Successful vs Unsuccessful People

Your habits and mindset has a great influence on your success, success with finances and life. The above infographic has been circulating after MaryEllen Tribby posted it on WorkingMomsOnly.com. It goes through some great tips and habits that you should institute if you want to be successful and some that you should drop to avoid not reaching success (notice I didn't say failure). There are definitely some key elements that should be highlighted.

 

1) Continuously gather knowledge and learn things that will help you move forward. When trying to accomplish a goal, learn all that you can about the subject. Learn about the tools and resources available to you to assist with accomplishing your goal. Unsuccessful people don't actively gather information and don't act on the knowledge that they do have. There's a vast amount of information available to help you master your finances and reach financial success. Actively seek it out and apply the knowledge when you acquire it.

2) Giving to others is necessary. Don't horde what you know and don't try to step on others to reach your goals. Many people have a fear of letting others know what they know, of giving to much away. You want others to help and promote you without doing the same for others? It doesn't work that way. Share information and tools and others will be more likely to do the same with you. If you come across a great resource for saving money, cutting costs, etc share the wealth and let others know. 

3) Accept responsibility for your failure. The fact that this is listed on the successful people side of the graphic says a lot. You cannot reach success without some failures. Don't give up in the face of failure. Learn the lesson and use that failure as a stepping stone to do even better. Say you wanted to pay off your debt and made a plan to do so but along came an emergency and you had to incur more debt. Establish an emergency fund so you'll be better prepared next time and move forward.

About the Author: Dr. Maria James
Maria James has a compassion for people that makes her involvement in Heal a Woman to Heal a Nation a sure fit. She is a biomedical scientist who is public health conscience and has always worked for the betterment of others. While an undergraduate student at Johns Hopkins University she co-founded an organization called STOP, which taught basic self-defense to women and children. Her has a passion for diverse communities led her to live in Costa Rica for three weeks to learn more about the culture and community. Maria also continues to pursue her other interests which include, Spanish and finance. Maria also founded the business Pocket of Money, LLC which provides tools and tips to help you take control of your money and live your best life.

What Happened to our Queens?

A few weeks ago, a guy posted a question on Instagram asking, “What happened to my queens?”  And my response to him was, “They tried too hard to become Kings so that the Kings would pay them attention and mistakenly became Harlots because they saw that the Kings preferred them.”  I call this “The Mirror Effect”.  It’s where a woman mirrors a man’s behavior in hopes that he will then mirror hers in return.  But what us women (yes me included) don’t understand is that while we move on emotion, men move on logic and reason.  If something is working in their favor, they won’t see a reason to change.  Let me give you an example: Man and woman meet, man says to woman, “I don’t want a relationship, I just want friends, maybe even a cut buddy from time to time.” Woman agrees (Mirrors him). Man and woman start hanging out and woman gives man some “cut”.  Woman really starts to like man and starts to do things for man to show him that she is feeling him.  In the back of woman’s mind, she is hoping that man is changing his mind and wanting more just as she has (hopes he mirrors her).  But what woman fails to realize is man is getting what he wants and therefore sees no reason to change.  Now this is not the case in every situation; there have been plenty of healthy relationships where this “practice” has worked in the woman’s favor.   But let me serve as a voice of reason to my ladies; the way to a man’s heart is NOT through YOUR vagina.  Fortunately or unfortunately; however you may look at it, men are wired differently.  Their natural instinct is to procreate that is why they are able to separate sex from their emotions.  IF THEY CHOOSE TO.  We are not conditioned in this regard.  Now I understand that some of the blame should be put on them as well, but it’s time for us women to have accountability for our own actions and stop pointing the finger elsewhere when we have the power to change our lives.  I know some of the blame can go to our fathers for not being there and some to our mothers for not knowing how to give us that paternal love but at some point in our lives, we must take a look at what we are doing to cause the strife in our lives. 

We gotta get back to the days where the men were the pursuers because the women knew their value and wouldn’t allow for anything less.  “(S)he who chooses, holds the power”.  Ladies, we gotta get our power back. We have to understand that we have the power, yes fellas THE POWER; to make a man do ANYTHING we want him to without him laying one finger on our body.  My mother used to always tell me, “Never reveal all your cards to a man up front.”  We must keep an air of mystery ladies, keep them guessing, keep them engaged.  Not being so available.  We need to remove the mirrors from his face and place them in front of our own.  We must get back to making ourselves happy first.  Not compromising our Queendom just to emulate his supreme when his duties as King are different than our own.

I know that our Queens are still out there and I have faith that we can gain our power back and once again reign supreme.

Tiera Gray

Tiera has launched her Love Sex & Baggage movement in hopes to bridge the gap between men and women and help destroy the myths that each sex has in regards to each other. This movement is meant to inspire, intrigue, and provoke all your senses and evoke change in your love life. She has also launched her highly anticipated new web series, “The Amazing Woman’s Guide to Loving Her Single Life” on the Love Sex & Baggage You Tube channel which takes a modern day look at single women today trying to navigate their way through dating.

Her next book, “The Girl in the Uhaul” is scheduled to release August 2016!

To see or hear more of what Tiera Nicole has going on, check her out:
http://www.facebook.com/iamtieranicole
http://www.youtube.com/lovesexbaggage
Instagram- @Iam_TieraNicole

How to Start Over Without Regret

  

Let's face it: sometimes our best plans and intentions don't work and we find ourselves back at square one. It is during these time that we feel like a failure and we want to give up. I remember starting my coaching business over 10 years ago and struggling with identifying my target market and marketing my services. I had a fancy website and no customers coming through the door, and my cash register was not ringing at all. I felt like a failure and that my "dream job" had steered me in the wrong direction. I decided that quitting wasn't my answer, but instead I needed to start over.

