How to Get to Happy

True Joy

By Valorie Burton

Valorie Burton encourages you to discover what lifts your spirit so you can create happiness every day. Find your own motivations for free at happywomantest.com, which lists 13 triggers Burton explores in her book Happy Women Live Better. Here she outlines a few of the big ones:

Anticipation: Every day I make sure I have something to look forward to. Whether having dinner with a friend or curling up with a good novel, we need to be intentional about creating activities we enjoy. This one habit can instantly boost your happiness.

Service: Do at least one thing daily to brighten someone else's day. This requires you to take the focus off yourself and put the spotlight on another. Whether you volunteer for a nonprofit or stop by to visit that friend who's going through a tough time, help somebody.

Financial savvy: It won't happen overnight, but aim to live on 75 percent (or less) of your income. People who live below their means are happier. And buy experiences instead of things—a vacation, a class to learn something new; it will make you happier than another pair of shoes.

Gratitude: At the end of the day, ask, "What were the three best things about today?" Write them down. Studies show that doing so for just three weeks will improve your mood and strengthen your immune system.

Play: Guys are great at playing basketball, golf and video games. We women need to give ourselves permission to play and be silly. Go outside for a game of catch with the kids or have friends over for a night of charades. Play increases creativity and reduces stress.

Relaxation: This trigger tends to be least used by women who have taken my happiness test. Let go of guilt, stop worrying, and give yourself permission to take a catnap, a break, a vacation! Doing nothing rejuvenates the soul.

Movement: Exercise is a happiness trigger. Just 20 minutes of cardio per day can lift your mood for up to 24 hours, according to research. Make it fun. Take a class, go for a walk with your honey, or turn on your favorite music and dance in the living room.

***Originally published at www.essence.com

3 Habits of Millionaires You Should Adopt

We’ve all seen the lists that come out every year naming the wealthiest people in the world and the country. The billionaires and millionaires, individuals whose net worth are in the millions and billions not the people who simply make millions (yes there is a big difference). People who build wealth tend to be focused. They keep their eyes on the prize and most think big and outside the box. These traits combined with some other key habits are exhibited by millionaires and are the reasons they have and keep their millions.  Here are some concrete habits you should adopt.

Habit #1: Millionaires are frugal.

When people think of the word frugal most go straight to the concept of being miserly, instead of careful with money or not wasteful.  Usually a frugal person is considered to be a cheap person who tries to skimp on everything. However, let’s turn that on its head. Millionaires are some of the most frugal people. You may immediately think, yeah sure they are…that $500,000 car and multi-million dollar home is really frugal. But it’s true, millionaires are frugal. For example, I watched an interview where Warren Buffet, the second wealthiest person in America at a net worth of $58.5 billion, said he’s had the same wallet for twenty years! Twenty years! If anyone can afford a new wallet then Warren Buffet can right. However, it’s not just about the fact that he could afford it. He spends on what he truly enjoys and is frugal about everything else. That’s the true luxury in frugal living (the motto you see blasted on this site). Spend as extravagantly as you want on the things that you love and be frugal with the things that are not as important to you. Sure, millionaires have very expensive items and toys but they made sure to have the income or assets to pay for those toys before they purchased them. No credit used. No debt incurred.

Habit #2: Millionaires keep it slow and steady.

You don’t see millionaires trying “get rich quick schemes.” There are proven methods to build wealth and increase your net worth and they aren’t quick or overnight, with the exclusion of inheritance or winning the lottery. The term is “build wealth” for a reason, you must build it. You will need to use long-term money solutions such as a 401(k) and investments outside of retirement accounts to build wealth. Continuously contribute to retirement accounts to reach your nest egg goal; yes you should know how much you will need, the exact dollar amount. You have to know what the prize is to keep your eyes on it. Investing takes time to see steady gains. The average return on investment in today’s market hovers between 9-10%. I would need to write several articles to explain details about investing, but basically you need to leave the money in the market for years to see such returns. 

Habit #3: Millionaires buy assets not liabilities.

When you get your paycheck and you make a list of the things that you’re going to buy, what is on that list? Is every item a liability, something that you will spend money on that doesn’t make you any money? If yes, then you’re falling into the cycle that many of us do. We use all of our income to purchase liabilities and don’t spend any money on purchasing assets. Assets are things that bring in money without you putting additional money, time and energy. Millionaires work on continually acquiring assets or investments that can bring in money. Create a plan on how and when you’ll purchase more income generating assets.

Pair your determination, focus, and knowledge with these habits so you too can start building wealth and raising your net worth. You can do it. 

