How Women Network Differently Than Men

HOW WOMEN NETWORK DIFFERENTLY THAN MEN

BY LORNA VAN STRAATEN

*AS ORIGINALLY POSTED ON HTTP://SMALLBUSINESSBC.CA/*

POSTED:

JULY 28, 2014UPDATED:FEBRUARY 12, 2015

“Being the boss anywhere is lonely. Being a female boss in a world of mostly men is especially so.”- Robert Frost. 

Women networking events are commonplace these days. Women attend these events in droves, and express excitement about the opportunity to connect with other women in business. But, why are these events so successful? And how do women network differently than men?

For the past several years, Cathy Goddard of Lighthouse Visionary Strategies, top 10 finalist in the 2013 SBBC Awards, has run women’s mentor groups in Whistler, BC and the Sea to Sky Corridor. Her groups bring together women entrepreneurs and intrapreneurs (women in senior decision-making positions in companies) into handpicked groups. In the safety of these groups women are encouraged to set business goals, design strategy and explore their business challenges. With the mentoring and input from other group members women work to advance their business skills and results. Lighthouse Visionary Strategies has recently added business men to the groups, uniquely qualifying Cathy to comment to the issue of whether or not women network differently from men?

Cathy offers several observations based in her experience of women vs. women networking in business: “I do believe that women network quite differently from men. Men generally go into networking opportunities with more clarity of what they want to achieve and with focus solely on their professional needs. 

On the other hand, women often take a selfless approach and are more apt to consider what they have to give others. They also tend to seek advice for both personal and business requirements…whether recommendations for a hair stylist or a graphic designer. 

One other differentiator I’ve noticed is that women hesitate to ask for what they want, whereas men are more comfortable making direct demands.”

While both men and women run successful businesses, there are differences between the sexes that do affect how day to day business is conducted. These differences are also evidenced in how women like to network with each other, and what they get from it. As Robert Frost noted, running a business is challenging and often lonely work, especially so for women who are often emotionally wired for connection.

A large component in networking is the process of women creating connections with each other.

Four Differences in the Way Men and Women Network

1. Men are Assertive and Linear

Many men networking are often linear in approach. Who is at the meeting who is related to their industry, who can they meet or connect with that can help position them or move them ahead in their chosen field. Men approach others that will be customers or clients of their business, or will act as a supplier. They are more assertive in their approach, and according to Cathy Goddard, less afraid to ask for what they want. 

2. Women Connect on Multiple Levels:

I run a small women entrepreneur/mompreneurs networking and business training group called Mom CEO Academy in Squamish. While many of the women are interested in learning more about business and how to improve their own, they also want to share the personal challenges they face in running both a business and maintaining family at the same time. A large component in networking is the process of women creating connections with each other.

Women connect to each other through children, family, business challenges, successes and a desire to mentor upcoming business women. In a women’s networking group, women feel safe to express how they FEEL about their work/life challenges and look to other women with similar experiences for support and advice. 

3. Women are Wired to Connect

Women are wired to connect and can be natural networkers. They often play a primary role to support and nurture in the family setting. In watching women at a networking event, you see that they are asking questions, coaching and encouraging. In my experience women want to see other women succeed. While they do acknowledge competitors, they prefer to build capacity over competition. In some cases I have also seen women try to work with their competitors, finding ways in which the two businesses can align to mutual benefit.

4. The Queen Bee is Not a Networker

According to Drew Gannon blog for the The Fiscal Times “How Men and Women Differ in the Workplace”, men in business exhibit more behaviour like aggressiveness, and show skill in delegating and managing up, but women leaders are typically judged as more supportive and rewarding. Women also rank higher in persuasiveness and assertiveness, compassion and team building.

This is not to say there are not competitive and non-supportive women. There are women who will model their business personality after what are considered traditional masculine attributes. Such women have been written about as having the ‘Queen Bee’ syndrome. Queen Bees are women who will not promote or support other women working with them. Competitive and unwilling to mentor other women beneath them, the Queen Bee can be cut-throat. 

As Caroline Turner, author of Difference Works: Improving Retention, Productivity and Profitability through Inclusion commented in a feature on Forbes.com, “Among negative things said about women is that they are catty, sabotage each other or simply do not extend a hand to other women through mentoring. Some commentators have suggested that women’s failure to support other women is one reason there aren’t more women at the top.”

I have experienced women in business that exhibit competitive and hostile behaviours, however, over many years of networking with women have found this to be the exception not the norm. Women are generally still fighting to define their place in the world of business. By connecting and networking with peers they are validating their important role and also beating the loneliness that can come from being a woman in business.

