Walk In Your Own Heels!

Hello my sisters! 

It is officially summer. After the winter we just endured I will dare not complain on these hot days, even though it is tempting. One of the things I am observing the most is the conversations of women discussing their “summer bodies” and doing much comparing. At this time of year it is not uncommon to hear women not only comparing themselves to each other, but also to their former selves. I’m not sure that as women we understand how truly detrimental it is to our self-esteem and self-image to constantly compare ourselves to others. We must evolve to a place where we celebrate our own uniqueness and love the skin that we are in. Instead of trading places with women who appear to have everything we think we want, we must be confident enough to WALK IN OUR OWN HEELS!

In our conversations, as innocent as they seem, where we constantly compare ourselves to others and secretly desire to trade places with them; we are really truly harboring discontentment in our hearts. Discontentment eats away at our peace. It is hard to have peace when we are not content and satisfied with who and where we are. My sincere desire for all of you amazing women of God is to see you not only love God but also love yourselves, His workmanship. When you truly achieve healthy self-love and esteem you no longer desire to be anyone else or walk in their shoes. Instead you enjoy WALKING IN YOUR OWN HEELS.

You are God’s masterpiece! This passage lets us know that God has handcrafted us and we are his marvelous works. Think about it. We are always singing and exclaiming that He does all things well. Do we truly process the fact that we are included in that? We offer Him praise when we honor and appreciate His handiwork. You my sister are his marvelous handiwork! If you desire to be anything else you express to God that what He created wasn’t good enough; and we know everything He does is spectacular.

There is no else like you! Have you really thought about that? For the billions of people that have and will ever live there is not one like you. There is something unique and special you bring to the earth that not one soul can bring but you. When we spend time in the presence of God to discover what it is that makes us unique our self-esteem and self-love automatically increase. There is nothing as fulfilling as discovering what God gave you that He didn’t give anyone else. Once you discover your unique factor, you can continue to enhance your esteem and self-love by cultivating that skill/ability and sharpening what you have. Just like any other type of investment you will find that the more you invest in yourself the more value you will feel.

Your uniqueness will lead you to your purpose! The gifts and abilities that God has given you are a direct indicator to your purpose. Do you want to know why you are here and what you were created to do? Once you spend time in the presence of God and He reveals what makes you unique and your gifts you will find they will lead you right to what He has created you to do. Once you step into that purpose space that was personally designed just for you, you will never again feel the temptation to compare yourself to another sister or even desire to be her because you will be creating a life that you love!

I heard a singer recently say in their song, “I was losing at being you but I’m winning at being me.” That line really got stuck in my head. It is such a strong statement. When we attempt to be like other people we will always be mere copy. But why would we settle for a copy when we are already an original masterpiece of our own. No one can be you like you can so don’t leave that spot unclaimed. 

Enjoy being you my sister. The only person we should compare ourselves to is the person in the mirror and constantly making her better. Don’t desire to be anyone else. Walk confidently in your own heels!

Tiffany Bethea is an Author, Speaker, Mompreneur and founder of Lifestyle Brand She-EO Life. As a licensed minister and marketing consultant she combines personal development and business development to help women leaders master total life harmony and create lucrative business results. She-EO Life = Spirit, Soul, Body and Business Wellness.

www.tiffanybethea.com

@TiffanyLBethea

Tiffany Bethea

Author| Speaker| Mompreneur

7 Courageous Actions to Maximize the Queen in You

WOW!!




We are in the middle of an awesome 2-day tele-summit entitled, "Because I am a Queen" and it is pure awesomeness! Where else can you go as a woman to have every area of your life supported and celebrated and to TRULY get what you need? Heal a Woman to Heal a Nation!!


This tele-summit is for you to come and seek the answers for your next steps in your greatness. Because I Am a Queen offers practical steps and insights for those specific questions you need to ask yourself to become the confident queen you were created to be.


As I listened to all of the powerful information and saw all of the beautiful honesty, truths, and "Aha" moments posted in the Facebook group, I knew that this is definitely a training I will keep in my self development library as a refresher. We all have those moments when we question ourselves and wonder "Why I am doing this?" "Is it really worth it?" "Am I really equipped to do this?" This telesummit addressed how to handle yourself in those moments and to push past all of the negative people and thoughts that come your way. I am going to give you 7 of the Courageous Action Steps that I am holding onto from the first night of the call.  

