7 Courageous Actions to Maximize the Queen in You

WOW!!




We are in the middle of an awesome 2-day tele-summit entitled, "Because I am a Queen" and it is pure awesomeness! Where else can you go as a woman to have every area of your life supported and celebrated and to TRULY get what you need? Heal a Woman to Heal a Nation!!


This tele-summit is for you to come and seek the answers for your next steps in your greatness. Because I Am a Queen offers practical steps and insights for those specific questions you need to ask yourself to become the confident queen you were created to be.


As I listened to all of the powerful information and saw all of the beautiful honesty, truths, and "Aha" moments posted in the Facebook group, I knew that this is definitely a training I will keep in my self development library as a refresher. We all have those moments when we question ourselves and wonder "Why I am doing this?" "Is it really worth it?" "Am I really equipped to do this?" This telesummit addressed how to handle yourself in those moments and to push past all of the negative people and thoughts that come your way. I am going to give you 7 of the Courageous Action Steps that I am holding onto from the first night of the call.  

1) Who are you? Of course you know your name, where you live, your parents, your occupation, etc,etc, but who ARE you? Do you know the essence of your being? Do you know the specific, individual, quirky, unique, amazing things about you that make you you? Do you know what makes you stand out and most importantly, do you own it? 


2) Why are you here? Once you know who you are, you can get clear about what you were created to do. We are each birthed into the world to solve a problem. You are on purpose.

 3) What’s holding you back? Ok, so you know who you are and why you are here, but you haven't taken action. Why? Because momma said it's not realistic? Your boyfriend said it's going to take too much time? Has your husband told you maybe later when you can fit it in the budget? Or maybe you told yourself you wouldn't be a good mother if you pursue it. Whatever "IT" is, recognize it and put some positivity on it. Positivity breeds progression. Allow yourself to honor your commit to your Creator by making a way to do what you are called to do.

4) 2There are 2 mindsets- Fixed and Growth- When you make the commit to move forward in your purpose, know that THAT is the moment when the work begins and it starts in the mind. It's ok. We all have to train those brain muscles to think about something other than math and history. You have to work the "I Can" brain muscle. We often fall into routines of living within boundaries that are set by others. sometimes we set our own unnecessary boundaries based off of what we see in other people. That "fixed" mindset says, "I can't. It won't work. That's not realistic." As we work that brain muscle and challenge it, we can create the "Growth" mindset that says, "I can. I will find a way to make it work because it is realistic." Have the growth mindset to realize there is more and go get it. And remember to build a community around you who support your "Growth mindset."

5) Get clear about what you want. This world is full of opportunity and options. It is completely true that everything is not for everybody. So what is for you? What are those desires of your heart? What motivates you? What keeps you going? Just as you are clear about your purpose and why you are here, get clear about what you want that will keep you here. Those things that bring joy and value to your life, those relationships, that lifestyle, that dream fulfilled, get clear about them and stay focused on them. Remind yourself of your goals, your dreams and your WHY. Great things come your way when you ask for what you want and what you need.  

6) Lift as you climb- I absolutely love this! As you grow, so does your community. The support system around you will get the trickle down of your efforts. There is room for everyone at the top, BUT, they must be willing. Don't be afraid to reach back and pull others up along with you. Know that someone is always waiting for you, and most of them you have never met. 

7) Don’t ask for permission. Give notice. BOOM!!! It doesn't get much realer than that! Stop waiting for someone else to say it's ok to live your purpose. Stop asking if someone will help and simply tell them how they can help. This is your life and your vision. No one else will ever do this thing like you so do it up and play full out!! 

I am so excited about what is in store for Part II of Because I Am a Queen. If you missed it, last night, do yourself a favor and make it a priority to join us tonight, July 22, 2015 at 9p EST. Register at www.hwhn.org and step into your royalty.


You are worth it.!


Kristin M. Young, “The Marriage Enthusiast” is a proud supporter and staff member of Heal a Woman to Heal a Nation, Inc. She is committed to supporting women in their journey to wholeness as individuals and in their marriages. 

5 Steps to Free Yourself from the Guilt of Being a Passionate Parent Living Your Life on Purpose!

          

It’s after 10 o’clock on a Sunday night and I just plopped down on the couch with my son to watch the movie, “Curious George.”  Together we’re cherishing the moments, and enjoying all the short-lived freedoms that the summer months bring…then about 15 minutes into the movie, I get a call and it’s the transitional home I volunteer for as a Life Coach-I had to answer.  A sincerely compelling voice greets me on the other end, it’s the house mom who apologizes for the short notice and is wondering if I can go to court with a resident as a support in the morning, as in about 8 hours from now.  How can I resist?  After all, just a few days ago after hearing her story, I was moved and inspired to advocate for her, and here is God answering my prayers!  I’d wondered:  “How can I be of help?”  “What can I do to make a difference?”  “How can I use my story of victory to help encourage her through her process?”  So without hesitation and full of gratitude, I eagerly respond, “YES!”