Lorna Van Straaten Consulting works to ‘Connect Entrepreneurs with Opportunity’. As a Social Media Maven for the Over 40’s set, she works with small businesses entrepreneurs to establish or improve their online presence. On any given day you will find her working on websites, social media, copywriting, blogging and introducing other business people to her global Nucerity business. Lorna also runs the Squamish chapter of Mom CEO Academy, connecting mompreneurs and business women together in business training.

Find her on Linked-In, Twitter, Facebook and Pinterest. 

5 Ways to Keep It (Professionally) Gangsta at Work

5 Ways to Keep It (Professionally) Gangsta at Work

By Sonia Alleyne

*This blog is courtesy of 
Black Enterprise.com

When I interviewed Renetta McCann in 2003 as Black Enterprise’s Corporate Executive of the Year, the now former CEO of Starcom MediaVest Group in Chicago was, at the time, the only Black woman to hold the chief executive seat at a major firm. When asked about influences in her career, one seemed strikingly odd–it was Don Corleone, the central character in the classic book and movie The Godfather. McCann said following his guidelines were instrumental in her climb to the top. Here are her five takeaways from the infamously celebrated mob boss that women can use in the workplace.

He surrounded himself with good advisors. In corporate-speak these are your mentors and sponsors. Interested, high-level professionals who respectively advise you and advocate for you in advancing your career. Despite disparities between men and women in rate of promotion and salary a 2010 Catalyst survey called Mentoring: Necessary But Insufficient for Advancement, cited that women with a mentor increased their odds of being placed at mid-manager or above by 56% over women without a mentor and women who had mentors at the top got promoted at the same rate as men who had mentors at the top.

He knew his opponents. In the workforce opponents can be competitive challengers in the marketplace with products and services that rival yours. To be successful it’s important to understand and determine how to deliver the highest value to clients and customers. But opponents are also real and perceived challenges at work attributed to an organization’s culture–the idiosyncrasies or unwritten rules of how a company functions. The only way to develop successful strategies and strong allies is to structure your goals in line with how your company operates. Mentors are essential to helping you decipher the company codes.

He worked on quid pro quo. This is your network. And although everyone knows the importance of networking, the focus should really be on network building–strategically developing strong and lasting relationships with professionals in your organization and throughout the industry. At the foundation of network building is reciprocal service: you helping someone, who will in turn be able to help you. The Executive Leadership Council’s report Black Women Executive Research Initiative completed in 2008 sites that of the 150 senior level executives surveyed 31% said that lack of networking was hindering the advancement of black women in the workplace. Because minority women tend to be more private at work, it negatively impacts the potential to develop the informal relationships that happen more naturally for white men and women. These are the relationships that can often be instrumental in furthering your professional goals.

He never made a move before his time This speaks to being prepared for when opportunity presents itself and truly knowing your capabilities. In today’s fast-paced environment it’s important to stay ahead of market trends and continually upgrade your expertise. But this also speaks to knowing what internal battles to fight, which ties to understanding the nature of your organization. A Black female executive once told me that her biggest lesson was learning when to be quiet. “There are times when you speak and there are times when you [should] be quiet,” she offered. “Sometimes, you got to just sit back and listen and not be ready to respond, but just listen. Even if you take a moment and then come back to it, it’s okay.”

Never get emotional. Emotion prevents you from thinking clearly and objectively because the situations become personal. It also increases your stress levels making you vulnerable to rash decisions and retaliatory or defensive behavior. It totally throws you off center and you lose sight of the problems and focus on personalities. As McCann explained at work, “a friend today is a foe tomorrow.” It is sometimes just the nature of business. Those who can, as Aetna Chairman and CEO Ron Williams mandates, “focus on the problem; not the person,” will find greater success at work. Sonny was the emotional character in The Godfather–and he was killed!

http://www.blackenterprise.com/career/5-ways-to-keep-it-professionally-gangsta-at-work-2/

Strategic Networking – Building Your Tribe

Do you have a tribe?
 

What I mean by a tribe is the people in your network you can go to for a favor and actually expect it to be granted.

How many relationships can you maintain? You may have 10K followers on Twitter or 5K connections on LinkedIn, but how many do you really know? The number of relationships you can maintain is also known as the Dunbar Number. Evolutionary psychologist Robin Dunbar began a study of the Christmas-card-sending habits of the English and found that they sent on average 153.5 cards each year. The number of 150 has come up over and over in society. The Amish break up communities when they reach 150. Chimpanzee families reach a maximum of 150……

Do you have 150 people in your network that you can go to for a favor?

Last week I wrote about the kinds of people you want in your network:

• Connectors
• Mentors
• Company or Industry Experts
• Peers

Take a moment to locate the LinkedIn profile of everyone you know who could be part of your tribe. Tag each profile in LinkedIn with the category that they fall under.

This may take you a week or more to think of every person and then categorize them.

Do you have 150 in your tribe?

If the answer is no then you have some work to do.