1) Who are you? Of course you know your name, where you live, your parents, your occupation, etc,etc, but who ARE you? Do you know the essence of your being? Do you know the specific, individual, quirky, unique, amazing things about you that make you you? Do you know what makes you stand out and most importantly, do you own it? 


2) Why are you here? Once you know who you are, you can get clear about what you were created to do. We are each birthed into the world to solve a problem. You are on purpose.

 3) What’s holding you back? Ok, so you know who you are and why you are here, but you haven't taken action. Why? Because momma said it's not realistic? Your boyfriend said it's going to take too much time? Has your husband told you maybe later when you can fit it in the budget? Or maybe you told yourself you wouldn't be a good mother if you pursue it. Whatever "IT" is, recognize it and put some positivity on it. Positivity breeds progression. Allow yourself to honor your commit to your Creator by making a way to do what you are called to do.

4) 2There are 2 mindsets- Fixed and Growth- When you make the commit to move forward in your purpose, know that THAT is the moment when the work begins and it starts in the mind. It's ok. We all have to train those brain muscles to think about something other than math and history. You have to work the "I Can" brain muscle. We often fall into routines of living within boundaries that are set by others. sometimes we set our own unnecessary boundaries based off of what we see in other people. That "fixed" mindset says, "I can't. It won't work. That's not realistic." As we work that brain muscle and challenge it, we can create the "Growth" mindset that says, "I can. I will find a way to make it work because it is realistic." Have the growth mindset to realize there is more and go get it. And remember to build a community around you who support your "Growth mindset."

5) Get clear about what you want. This world is full of opportunity and options. It is completely true that everything is not for everybody. So what is for you? What are those desires of your heart? What motivates you? What keeps you going? Just as you are clear about your purpose and why you are here, get clear about what you want that will keep you here. Those things that bring joy and value to your life, those relationships, that lifestyle, that dream fulfilled, get clear about them and stay focused on them. Remind yourself of your goals, your dreams and your WHY. Great things come your way when you ask for what you want and what you need.  

6) Lift as you climb- I absolutely love this! As you grow, so does your community. The support system around you will get the trickle down of your efforts. There is room for everyone at the top, BUT, they must be willing. Don't be afraid to reach back and pull others up along with you. Know that someone is always waiting for you, and most of them you have never met. 

7) Don’t ask for permission. Give notice. BOOM!!! It doesn't get much realer than that! Stop waiting for someone else to say it's ok to live your purpose. Stop asking if someone will help and simply tell them how they can help. This is your life and your vision. No one else will ever do this thing like you so do it up and play full out!! 

I am so excited about what is in store for Part II of Because I Am a Queen. If you missed it, last night, do yourself a favor and make it a priority to join us tonight, July 22, 2015 at 9p EST. Register at www.hwhn.org and step into your royalty.


You are worth it.!


Kristin M. Young, “The Marriage Enthusiast” is a proud supporter and staff member of Heal a Woman to Heal a Nation, Inc. She is committed to supporting women in their journey to wholeness as individuals and in their marriages. 

How Do You L.E.A.D?

How Do You L.E.A.D?

We hear about leadership everyday. whether you are on the job, in the home or out in your community, the topic of leadership is around us and relevant. But what does it mean? I remember my elementary school days of being hard pressed to be the line leader. I loved knowing I was at the front of the line. I was the chosen one to be first. I also know the exhilaration of sitting in the front seat on the best roller coasters. I want to be the first to see what's up ahead and feel that rush!  

No matter your position in life, you are created to lead. It's innate. The degree of leadership and position will vary, but the ability and skills of leadership are relevant in each of us everyday. So how do you lead? How do you choose to think? Act? Live? As I thought about what leadership means to me, I decided that to lead means to Live Everyday As Destiny. I am here. I have a purpose. I was given this life, so it's up to me to determine how I use it. And the same goes for you. You are a born leader. You have the right to be you unapologetically, but are you? If not, what are you willing to do to make the necessary shift into greatness? As you continue to develop your own definition of who you are as a leader, I want to share with you some tips for your journey. 

 1. Do what's necessary- Yes, I know. Writing a business plan, vacuuming, making that cold call, walking by faith.. they are all things that probably don't tickle your pickle, but you know they are necessary for your growth and power. Take the time to create a plan and a schedule to get through the difficult stuff. Take a class, find strong accountability partners and maybe even put a reward system in place for yourself to get the tough stuff done. As you build the muscle, in may not increase your desire to do, but it will increase your ability.