About the author: Maria James has a compassion for people that makes her involvement in Heal a Woman to Heal a Nation a sure fit. She is a biomedical scientist who is public health conscience and has always worked for the betterment of others. Maria is the founder of Pocket of Money, LLC which provides tools and tips to help you take control of your money and live your best life.

How to Stay the Course

How can you storm past the obstacles in your path to success? 

Imagine you're running a race on an obstacle course. If you keep your head down and merely jogged you won't have the momentum you need to jump the hurdles (knocking them down won't make you lose points in this race) or scale the walls.

To achieve your ultimate success without being knocked off-course, you'll need two tools:

·        Endurance

·        Destination  

Fuel for the Journey

The best athletes know that rest is as important as practice. In order to knock obstacles out of the way, achieve your goals, and stay the course, take time daily to refuel and recharge. How you feed your mind is just as important as fueling your body. Consider who you're around, what you read and what you listen to as you refuel. We don't want to run our race on empty. Let's build our endurance muscles for those obstacles by feeding our mind and body with the best ingredients and let's educate ourselves on how to best meet our goals.  

Maintain Your Momentum

Although some love moving fast! It's not best to go from 0- 80, however once we build our momentum and get our energy flowing we're able to regulate the ebb and flow. Some hurdles call for a high leap and others a strategic climb, however, all require momentum. Whether the goal is to lose weight, start a business or save money, you have to be consistent. Hurdles will come, like gaining 2 pounds this week or those super cute pair of shoes on sale however working diligently with the finish line in mind (even if it's not in view) will help keep you on track.  

Destination= Vision

We know the finish line is there however, we can't always see it. You already know where you’re going so on the other side of a mountain of debt, is financial freedom. On the other side of that paperwork is a non-profit status so you can serve in a greater way.  You know exactly where you're aiming to be, so let's view the markers along the race letting you know where you are. Writing your goals and having an accountability community is so important. Share your vision, it doesn't mean everyone will agree with you however you can find that partner to help you stay accountable to your ultimate goal. You may have heard, "get an accountability partner" before, however its particular impactful when you're faced with obstacles or stumbling blocks on your path towards success. Make the time, ideally a few minutes each day, visualizing your success. Imagine it! Feel the joy! Truly building out the experience in your mind will help to make it a reality. 

Building your endurance for the journey and keeping the vision of your ultimate success will ensure that you turn mountains into molehills.

How will you build your endurance to overcome your current obstacles? Let us know in the comments below. 

About the author: Sister Mothyna James-Brightful is a self proclaimed “Self Love Revolutionary”. She has spent the last decade empowering women and girls to live authentic lives. Sister Mothyna is the Visionary Director and Co-founder of Heal a Woman to Heal a Nation. Sister Mothyna is co-author of Because I am a Queen...100 Affirmations for Daily Living and is currently working on her forth coming book Engage.Inspire. Prevent. Educating Teens on Sexual Violence. Stay connected www.hwhn.org: Twitter @mothyna

Expect to Win and B.O.L.T.

Usain Bolt is described as the fastest man alive! I was recently watching the documentary on his extraordinary Olympic wins and track career. In the film, Bolt describes what happens on the track and how he wins his race. As he described it, I was hit by how much it really describes life and business for those of us entrepreneurs. Here are the 8 phases of the B.O.L.T.! 

 

The Start- Bolt describes himself as a poor starter...WHAT!!! The fastest man in the world a poor starter. Get out of here! We all know we need a good start to win, right? How you start isn't the final outcome.  If you keep moving and get yourself in a good position with the right steps, you can still win. How? It's what happens along the way. It's what you do after the start and that's the drive.  

No matter how you start, once you begin you have to keep your head down (focused), body forward and drive, drive, drive. How often do we have a bad start to our day and run up against obstacles? The way out of it is to DRIVE, feed your mind and actions with positive energy and keep moving forward. During your drive phase is not the time to stop and worry about what anyone else is doing, if you're comparing your start to others, then you're out of focus. Your check-in comes later.  

Now, GET TALL! Coming out of your drive phase is when you get tall. It's time to own your power. You can begin to pick up your pace, increase your speed. Your eyes are on the ultimate goal but you know you have a ways to go. This is where you are following your plan. Believe that you can accomplish the goal.... Yes, your product stands head and shoulders above the rest. Yes, you deserve the healthiest body. Yes, your unique gift is needed in the marketplace.  Can you pick up momentum?   

Well, believe it or not, you're half way there!!! Now, it's time to CHECK your position. Where are you in the race? Where are your colleagues (not just competitors)? This is where you find you might need encouragement, because you haven't met your goal yet but you need the cheers of your supporters to keep you fueled and in the race. Allow family... friends... clients... HWHN... to be your cheering squad and know we want you to succeed.  

