage the unpredictability of life. These three strengths are also essential for all the other nine resilient strategies that resilient people use to “bounce back” from the challenges of life.

Adaptability, flexibility and flow give resilient people the capacity to cope internally with the complexity of life and the range of positive and negative emotions they will experience in their lives.

If you want to live a resilient life, it is a tough journey because to be resilient you have to experience personal setbacks. This is undoubtedly scary, and for many of us, we choose not to embrace resilience and our life languishes. Resilient people know the huge effort and energy it takes to be able to “bounce back” from the challenges of life.

They use these 10 strategies to build their strength and capacity to lead a resilient life. They choose to embrace the unpredictability of life, the pain and the adversity because they know that the rewards they gain from choosing a resilient life are priceless. It is easy to take these strategies and want to follow them to lead a resilient life, but to actually follow them and live by them is a feat all on its own.

Kathryn Sandford is a writer, speaker and coach on reinvention and change. To thank her followers on Life Hack for a LIMITED TIME Kathryn is giving away her ebook Practical Ways To Live A Life You Love for FREE CLICK HERE to get it instantly.

Reinvent Your Life! 10 Undeniable Ways to Boost Your Confidence & Find Your Authentic Voice!

For many years I shrunk my greatness to make others feel comfortable. During the entire process, I did not realize I was rejecting my true authentic voice and being. See, I tried to conform into who the world said I should be rather than how God created me to be.  During this time of conforming, I lost a sense of self, I compared myself to others, I put way too much attention on my outward appearance, all the while ignoring the inner healing and nurturing I desperately needed.

The crazy thing is, I walked around, thinking I was cute and accomplished, having no clue. I did not know who I really was because over the years I gave away my power and position for other people to manage.

This finally came full circle in 2009 when a guy I was dating, asked me to meet his mother.  I was so excited!  He had the bomb resume from a great career, new luxurious vehicle that he purchased in cash, he was financially stable, and of course, he was good looking; all the essentials, or so I thought.  You could not tell me I did not hit the jackpot with this one!  

I started to get ready by picking out my outfit, spending hours fixing my hair, ironing, ensuring I had my Brown Sugar body lotion and my DKNY Delicious Apple perfume, then I put on my MAC makeup and finally I was ready to go.

I pulled up to his house, he greeted me at the door, let me in and introduced me to his mother.  She asked me what fragrance I was wearing because she loved it! Of course, I told her.  At that time, I was operating in my introvert personality, so I was not very talkative.  So we exchanged a few words but not much was discussed that evening.  After spending a few hours with him and his mother, I headed home before it got too late. I left thinking I really made a good impression.

When I talked to him later that week, I discovered that his mom thought I was sweet and beautiful.  When I heard this, I was extremely disappointed that "sweet" was the only thing his mom could find to say about me.  I wanted to be known as smart, having a good head on my shoulder; being “wifey-material”;  having the potential to be a good mother one day; a woman who was passionate about youth; women and family; a child of God; authentic; loving; a multiplier; a leader etc.  I wanted to be much more than a sweet and beautiful southern girl. 

At that moment, sitting on my bed after ending the conversation, it suddenly hit me like a ton of bricks! I received a good return on my investment.  I invested all my time preparing my outward appearance, making sure I looked good and in return praise on my outward appearance was what I received.  

See, I lacked self-awareness, I felt beautiful on the outside, but I was self-conscious about how my behavior and communication came off to other people.  To make matters worse, I wasn’t even aware of how I had been showing up in the world until this point in my life when I received this feedback that was not at all what I expected.  Needless to say, my relationship with this guy ended shortly thereafter. His last words to me were “take care”.  And indeed I did, after that point, I started to discover my self-worth and I found my authentic voice which resulted in me being more confident in all areas of my life.

Before you can be confident, you have to know your self-worth and love yourself unconditionally; you have to first be aware of who you are. How are you showing up in the world? 

The next major milestone is to accept who you are from your behavior, communication, your appearances and your past experiences. See you set the standard for how the world treats you. If you don’t accept who you are, why would anyone else?
Detach your value from how you look, what you say, what you do, your marital status, your followers or what someone else is doing on your job or in their business. You are valued because you are a precious soul who loves, who cares and who was custom made for a specific purpose.  It is not about what you do, it is all about who you are and how much you like yourself!  

There are 10 Undeniable Things You Must Do to move forward to reinventing yourself to become the Version of Yourself, boost your confidence, self-worth and find your true authentic voice.

1.)    Know thy Self!

The First thing is to know yourself.  If you want to elevate your self–worth, you have to love yourself. You cannot love yourself if you haven’t taken the time to get to know who you really are.  In a society, where there is so much pressure to fall into certain categories whether that is: body size, hair texture, education or race; you can lose a sense of self.  Take time to write out your core values and beliefs, write out your strengths and weaknesses, and write out your most favorable physical features and your less favorable features.  Then I dare you to make a decision to accept and love your self-unconditionally.  Once you do that, you put other people on notice that they must take you as you are or not at all!