Is there an area where you are weak or have too few?

Time to strategically network to build your tribe

Leverage your network to help you develop those strategic relationships!

What is missing from your network? Too few connectors? Too few company or industry experts? Do you have one or more mentors? Do you need a mentor in a particular skill area?

Develop a list of people who you would like to meet. Who in your network knows them well enough to make an introduction? I always want an introduction to a new connection. Think of this in sales terminology as a warm lead.

Once you have an introduction, schedule either a face-to-face meeting over a cup of coffee or, if they are not local, on the phone.

What will you ask for?

You will ask for A-I-R – Advice, Insights and Recommendations.

The magic word is advice! When you ask for advice, you will rarely be turned down. It is a compliment. Ask for their insights and then ask for their recommendations. Who else should I meet? Can you make an introduction?

If you will make one outreach a week, you will find that your tribe will grow naturally and strategically.

Do you know who is in your tribe?

Do you need to grow your tribe?

About Marc Miller

Marc Miller is the founder of Career Pivot which helps Baby Boomers design careers they can grow into for the next 30 years. Marc authored the book Repurpose Your Career: A Practical Guide for Baby Boomers published in January 2013, which has been featured on Forbes.com, US News and World Report, CBS Money-Watch and PBS’ Next Avenue. Career Pivot was selected for the Forbes Top 100 Websites for your Career. Marc has made six career pivots himself, serving in several positions at IBM in addition to working at two successful Austin, Texas startups, teaching math in an inner-city high school and working for a local non-profit. Learn more about Marc and Career Pivot by visiting the Career Pivot Blog. 

18 Ways To Follow Up After A Networking Event

We say it at each networking event, what’s the diamond in networking.  Follow up, Follow up, Follow up! Check out these amazing tips in this yummy article from Lisa Rangel, Managing Director at Chameleon Resumes with 18 ways to follow up after a networking event.

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18 Ways To Follow Up After A Networking Event

By Lisa Rangel

 According to the latest study from CareerXRoads, more than 27% of external hires in America are from referrals. In fact, it’s the top external source of hires today.

According to the New York Times, 65% of new business comes from referrals. A Nielsen Study cited clients are four times more likely to buy when being referred from someone they know and trust.

So we know why we network, but what do you do to follow up after a networking event? After all, It’s what you do after the event that matters, as that is where the real work begins!  Here are some suggestions of what to do:

1)     Google their name – You’d be amazed at what you can find by Googling a person. You can find additional information to help you with reasons to connect—or not to do so. This info can help with all steps on this list.

2)     Make notes on what happened at the event, record your thoughts and create a list of actions to implement.

3)     Write an email indicating that you enjoyed meeting them and why it makes sense to keep chatting.

4)     Start a dialogue to stay in touch, if no need to meet—ask them what they thought of the event via email.

5)     Connect with a LinkedIn invitation including a note that you enjoyed meeting at the event where you met.

6)     Via email, suggest a 15-minute phone call, be clear on the purpose and how it can benefit you both to do so.

7)     Here’s a novel idea:  just call the person…indicate that you enjoyed meeting them and would like to keep the conversation going. Ask if they prefer to schedule a phone chat or coffee meeting as a follow-up.

8)     Propose a face-to-face meeting over coffee right out of the gate with contacts that have the most potential, who interest you most, or simply where it makes sense.  Show interest in what they do and who they are.

9)     Follow the person on Twitter. This can provide real time data to improve the content of your communication.

10)   If you see a personal connection outside of work and/or it makes sense, connect on Facebook.

11)   Do not automatically add them to any email list you may have! Instead, send an email asking if they would like to join your email list since you thought, based on your conversation, the content may be of interest. Don’t spam!

12)   Enter the information into your contact management system. A contact made today, may not bring you  business today, but that person may be the resource you needed (or needed you) for a situation in the future.

13)   Look to influence. See how you can introduce two people who can help each other and ask to make that introduction…it’s good karma, as you are always remembered as the person who made the introduction.

14)   Thank the host of the event—a great way to start a connection that you did not have before.

15)   Ideally make contact within 48 hours, but don’t fail to reach out if it is later than that timeframe. I have reached out 6 months after the initial meeting and have it turn out well—but this is not recommended at all!!

16)   Look for people who can influence your business or job search—not just give you business or hire you. Influencers are more impactful than direct clients or hiring managers, since they introduce many opportunities.

17)   Search for collaborators and joint venture partners. The best way to grow is by collaborating with others.

18)   Send an article or book reference in an email or snail mail. This will show that you listened to the conversation.

Networking can take time and energy if you let it, or it can be integrated into your daily activities with a simple change in mindset to be more effortless. A small, consistent investment of time each week can pay off huge dividends in the future for you and your network.  Take some of the actions above and see the good that happens….Good luck!