Up next is your BEAST phase! Dominate your race, know that you've come a long way and you are winning. Others have started and stopped. Many never entered the race. Not only are you here, this is the strongest and most difficult part of your journey. Know that you are in it to win it and we're almost to the finish line.

As you get within arms reach of the finish line, CHECK... again. Many of us look around and say "Can I stop running?" You might be able too, except there is someone or something coming around the bend trying to catch up with you. Don't stop because the next phase is the glory.

You did it! Break the ribbon, draw that breath and do your VICTORY DANCE. You've won! Enjoy the moment and celebrate your win. Yet, here is the thing....there is always another race. Another audacious goal, a new challenge which will be met by a new victory. The last phase is to REPEAT. Bolt, raced again and beat the world record in each division! You have some records to shatter in your own life.   

So let's recap.... 

Eight phases of B.O.L.T...

Start

Drive

Check

Beast

Check, again

Victory Dance 

Repeat  

Each race, each goal begins with the start. Remember this isn't just about competing against others, your best opponent is yourself. Strive to be better than you were yesterday. What have you begun, but not finished? Do you have your cheering squad? Are you expecting to win? My challenge to you is to expect your greatness. B.O.L.T.! Believe in Opportunities to Leverage your Talent!

About the author: Sister Mothyna James-Brightful is a self proclaimed “Self Love Revolutionary”. She has spent the last decade empowering women and girls to live authentic lives. Sister Mothyna is the Visionary Director and Co-founder of Heal a Woman to Heal a Nation. Sister Mothyna is co-author of Because I am a Queen...100 Affirmations for Daily Living and is currently working on her forth coming book Engage.Inspire. Prevent. Educating Teens on Sexual Violence. Stay connected www.hwhn.org: Twitter @mothyna

What Will You Gain When You Lose

I adore the principle of the Kellogg’s Gains Project. You’ve seen the commercials that ask the question “What Will You Gain When You Lose?” The campaign is all about women deserving to feel more beautiful and sharing positive inspiration. While, the campaign takes this personalized approach to weight loss, it makes me think of the weights that hold us back from living freely in mind, spirit and body. What will you gain when lose?  We’re often afraid that to release means that we’ll lose some key part of ourselves. But what would happen if you lose fear? Doubt? Insecurity? Thoughts of Lack? What could we gain by releasing these limits?

I recently had a conversation with a friend who lives on the West Coast. I shared how sometimes it seems like while we work hard, I doubt whether we make the impact that we desire to see in the lives of women. I’m not sure if women “get IT”, that feeling of support, accomplishment and growth. Well, in her unique no nonsense way, she sho’ put me in my place. She helped me to lose so that I could gain.

“Says who?” was her response.  She spoke from her truth, sharing that she’s attended our annual conferences and seminars since 2008. “And not cause I like ya’ miss ma’am.” Well the nerve of her, of course she likes me. Lol! I literally tried to laugh off the conversation. How many times have had awkward moments where we feel vulnerable and want to rush through the experience?

Not with my sister friend, she made me face the scale with her own level of vulnerability. She shared that our events have helped her gain renewed purpose and clarity. Her journal writing and poetry went from a dark place to light and fresh. She is healthier and feels freer to be herself, which affected her family in much the same way. But that’s not all; she’s started a successful businesses based on her passion, has made an awesome connection with a national organization for her emerging business and moved across the country (a long time dream). Her words, “I know it’s a reflection of HWHN.”

Needless to say, I was humbled. Then I felt that emotion rise from my belly and bubble out of my skin…gratitude.  Imagine if I allowed that weight to lay on my mind and heart. Often we don’t move because we’re afraid of being exposed, yet when we do, we can find freedom in that movement and greater joy where fear once lived. What we gain, when we lose is filled with amazing freedoms. The principle of gratitude, no matter! The joy of learning something new! The ability to teach what we’ve learned! The chance to change a life!

What will you gain when you lose this week? You never know the difference you’ll make in the life of another. 

About the Author: Sister Mothyna James-Brightful is a self proclaimed “Self Love Revolutionary”. She has spent the last decade empowering women and girls to live authentic lives. Sister Mothyna is the Visionary Director and Co-founder of Heal a Woman to Heal a Nation. Sister Mothyna is co-author of Because I am a Queen...100 Affirmations for Daily Living. Stay connected www.hwhn.org: Twitter @mothyna

Successful vs Unsuccessful People

Your habits and mindset has a great influence on your success, success with finances and life. The above infographic has been circulating after MaryEllen Tribby posted it on WorkingMomsOnly.com. It goes through some great tips and habits that you should institute if you want to be successful and some that you should drop to avoid not reaching success (notice I didn't say failure). There are definitely some key elements that should be highlighted.