2.  Live within your means- We know we're created for more and we see our future selves in all of our glory. We know we need to dress, talk, speak and act as if we are already where we want to be, but let's keep 10% of ourselves in the present! More often I hear of women who are stressed and overwhelmed because they are "tapped out" or "don't have the means" to do whatever it is that they desire.  I'm here to tell you that you have the power to change that! Refer back to tip #1 and do what's necessary. That normally means making a sacrifice. We often get stuck and complacent because we are not willing to make that radical sacrifice to get to the next level. Maximize your means! You have friends, family, contacts, relationships and resources around you everyday that can donate, loan, support, suggest and guide you to where you need to be. Utilize those resources and manage your funds wisely. Make a sacrificial cut now to create a long term abundance later. You are destined to have money in your bank account, so leave it there!

3. Designate and Delegate . In order to do step #2, I encourage you to find your people and use them. Get comfortable with asking for what you need. People really do want to help, but they do not have your vision. You have to share it with them and let them know how to support you.

4. Don't try. Do. "I tried and it didn't work." "I give up." "That's not for me." Well, do it again. You know it's for you, you're just disappointed. That's ok. disappointment is part of the process too, but you must keep going. If you've "tried" it, that means you've done it. You just want to adjust and do it again to get better and better. Stay committed to the vision. If you're destined for it, it will work.

5. Live! Life is happening everyday. You have the opportunity to choose. Let go of your fears, inhibitions and childhood teachings that no longer suit you. This is your life and your opportunity to shine like only you can.  You are here to show up in the greatness that only has your name on it. Own it!! Let the world know why you are hearing. We are waiting for you.

The only way you can be the person you were created to be is to L.E.A.D.!

 

Kristin M. Young, “The Marriage Enthusiast” is a proud supporter and staff member of Heal a Woman to Heal a Nation, Inc. She is committed to supporting women in their journey to wholeness as individuals and in their marriages. 

Stay Encouraged- Follow Your Dreams

Stay Encouraged- Follow Your Dreams

For all the sad words of tongue or pen, the saddest are these: "It might have been!" - John Greenleaf Whittier

Changes in the season typically make me harsher on myself. That raise, promotion, or business deal did not materialize. Do not fret. If you are in a rut or struggling to find a way out of a bad situation, stay encouraged. This time last year, I was not excited. I was too focused on what did not happen the previous year and how little I seemingly accomplished.

Learn from my past mistake. Stop worrying. If you have done all you know to do, continue to be diligent. Do not be afraid of patience. Patience is one of those overlooked virtues that is essential to building a business, dream-chasing, and achieving goals. Good things come to those who wait. Without patience you may jump the gun to a false start and penalize all the hard work you have invested. What comes quick and easy, will be gone just as quickly as it arrived. You want your dream and business to have staying power. 

Dream-chasing is like baking. You cannot force a cake, bread, or pie to cook fast. It is one of those things that needs the right temperature and ingredients. This Easter was my first time making homemade yeast rolls. It was trial and error. First, my yeast would not bubble. I called my mom. Instead of lukewarm water, I added hot water effectively killing the yeast. Second, it matters that the eggs and butter are at room temperature and you do simple things like sifting the flour. Even after the yeast turned into dough, it had to sit in the refrigerator for a couple hours. Afterwards, I had to knead it and let it rise for another two hours before I could finally bake it. Baking is not for the faint of heart. I cooked lamb chops, roasted broccoli with tomato and feta, corn succotash, mashed sweet potatoes, and a carrot cake with a rum cream cheese frosting. My Easter meal was delicious. However, by far the best dish was the oatmeal molasses rolls. It took a lot of work, but they were the star. 

Likewise, in dream-chasing, attention to detail and knowing when to walk away to let things rest is part of the recipe for success. Sometimes you might be ready, but other people that need to cross your path are not ready. Every closed door is not a missed opportunity. Maybe, it is a bad deal you dodged. Ever listen to accident survivors? "If I left a minute earlier that would have been me"? Sometimes although it seems like doors are slamming, it is actually a blessing in disguise.

I know this does not sound good when you are struggling after years of investing emotionally, mentally, and financially in a dream that is seemingly about to flat line. However, hold on. "Let patience have her perfect work." In the middle of frustration, do not faint. This is a marathon not a sprint. You have come too far to give up now!

Trust me. I have been in the pit of despair, wondering why I risked it all to pay triple in housing for a third of the space and see rats and trash in the street. I know what it is like to feel that there is nothing left in your tank. I am not where I want to be, but I have moved closer to the goal. Now, I am not as easily frustrated. Sometimes you stand alone. Other times, you have secret angels in the form of friends, family, and kind strangers pulling for you.