2.)    To Thy Own Self Be True!

Once you identify what your core values and beliefs are, stay true to who you are!  There will be times where you feel the pressure to go against what feels natural to you or what that inner voice is whispering to you against your better judgment.  But don’t you dare!  The moment you do, is the moment you betray yourself the person that loves you the most, YOU; for the approval of someone who may not even be around six months from now.

3.)    Free Yourself From the Opinions of Others!

People are always going to have something to say.  Make a declaration that other people’s opinion of you is really none of your business; it is their business, their problem!  Do right by you! Everyone else will either have to accept it or reject it and you just have to be okay either way.

4.)    Accept Yourself Completely, Flaws and All!

Reflect on the things you don’t like about yourself and make a decision to embrace that as your uniqueness.  I struggled with accepting my nose.  People teased me growing up by saying I looked like Gonzo (from Sesame Street) and that I had a neck like a giraffe.  In addition, I hated my middle name, but I made a choice that I would find something to love about all of these things and you can too!  Let your difference define your uniqueness! 

5.)    Let-go of Past Guilt and Shame. You are Forgiven!

Past failures and shortcomings, if not released and freed can keep you in a place of guilt and shame.  Everyone has a past and we all have done something that we are not so proud to admit. What I have learned is some of the most prosperous ministries and businesses where birthed from these same incidents that we hide, deny and keep ourselves.  Think of Sarah Jakes Roberts who shared the one thing she was most ashamed of, having a child at the age of 13 years old and now she shares her mistakes to teach the message of God’s grace.  The first step is to forgive yourself, then confess that you messed up, and make sure that it is not from a place of embarrassment, but from a place of an overcomer.  Perhaps your mess will be your message or maybe it was just a trial to make you a better woman, mother, wife, or friend.  Every experience you have is equipping you for a destined future.

6.)    Time Out on Waiting for Someone Else to Validate You, Validate Yourself!

You are perfectly you!  You are smart enough, you are beautiful enough, you have the ability to communicate, you have the ability to speak and do everything that is required for you to accomplish the mission you have been called to complete.  No one is going to crown you as queen and say, yes you are worthy to wear your crown.  You don’t have to wait for someone to give you the crown and throne.  It is your birthright!  So claim it!

7.)    Learn to Give Yourself a Break!

Oftentimes we can be our own biggest critics.  Listen, you are going to make mistakes and fall short.  Some level of failed attempts are a pre-requisite for success.  Understand that it is just what is required to get you from your dream to your destiny.  So give yourself a break.  If you mess up, get back up and try again.  You just learned another way that doesn’t work! Don’t be so hard on yourself.  Sometimes just say to yourself that is okay, I will get it the next time! Pick-up and go back even harder giving 110% of yourself to your dream.

8.)     Stop Focusing on Perfection and Shift to Planning and Preparation!

You may be a perfectionist and I get it.  There is nothing wrong with wanting things to be neat and in order.  The challenge is taking the time in advance to properly plan out what is required in terms of resources time, money and energy to get something accomplished.  Although you may be the responsible person, you don’t need to do everything yourself.  Get some help even if it is hiring a virtual assistance, housekeeper, a life or business coach.  Use preparation to boost your readiness and your confidence!

9.)    Take Care of You First! Mind, Body, Spirit!

It is just like being on a plane and the flight attendants tells you to make sure you secure your own oxygen mask before trying to assist others; be it little children or an elderly adult.  The pilot as well as the attendants, understand that if you don’t put on your oxygen mask first, you may die and then a helpless child won’t be able to figure out how to put on their oxygen mask. Make sure you are receiving sufficient oxygen (food, water, exercise, rest etc.) so that you can make sure that others (your kids, your husband, co-workers, your elderly parents) will get what they need. Talk through life issues, invest in yourself by getting the necessary books or programs so you can live smarter and not harder. Stay connected to your Creator by praying, worshipping, and reading daily.

10.) Trust Yourself, Your Heart Knows the Answer!

Sometimes you will have to turn down the outside noise, so you can hear your own voice.  No one knows you better than you! Avoid the temptation of always seeking the opinion of others for personal decisions. There is a place to seek wise counsel when facing major life decisions like buying a house, who you will marry or making a business decision.  But most times, you just need to follow your gut instinct and trust your heart knows the answer. 

I challenge you to first get to know yourself and then make 21 declarations about how fabulous you are and read these declarations every day for the next 21 days.  You will walk away more confident, more whole, more attractive, more loveable, more balanced, more poise and more powerful in your relationship and in the space you occupy.

