4 Signs You're Not Trusting Your Instincts

**As seen on http://www.valorieburton.com/blog/ March 8, 2015**

A few days ago, I felt moved to post this on Facebook:

“You know truth when you see it. Your spirit knows. Stop doubting and over analyzing. Trust your instincts.”

It is a simple truth, but one we often need to be reminded of.  If you’ve ever second guessed yourself only to remember later why you should not second guess yourself, you understand why being reminded of the power of trusting your instincts is so important. I believe our instincts are a divine gift – a sixth sense, the guidance of the Holy Spirit.  It isn’t always explainable, but it is always powerful.  

This week, I want to remind you to trust your instincts on that decision you are making, that relationship you’re contemplating, or that conversation it’s time to have.  Pray about it. Listen, not just with your ears, but with your spirit. And muster the courage to act on it.  If you don’t, you’ll likely regret it – just like you have before. 

We often don’t trust our instincts because of past mistakes. But if you are truly honest, you might just realize that in those past “mistakes,” your instincts were not wrong. They were ignored. Telling yourself the truth is the first step to getting unstuck.  Often, the truth is that we had a nagging feeling about the relationship, but moved forward anyway. We didn’t really want to take that job, but we didn’t have the patience or boldness to go for what we really wanted.  We didn’t feel at peace about that decision, but let someone talk us into. If you had followed your intuition, the outcome may indeed have been different. Consider these four signs that you’re not trusting your instincts, and this week, make a commitment to pay attention:

  

1.You have that nagging feeling.

You know the feeling? Don’t do that. Something’s not quite right. The timing is off. Pay attention to those divine nudges in your spirit.  If you don’t feel at peace about something, don’t move forward.

2.You’re busy asking everyone’s opinion.

If the right decision isn’t necessarily the popular decision (especially if you are an approval addict), it can be tempting to seek other opinions. Wise counsel is good. People pleasing is not. Get off the phone, stop asking for opinions, and get quiet. Notice the answer that presents itself when you listen to that still, small voice.

3.The truth makes you uncomfortable.

You can either deal with it now or deal with it later. Sometimes your instincts lead you in a direction that stretches you beyond your comfort zone. And that will always make you UN-comfortable.  That nagging truth might be inconvenient, but the sooner you acknowledge it, the better off you’ll be.

4.You are overly-logical.

Don’t get me wrong. Logic has its place. We must be strategic. But sometimes the pivotal decisions in life are not the most obvious.  They are leaps of faith.  You won’t always be able to figure it all out ahead of time.  Take it one step at a time.

  

My challenge to you:

Get quiet. Trust your instincts.

Valorie Burton is a bestselling author, speaker, and life coach dedicated to helping people get unstuck and be unstoppable in every area of life. She is the founder of The Coaching and Positive Psychology (CaPP) Institute and has served as a Certified Personal and Executive Coach to hundreds of clients in over 40 states and ten countries. - See more at: http://www.valorieburton.com/

5 Steps to Transform Your Gloom to BOOM

“Don’t let today’s disappointments cast a shadow on tomorrow’s dreams.” ~Unknown

How many times have you gotten yourself super psyched about a new dream? You see it in your mind. You feel yourself running through that finish line. You hear the introduction before you go on stage. You see the direct impact you make on a community from the generous gift you donated. You call your closest girlfriend and share your well thought out plan and you have her full support. You sit down and put your pen to the paper, your fingers to the keyboard and your ear to the phone. You are in hustle mode and no one can stop you! Except…. You. 

But, it’s not really you, because it’s really those 6 organizations you called who said they cannot support you at this time. As well as the two banks that denied your loan and of course the dear family members who made it clear that what you are doing is outrageous and you need to be more realistic.

Ma’am, I am here to remind you that no one can stop you except you. Your vision is your vision. Your actions are your actions and your will is your will. You are here with a divine appointment to act on the gifts, strengths and visions that are inside of you. So I am going to give you a five step strategy to press pass the gloom to focus on your BOOM.

1. Acknowledge potential challenges and attack them.

Finances, time, degrees, children, transportation, education, fear of rejection… list them all. Any and everything you foresee as a roadblock, write them down and create a plan to turn them into hurdles. Get the support you need. It’s harder to stray from a well written plan than a great idea in your mind. 

2. Get to know you.

What makes you tick? What makes you sick? What turns you on? What stops you in your tracks? What makes your blood boil? What encourages you? We all have those people, places things and thoughts that trigger us to run faster or come to a sudden halt. Write them down and acknowledge them. Which ones are you comfortable with? Which ones do you want to shift? How can you strengthen the areas you want to strengthen? You are entitled to every emotion you feel whenever you feel it, however, it’s up to you to know why you feel it and how those emotions serve you and hurt you.