Don't Quit - by John Greenleaf Whittier
When things go wrong as they sometimes will,
When the road you're trudging seems all up hill,
When the funds are low and the debts are high
And you want to smile, but you have to sigh,
When care is pressing you down a bit,
Rest if you must, but don't you quit.
Life is strange with its twists and turns
As every one of us sometimes learns
And many a failure comes about
When he might have won had he stuck it out;
Don't give up though the pace seems slow--
You may succeed with another blow.
Success is failure turned inside out--
The silver tint of the clouds of doubt,
And you never can tell just how close you are,
It may be near when it seems so far;
So stick to the fight when you're hardest hit--
It's when things seem worst that you must not quit.

 This originally appeared on Ronda's blog, Ronda-isms: Good Bad & Ugly. Follow Ronda Lee on Twitter: www.twitter.com/Rondaisms

5 Steps to Transform Your Gloom to BOOM

“Don’t let today’s disappointments cast a shadow on tomorrow’s dreams.” ~Unknown

How many times have you gotten yourself super psyched about a new dream? You see it in your mind. You feel yourself running through that finish line. You hear the introduction before you go on stage. You see the direct impact you make on a community from the generous gift you donated. You call your closest girlfriend and share your well thought out plan and you have her full support. You sit down and put your pen to the paper, your fingers to the keyboard and your ear to the phone. You are in hustle mode and no one can stop you! Except…. You. 

But, it’s not really you, because it’s really those 6 organizations you called who said they cannot support you at this time. As well as the two banks that denied your loan and of course the dear family members who made it clear that what you are doing is outrageous and you need to be more realistic.

Ma’am, I am here to remind you that no one can stop you except you. Your vision is your vision. Your actions are your actions and your will is your will. You are here with a divine appointment to act on the gifts, strengths and visions that are inside of you. So I am going to give you a five step strategy to press pass the gloom to focus on your BOOM.

1. Acknowledge potential challenges and attack them.

Finances, time, degrees, children, transportation, education, fear of rejection… list them all. Any and everything you foresee as a roadblock, write them down and create a plan to turn them into hurdles. Get the support you need. It’s harder to stray from a well written plan than a great idea in your mind. 

2. Get to know you.

What makes you tick? What makes you sick? What turns you on? What stops you in your tracks? What makes your blood boil? What encourages you? We all have those people, places things and thoughts that trigger us to run faster or come to a sudden halt. Write them down and acknowledge them. Which ones are you comfortable with? Which ones do you want to shift? How can you strengthen the areas you want to strengthen? You are entitled to every emotion you feel whenever you feel it, however, it’s up to you to know why you feel it and how those emotions serve you and hurt you.

3. Now you know. A.C.T.

Now that you can identify your triggers, what are you going to do with them? You are going to create a strategy to stand on your emotions instead of losing yourself in them. In life, the actions you take speak volumes about the person you are. Honor your truth and stand in your greatness. You have Acknowledged your challenges and now you are Creating your “Win Strategy” to stay proactive in your thoughts and responses. As you continue to work your plan and focus on the inner work, you will see the Transformation in your daily life and soon realize the fears and the challenges you once endured are part of your history.  Acknowledge. Create. Transform.

4. Celebrate you.

We learn early on that we celebrate major milestones and accomplishments. Graduations, retirements, birthdays, weddings, etc. are certainly worth celebrating, but when we breakdown the essence of each of those celebrations, you are the common denominator. You are the reason the celebration exists. You are powerful and amazing! Why wait for a major accomplishment five years from now when you do great things everyday? Celebrate you! Every goal you complete and every step you take is a power move on your life journey. 

5. Actions speak louder than thoughts.

With all of the planning and strategies you have created, old and new obstacles will show up. Remember, the key to the planning and strategizing is the action. You have to look those fears and those people in the eye and do it afraid. Stick to your plan and stick to your truth. You are only as great as the person you allow yourself to be. Tell that negativity to step aside so you can run on!

You are loved. You are great. You are here on purpose. Show up and show out!

 

Kristin M. Young, “The Marriage Enthusiast” is a proud supporter and staff member of Heal a Woman to Heal a Nation, Inc. She is committed to supporting women in their journey to wholeness as individuals and in their marriages. Let Kristin know your thoughts, share with us on FB or tweet using hashtag #hwhn!