HWHNHWHNHWHNHWHNHWHNHWHNHWHNHWHNHWHNHWHNHWHNHWHNH

Jill Bulluck is a life and relationship expert that helps women become the best version of themselves by reinventing their identity and showing up as their true authentic self.  She is also the founder of Detour Movement Inc., a mission based organization for young girls and women to establish and maintain healthy relationship with God, themselves and others.  Jill prepares and positions professional single women to make the right choice in their dating relationships.  As a result of the work she does, women break free from unhealthy relationships, establish and maintains healthy happy love, gain confidence and boldness to attract and keep healthy happy relationships that leads to marriage.

Jill is the host of the Fabulous I Am Conference which gathers over 100 women each year to release, restore, and renew their mind, body and spirit so they can transform their life. Jill is the future best-selling author of Be the Best Version of You Dispelling the Lies and Uncovering the Truth of a Fabulous You! Jill has developed coaching programs, presentations, workbooks, and events to empower youth and women to achieve personal, spiritual and relationship goals.  She is trained in conflict resolution and a certified mentor/mentee coach.

Walk In Your Own Heels!

Hello my sisters! 

It is officially summer. After the winter we just endured I will dare not complain on these hot days, even though it is tempting. One of the things I am observing the most is the conversations of women discussing their “summer bodies” and doing much comparing. At this time of year it is not uncommon to hear women not only comparing themselves to each other, but also to their former selves. I’m not sure that as women we understand how truly detrimental it is to our self-esteem and self-image to constantly compare ourselves to others. We must evolve to a place where we celebrate our own uniqueness and love the skin that we are in. Instead of trading places with women who appear to have everything we think we want, we must be confident enough to WALK IN OUR OWN HEELS!

In our conversations, as innocent as they seem, where we constantly compare ourselves to others and secretly desire to trade places with them; we are really truly harboring discontentment in our hearts. Discontentment eats away at our peace. It is hard to have peace when we are not content and satisfied with who and where we are. My sincere desire for all of you amazing women of God is to see you not only love God but also love yourselves, His workmanship. When you truly achieve healthy self-love and esteem you no longer desire to be anyone else or walk in their shoes. Instead you enjoy WALKING IN YOUR OWN HEELS.

You are God’s masterpiece! This passage lets us know that God has handcrafted us and we are his marvelous works. Think about it. We are always singing and exclaiming that He does all things well. Do we truly process the fact that we are included in that? We offer Him praise when we honor and appreciate His handiwork. You my sister are his marvelous handiwork! If you desire to be anything else you express to God that what He created wasn’t good enough; and we know everything He does is spectacular.

There is no else like you! Have you really thought about that? For the billions of people that have and will ever live there is not one like you. There is something unique and special you bring to the earth that not one soul can bring but you. When we spend time in the presence of God to discover what it is that makes us unique our self-esteem and self-love automatically increase. There is nothing as fulfilling as discovering what God gave you that He didn’t give anyone else. Once you discover your unique factor, you can continue to enhance your esteem and self-love by cultivating that skill/ability and sharpening what you have. Just like any other type of investment you will find that the more you invest in yourself the more value you will feel.

Your uniqueness will lead you to your purpose! The gifts and abilities that God has given you are a direct indicator to your purpose. Do you want to know why you are here and what you were created to do? Once you spend time in the presence of God and He reveals what makes you unique and your gifts you will find they will lead you right to what He has created you to do. Once you step into that purpose space that was personally designed just for you, you will never again feel the temptation to compare yourself to another sister or even desire to be her because you will be creating a life that you love!

I heard a singer recently say in their song, “I was losing at being you but I’m winning at being me.” That line really got stuck in my head. It is such a strong statement. When we attempt to be like other people we will always be mere copy. But why would we settle for a copy when we are already an original masterpiece of our own. No one can be you like you can so don’t leave that spot unclaimed. 

Enjoy being you my sister. The only person we should compare ourselves to is the person in the mirror and constantly making her better. Don’t desire to be anyone else. Walk confidently in your own heels!

Tiffany Bethea is an Author, Speaker, Mompreneur and founder of Lifestyle Brand She-EO Life. As a licensed minister and marketing consultant she combines personal development and business development to help women leaders master total life harmony and create lucrative business results. She-EO Life = Spirit, Soul, Body and Business Wellness.

www.tiffanybethea.com

@TiffanyLBethea

Tiffany Bethea

Author| Speaker| Mompreneur

How Do You L.E.A.D?

How Do You L.E.A.D?

We hear about leadership everyday. whether you are on the job, in the home or out in your community, the topic of leadership is around us and relevant. But what does it mean? I remember my elementary school days of being hard pressed to be the line leader. I loved knowing I was at the front of the line. I was the chosen one to be first. I also know the exhilaration of sitting in the front seat on the best roller coasters. I want to be the first to see what's up ahead and feel that rush!  