 

1) Continuously gather knowledge and learn things that will help you move forward. When trying to accomplish a goal, learn all that you can about the subject. Learn about the tools and resources available to you to assist with accomplishing your goal. Unsuccessful people don't actively gather information and don't act on the knowledge that they do have. There's a vast amount of information available to help you master your finances and reach financial success. Actively seek it out and apply the knowledge when you acquire it.

2) Giving to others is necessary. Don't horde what you know and don't try to step on others to reach your goals. Many people have a fear of letting others know what they know, of giving to much away. You want others to help and promote you without doing the same for others? It doesn't work that way. Share information and tools and others will be more likely to do the same with you. If you come across a great resource for saving money, cutting costs, etc share the wealth and let others know. 


3) Accept responsibility for your failure. The fact that this is listed on the successful people side of the graphic says a lot. You cannot reach success without some failures. Don't give up in the face of failure. Learn the lesson and use that failure as a stepping stone to do even better. Say you wanted to pay off your debt and made a plan to do so but along came an emergency and you had to incur more debt. Establish an emergency fund so you'll be better prepared next time and move forward.

About the Author: Dr. Maria James
Maria James has a compassion for people that makes her involvement in Heal a Woman to Heal a Nation a sure fit. She is a biomedical scientist who is public health conscience and has always worked for the betterment of others. While an undergraduate student at Johns Hopkins University she co-founded an organization called STOP, which taught basic self-defense to women and children. Her has a passion for diverse communities led her to live in Costa Rica for three weeks to learn more about the culture and community. Maria also continues to pursue her other interests which include, Spanish and finance. Maria also founded the business Pocket of Money, LLC which provides tools and tips to help you take control of your money and live your best life.

Strategic Networking – Building Your Tribe

Do you have a tribe?
 

What I mean by a tribe is the people in your network you can go to for a favor and actually expect it to be granted.

How many relationships can you maintain? You may have 10K followers on Twitter or 5K connections on LinkedIn, but how many do you really know? The number of relationships you can maintain is also known as the Dunbar Number. Evolutionary psychologist Robin Dunbar began a study of the Christmas-card-sending habits of the English and found that they sent on average 153.5 cards each year. The number of 150 has come up over and over in society. The Amish break up communities when they reach 150. Chimpanzee families reach a maximum of 150……

Do you have 150 people in your network that you can go to for a favor?

Last week I wrote about the kinds of people you want in your network:

• Connectors
• Mentors
• Company or Industry Experts
• Peers

Take a moment to locate the LinkedIn profile of everyone you know who could be part of your tribe. Tag each profile in LinkedIn with the category that they fall under.

This may take you a week or more to think of every person and then categorize them.

Do you have 150 in your tribe?

If the answer is no then you have some work to do.

Is there an area where you are weak or have too few?

Time to strategically network to build your tribe

Leverage your network to help you develop those strategic relationships!

What is missing from your network? Too few connectors? Too few company or industry experts? Do you have one or more mentors? Do you need a mentor in a particular skill area?

Develop a list of people who you would like to meet. Who in your network knows them well enough to make an introduction? I always want an introduction to a new connection. Think of this in sales terminology as a warm lead.

Once you have an introduction, schedule either a face-to-face meeting over a cup of coffee or, if they are not local, on the phone.

What will you ask for?

You will ask for A-I-R – Advice, Insights and Recommendations.

The magic word is advice! When you ask for advice, you will rarely be turned down. It is a compliment. Ask for their insights and then ask for their recommendations. Who else should I meet? Can you make an introduction?

If you will make one outreach a week, you will find that your tribe will grow naturally and strategically.

Do you know who is in your tribe?

Do you need to grow your tribe?

About Marc Miller

Marc Miller is the founder of Career Pivot which helps Baby Boomers design careers they can grow into for the next 30 years. Marc authored the book Repurpose Your Career: A Practical Guide for Baby Boomers published in January 2013, which has been featured on Forbes.com, US News and World Report, CBS Money-Watch and PBS’ Next Avenue. Career Pivot was selected for the Forbes Top 100 Websites for your Career. Marc has made six career pivots himself, serving in several positions at IBM in addition to working at two successful Austin, Texas startups, teaching math in an inner-city high school and working for a local non-profit. Learn more about Marc and Career Pivot by visiting the Career Pivot Blog.