           But wait, here it comes…My son had just came back home earlier that day after having spent some time at his dad’s.  We were just swapping hugs & kisses, expressing I love you and I missed you’s.  Now here mommy is again whisked away by her passion for living her life on purpose.  But before I allowed the guilt to set in, I reminded myself of these 5 simple steps that I employ frequently so that I remain guilt free:

#1 Communicate on your child’s level.

We’re all aware that in all healthy relationships, communication is key.  However, sometimes we don’t share our passions with our children, assuming they can’t understand.  Children are smarter than we sometimes give them credit for.  My son loves his cars.  He likes to talk about them, design them, write stories about them, build them out of Legos, and conveniently build “parking lots” all over the house where I’ll step on them so that I may feel the depth of his passion!  So what I did was juxtapose our passions by saying, “You know how mommy calls you to eat and I have to repeat myself several times because you’re engrossed in finishing one of your Lego cars?  Well, that’s how mommy feels about the work she does with the girls at the Sierra House and when I’m writing,” he responded with an illuminated smile, “Ohhh yeah, yeah, I get it!”  Use your knowledge of your child’s passion to leverage the conversation and come to a mutual understanding.  They get it.

           #2 Invite them into your world.

Each year when I attend the Heal a Woman to Heal a Nation Annual Conference, I love to be reunited with all the women who attend.  The women in attendance are the embodiment of passionate living on purpose.  Many of the women are wives, mothers, and single mothers too.  It always brings me joy when I see one mom in particular, who faithfully brings her daughter who is a child with special needs.  Having worked for the special needs population as a nurse, I know how the parents struggle with guilt.  Many of the parents neglect living fully so that they can tend to the demands of parenting a child with special needs, as well as to avoid the social stigma attached to the role.  But not this mom, her daughter’s presence is a light in the room and she brings so much love, youthfulness, laughter and dance into the space; I don’t know that it would be the same without her; she teaches us that sisterhood knows no boundaries.   Seek out communities in alignment with your passions that are supportive of your needs as a parent, they do exist.  Sometimes my son will come with me to the Sierra House when we do creative activities like vision boarding during group.  Help them to feel included by sharing in your excitement.

           #3 Help your child to discover and nurture their interests.

It’s never too early to get your child’s wheels turning in regards to discovering their passions and divine purpose.  Get them to think BIG!  In many foreign countries, it’s custom to take notice of a child’s gifting and those involved in that child’s upbringing, nurture and invest in those qualities accordingly.  These children grow to become confident and productive young adults who start making contributions to the improvement of their societies early on.  When people encounter my son, Amen, they often say things like, “Oh!  So one day you can learn to be an auto mechanic and fix the cars!”  So what we did one year for his Black History project was research African-American designers in the automobile industry and did his project on Earl Lucas, one of only 25 in the world.  You don’t have to wait for a school project though, spend a Saturday afternoon creating a vision board together.  The thing is to get them to see the possibilities beyond the average roles regularly presented to them, keep them motivated to press towards the high mark, and help them to develop a heart for servicing the greater good of the world.  The best time to begin instilling these values is when they are young and the imagination is ripe.  This will also help to strengthen their self-esteem before the world or experience comes in and triggers doubt.

          

#4 Create balance.

This weekend I found myself over-committed and overwhelmed, leaving me to make cancellations and back out of my plans.  Sometimes us passionate ones give way too many yeses before checking in with ourselves first.  Establish healthy boundaries to protect the values you hold and those of your family.  Ask yourself if you have the capacity to fulfill the agreements you make with others.  Commit to keeping track of your obligations to avoid disappointing others, people tend to understand a justified “no” better than a broken promise.  Get yourself a planner to help you stay mindful of where you need to be, what free time you have for family, and to be sure you square away time for self-care. 

   

           #5 Know that having the freedom to express yourself makes life better for us all!

What we have inside of us, is vital for the continual healing of ourselves, our homes, the community, our nation, and ultimately our world.  Think, “If mama isn’t happy, then nobody’s happy!”  Your family is happy to see you happy.  That thing that you do, that no one else can do like you do, is making this world a better place to live in.  Living on purpose is not about you, but it is about us all.  You are out there being the change that we so need to see, and your children will thank you for assuring that they would inherit a world wherein you made an impact so that they could thrive, be safe, and have access to opportunity so they can become all they are destined to be!

I hope by now that you are inspired to keep on living on purpose, passionately and guilt free!  With communication, sharing, your leadership and example your children will become your biggest cheerleaders.  Free yourself from the weight of self-condemnation for operating in the world as your highest self.   Lastly, pat yourself on the back for modeling excellence to the little ones who are forever watching, for they are our future.    

About to the author: Jonae N. Potter-Gill coaches young women who are in transition.  She is a mom, student, and Licensed Practical Nurse by profession.

How to Stay the Course

How can you storm past the obstacles in your path to success? 

Imagine you're running a race on an obstacle course. If you keep your head down and merely jogged you won't have the momentum you need to jump the hurdles (knocking them down won't make you lose points in this race) or scale the walls.