No matter your position in life, you are created to lead. It's innate. The degree of leadership and position will vary, but the ability and skills of leadership are relevant in each of us everyday. So how do you lead? How do you choose to think? Act? Live? As I thought about what leadership means to me, I decided that to lead means to Live Everyday As Destiny. I am here. I have a purpose. I was given this life, so it's up to me to determine how I use it. And the same goes for you. You are a born leader. You have the right to be you unapologetically, but are you? If not, what are you willing to do to make the necessary shift into greatness? As you continue to develop your own definition of who you are as a leader, I want to share with you some tips for your journey. 

 1. Do what's necessary- Yes, I know. Writing a business plan, vacuuming, making that cold call, walking by faith.. they are all things that probably don't tickle your pickle, but you know they are necessary for your growth and power. Take the time to create a plan and a schedule to get through the difficult stuff. Take a class, find strong accountability partners and maybe even put a reward system in place for yourself to get the tough stuff done. As you build the muscle, in may not increase your desire to do, but it will increase your ability.

2.  Live within your means- We know we're created for more and we see our future selves in all of our glory. We know we need to dress, talk, speak and act as if we are already where we want to be, but let's keep 10% of ourselves in the present! More often I hear of women who are stressed and overwhelmed because they are "tapped out" or "don't have the means" to do whatever it is that they desire.  I'm here to tell you that you have the power to change that! Refer back to tip #1 and do what's necessary. That normally means making a sacrifice. We often get stuck and complacent because we are not willing to make that radical sacrifice to get to the next level. Maximize your means! You have friends, family, contacts, relationships and resources around you everyday that can donate, loan, support, suggest and guide you to where you need to be. Utilize those resources and manage your funds wisely. Make a sacrificial cut now to create a long term abundance later. You are destined to have money in your bank account, so leave it there!

3. Designate and Delegate . In order to do step #2, I encourage you to find your people and use them. Get comfortable with asking for what you need. People really do want to help, but they do not have your vision. You have to share it with them and let them know how to support you.

4. Don't try. Do. "I tried and it didn't work." "I give up." "That's not for me." Well, do it again. You know it's for you, you're just disappointed. That's ok. disappointment is part of the process too, but you must keep going. If you've "tried" it, that means you've done it. You just want to adjust and do it again to get better and better. Stay committed to the vision. If you're destined for it, it will work.

5. Live! Life is happening everyday. You have the opportunity to choose. Let go of your fears, inhibitions and childhood teachings that no longer suit you. This is your life and your opportunity to shine like only you can.  You are here to show up in the greatness that only has your name on it. Own it!! Let the world know why you are hearing. We are waiting for you.

The only way you can be the person you were created to be is to L.E.A.D.!

 

Kristin M. Young, “The Marriage Enthusiast” is a proud supporter and staff member of Heal a Woman to Heal a Nation, Inc. She is committed to supporting women in their journey to wholeness as individuals and in their marriages. 

How to Get to Happy

True Joy

By Valorie Burton

Valorie Burton encourages you to discover what lifts your spirit so you can create happiness every day. Find your own motivations for free at happywomantest.com, which lists 13 triggers Burton explores in her book Happy Women Live Better. Here she outlines a few of the big ones:

Anticipation: Every day I make sure I have something to look forward to. Whether having dinner with a friend or curling up with a good novel, we need to be intentional about creating activities we enjoy. This one habit can instantly boost your happiness.

Service: Do at least one thing daily to brighten someone else's day. This requires you to take the focus off yourself and put the spotlight on another. Whether you volunteer for a nonprofit or stop by to visit that friend who's going through a tough time, help somebody.

Financial savvy: It won't happen overnight, but aim to live on 75 percent (or less) of your income. People who live below their means are happier. And buy experiences instead of things—a vacation, a class to learn something new; it will make you happier than another pair of shoes.

Gratitude: At the end of the day, ask, "What were the three best things about today?" Write them down. Studies show that doing so for just three weeks will improve your mood and strengthen your immune system.

Play: Guys are great at playing basketball, golf and video games. We women need to give ourselves permission to play and be silly. Go outside for a game of catch with the kids or have friends over for a night of charades. Play increases creativity and reduces stress.

Relaxation: This trigger tends to be least used by women who have taken my happiness test. Let go of guilt, stop worrying, and give yourself permission to take a catnap, a break, a vacation! Doing nothing rejuvenates the soul.

Movement: Exercise is a happiness trigger. Just 20 minutes of cardio per day can lift your mood for up to 24 hours, according to research. Make it fun. Take a class, go for a walk with your honey, or turn on your favorite music and dance in the living room.

***Originally published at www.essence.com