3. Now you know. A.C.T.

Now that you can identify your triggers, what are you going to do with them? You are going to create a strategy to stand on your emotions instead of losing yourself in them. In life, the actions you take speak volumes about the person you are. Honor your truth and stand in your greatness. You have Acknowledged your challenges and now you are Creating your “Win Strategy” to stay proactive in your thoughts and responses. As you continue to work your plan and focus on the inner work, you will see the Transformation in your daily life and soon realize the fears and the challenges you once endured are part of your history.  Acknowledge. Create. Transform.

4. Celebrate you.

We learn early on that we celebrate major milestones and accomplishments. Graduations, retirements, birthdays, weddings, etc. are certainly worth celebrating, but when we breakdown the essence of each of those celebrations, you are the common denominator. You are the reason the celebration exists. You are powerful and amazing! Why wait for a major accomplishment five years from now when you do great things everyday? Celebrate you! Every goal you complete and every step you take is a power move on your life journey. 

5. Actions speak louder than thoughts.

With all of the planning and strategies you have created, old and new obstacles will show up. Remember, the key to the planning and strategizing is the action. You have to look those fears and those people in the eye and do it afraid. Stick to your plan and stick to your truth. You are only as great as the person you allow yourself to be. Tell that negativity to step aside so you can run on!

You are loved. You are great. You are here on purpose. Show up and show out!

 

Kristin M. Young, “The Marriage Enthusiast” is a proud supporter and staff member of Heal a Woman to Heal a Nation, Inc. She is committed to supporting women in their journey to wholeness as individuals and in their marriages. Let Kristin know your thoughts, share with us on FB or tweet using hashtag #hwhn!

Coach Felicia: 'What or Who Is Behind Your Decisions?'

Coach Felicia

Photo Credit: Keith Major

originally featured on essence.com

A few weeks ago, I laid down to catch a quick nap. Immediately, my three-year-old niece crawled on to the bed and draped her little body across mine. As she rested her head on my back, I grabbed my phone and took my first selfie ever! The back of her head and those little pom-pom ponytails bring a smile to my face every time I see them.

Though I wanted to rest, I couldn’t—primarily because it is hard to drift off with nearly thirty pounds on your back and secondly because I didn’t want to make any moves that might hurt her. And, asking her to move wasn’t an option, because I know that one day she might not think “Mauntie” is the coolest thing since sliced bread or feel too grown to snuggle up with me.

As we lay there, her watching TV and me savoring the moment, I thought about the fact that there have been many times in my life when I wanted to throw in the proverbial towel and just quit. Sometimes I wanted to stop working hard and at others I wanted to quit doing the right thing and just do whatever I wanted. Most times, I made the right choice...most!

As I look back at the moments when I was able to falter, but not fall, I find that one of the things that helped me to make the best decision is the fact that I know there are people looking up to me.

Regardless of who you are, your life makes a difference to someone. There will be times when people only believe in something more or different, because of your example. While we never want to be the source of someone’s faith, we must take responsibility for the influence we wield. There are moments when we may want to do what is least painful, or easiest, on our emotions—even when it isn’t for the best. When we face those turning points, we must factor a few things into our decision-making:

1. Identifying the Real Problem: Failure to acknowledge the “real” problem only makes matters worse. My client Georgia once called me in literal tears over her affair with a married man. Besides operating outside of her own character, the affair was only compounding her root issue—the loneliness that led her into it! We want to take actions that move us in a forward direction. Sometimes we get frustrated because life doesn’t change, but the real problem is that we haven’t made different types of decisions.

2. Identifying Our Standards: When we know our standards, certain behaviors, relationships and decisions cease to be an option. Sometimes we feel overwhelmed by the emotions of the moment because we root our decisions in our feelings, not in the concrete of what we are looking for or expect from life.

3. Identifying the Exchange: In order to get one thing, we have to give up another. When we choose a path in life, we close the door or limit the options another path may have offered. All actions and decisions have consequences. We must make sure that whatever we get is worth what we will give up. Otherwise, we’ll be angry and regretful.

Do Your Work: Whether it is purchasing a new appliance or taking a new job, the pros and cons list works wonders. Spend time on your list today. Let me help you make decisions to win, visit coachfelicia.com/coaching-session to qualify for a free laser session valued at $397.

Define Your Wealth: Affirm out loud, “I choose the road of wisdom and character everyday!”

About the  Author: Named the “North America’s Next Greatest Speaker” by eWomenNetwork, Coach Felicia is a Certified Empowerment Coach™ who empowers her clients to "Turn their Worth into Wealth" as she partners with them to DISCOVER their WORTH, DO the WORK and DEFINE their WEALTH. Get more insight, download the FREE “8 Choices Winners Must Make” seminar MP3 on her website.