To achieve your ultimate success without being knocked off-course, you'll need two tools:

·        Endurance

·        Destination  

Fuel for the Journey

The best athletes know that rest is as important as practice. In order to knock obstacles out of the way, achieve your goals, and stay the course, take time daily to refuel and recharge. How you feed your mind is just as important as fueling your body. Consider who you're around, what you read and what you listen to as you refuel. We don't want to run our race on empty. Let's build our endurance muscles for those obstacles by feeding our mind and body with the best ingredients and let's educate ourselves on how to best meet our goals.  

Maintain Your Momentum

Although some love moving fast! It's not best to go from 0- 80, however once we build our momentum and get our energy flowing we're able to regulate the ebb and flow. Some hurdles call for a high leap and others a strategic climb, however, all require momentum. Whether the goal is to lose weight, start a business or save money, you have to be consistent. Hurdles will come, like gaining 2 pounds this week or those super cute pair of shoes on sale however working diligently with the finish line in mind (even if it's not in view) will help keep you on track.  

Destination= Vision

We know the finish line is there however, we can't always see it. You already know where you’re going so on the other side of a mountain of debt, is financial freedom. On the other side of that paperwork is a non-profit status so you can serve in a greater way.  You know exactly where you're aiming to be, so let's view the markers along the race letting you know where you are. Writing your goals and having an accountability community is so important. Share your vision, it doesn't mean everyone will agree with you however you can find that partner to help you stay accountable to your ultimate goal. You may have heard, "get an accountability partner" before, however its particular impactful when you're faced with obstacles or stumbling blocks on your path towards success. Make the time, ideally a few minutes each day, visualizing your success. Imagine it! Feel the joy! Truly building out the experience in your mind will help to make it a reality. 

Building your endurance for the journey and keeping the vision of your ultimate success will ensure that you turn mountains into molehills.

How will you build your endurance to overcome your current obstacles? Let us know in the comments below. 

About the author: Sister Mothyna James-Brightful is a self proclaimed “Self Love Revolutionary”. She has spent the last decade empowering women and girls to live authentic lives. Sister Mothyna is the Visionary Director and Co-founder of Heal a Woman to Heal a Nation. Sister Mothyna is co-author of Because I am a Queen...100 Affirmations for Daily Living and is currently working on her forth coming book Engage.Inspire. Prevent. Educating Teens on Sexual Violence. Stay connected www.hwhn.org: Twitter @mothyna

It Does Work!

20. That’s the number of days left in 2013. Whew! Soon, 2014 is going to roll in and we’ll be ready to make resolutions. Well, I remembered this oldie but goodie and we think now is a perfect time to share It Does Work!***

I recently reflected on my goals for the year and there is quite a bit left to be accomplished! How about you? Are you where you thought you’d be when you “organized” your goals in January? Too many of us wait for a change in the calendar to make changes in our lives. The reality is when we wait, well often the only thing that changes are the dates on the calendar.  We set goals, resolutions and “make” plans, but we often fall back into old habits. We get involved in caring for everyone and everything while we allow our dreams to become a murky something that then disappears behind an armoire of regret (literally and figuratively).  Now, at next year’s spring cleaning (literally and figuratively) we may reminiscence and say something akin to “oh that’s where you went.” Then, we’ll chalk it up and add it to a list of things that don’t work. You know that list… vision boarding, meal planning, the gym, the whole goal setting thing. None of it works! Right? Check again. It DOES WORK! Post. Prioritize. Plan. Persist.

Where is your vision? Is it POSTed at eye level where you can see it every day?  You may not have completed an actual vision board, but you're vision should be POSTed where you can see it in your mind and heart. I suggest creating an actual vision board. IT DOES WORK!

PRIORITIZE... your aspirations (goals/dreams) from short term (3- 6months) to long term (9 months to a year). Write it down. Choose an accountability partner for each goal. IT DOES WORK!

PLAN...share with your "partner" your aspirations and ask for their help in achieving your goal. Allow them to be your "mirror" or reminder. Choose this person with care but choose someone. Act now. IT DOES WORK!

PERSIST... it may be difficult...not just at first but along the way. However, you can do it. Your partner is there to help you. Your vision is your reminder. Continue to work prayerfully; being persistent and you will continue moving forward toward your goal. IT DOES WORK!

So, let’s work together… dust off your dreams. Now is a perfect time to create a new vision board and set goals you can accomplish by the close of the year. Commit to being worthy of your goals. “Post” your dreams. Prioritize your goals. Plan and persist.  As my own vision board reminds me, “change begins with you.” You're worthy. 

About the Author: Sister Mothyna James-Brightful is a self proclaimed “Self Love Revolutionary”. She has spent the last decade empowering women and girls to live authentic lives. Sister Mothyna is the Visionary Director and Co-founder of Heal a Woman to Heal a Nation. Sister Mothyna is co-author of Because I am a Queen...100 Affirmations for Daily Living. Stay connected www.hwhn.org: Twitter @mothyna