"But where do I start?" I asked myself over and over again. We've all had to start over in some area of our lives like our career, marriage, business, education, diet, etc. It is so easy to revel in the disbelief of the disappointment that we forget the power of pursuing what is next on the horizon if we keep moving.

Here are my seven reminders on How to Start Over Without Regret:

1. Leverage your failures.

Instead of quitting when things don't work out, leverage the learning from your failures. Ask yourself, "What is working or what did work in my situation or circumstance?" Write down even the small things that are your successes.

When things don't go as planned, we often have the all-or-nothing attitude but instead, I want you to do more of what IS working. In my case, I was great at networking, but I was networking in the wrong locations with younger entrepreneurs and not attracting my ideal clients. What was working for me was networking, but I needed to change venues to network with professional women who could afford my services instead of marketing to women who were in startup businesses.

2. Dump your junk.

Don't bring your old attitude and expect to create new outcomes. It's tough not to fault the things, people and reactions that have hurt you or caused you to start over, but if your goal is to start fresh, you can't do that reading yesterday's news. Dump your junk and move on and decide that it doesn't matter why it didn't work; it only matters that you have decided you deserve more in this new season of your life. Decide to give your new season a fresh start without baggage. (This one takes practice.)

3. Don't announce that you are starting over. Just do it.

You don't need to validate your choices to make a change in your life. Just do it. Nike said it best. Move on and everyone around you will soon see the change in your life. Your next steps aren't about anyone but you being comfortable with your new choices and this new season. No public polls necessary. When we are insecure about our future we often consult others so that we feel better or to prepare them for our shift. This isn't required or necessary.

4. Recycle what worked.

Don't discard everything that represents the failed marriage, job/career, etc. Instead, recycle the gifts that these experiences taught you. Even bad experiences start off good. So ask yourself, "What did I love about this experience and what would I never do again?" Use this restart opportunity as motivation to begin again wiser and stronger, and use your bag of tools called "learning lessons" as a result of your experience.

5. Prepare for your weak times.

Plan in advance for those times when you will feel like going back to what did not work for you and create a solution in advance. It might mean that you delete phone numbers to prevent yourself from calling people in your weakest moments. It might mean not buying sweets for the house if you know that stress will make you eat more than your share. Whatever you do, plan for your weakest moments in advance. We all have moments where we vacillate between what is best for us and what is easy for us to have now. Challenge your "now" and replace it with what you want to see in your life long term.

6. Celebrate your baby steps.

Remember to acknowledge all progress toward your new goal. Sometimes, we set milestones that are too far away instead of understanding that the long run is just a bunch of short runs, and that we can and should celebrate along the way. If you sell that business at a loss, celebrate that you are no longer attached to it. If you end a toxic friendship that lacked trust, rejoice that you now have room to create authentic new relationships.

7. Take a new route.

The unknown is scary, but it is also equally scary to do what you know and continue down a dismal path. Give yourself permission to play bigger although you are starting over. So often when we start over we become timid and afraid to swing for the fences because we are so busy recovering from an intimate dance with failure. Understand that success is built on mistakes and lessons learned. You can still have what you want even if you didn't get what you wanted in the past.

8. Keep moving.

Standing still is the recipe for disaster. I want you to move and try something different to change your view. As you move toward your new vision for your life, you will meet new people, opportunities and experiences waiting for you to play full out. I'm writing this column on The Huffington Post because I attended an event and had the privilege to introduce myself to Arianna Huffington and share my work with her, and as a result, learned about this opportunity. What if I decided to stay home that day and not attend that networking event? You wouldn't be reading this post.

9. Learn from your haters.

Yes them. What others think of you really isn't your business so stop replaying that track. The people who study, watch and obsess over you know how powerful you are and that is why they are threatened by you. Instead of asking yourself, "Why do they hate on me?" Ask yourself, "What do they see in me?" It is the answer to this questions that will allow you to elevate this energy and understand that your haters are there to teach you a very important lesson. They see your talent, brilliance and potential sometimes more than you do.

Starting over is inevitable. Share with me how you are planning your new start.

About the Author:

Mia Redrick is a popular speaker, strategy coach for moms, and a best-selling author of Time for Mom-Me:5 Essential Strategies for A Mother's Self-Care and Time for Mom-Me: 365 Daily Strategies for a Mother's Self-Care. She also co-authored Finding Time to Care for Me: A Nurse's Guide to Self-Care. Affectionately known as The Mom Strategist™, Redrick has reached thousands, both nationally and internationally, with her empowering message for moms that "self-care is non-negotiable but necessary to be the best parent possible."

***This Article was originally posted on Huffington Post***

Success Isn't for the Weak

Whether you have owned a business for years, just starting one, or a leader in some way, we all have strengths and weaknesses.  As I described in my book, Max Out I Want It All, strengths are the traits that help you excel in your talents and weaknesses are the traits that hinder your progress with your talents. One way in planning for success in the gifted area you lead is getting to know you. Until you are real with yourself, you are unable to help and lead others. When you can identify your weaknesses you will no longer be blind to the things that hinder you from your business goals. The reason these traits are so important with identifying yourself as a person and a leader is because are key elements in the outlook of your success.

Two ways you can minimize your weaknesses are:

1. Act on your Gift - How do you act on your talent? Acting on your gifts with your strengths is what will bring you the desired success. Operating through your weaknesses is a door opener for a weight to hold you back. Weaknesses build obstacles that keep you from your potential! Acting with your strengths will make the process to a maxed out life less tedious.

2. Set Goals - Setting goals is so important because that is a great way to act on your gift! Doing this, you are able to see the areas where you are weak. What is that is keeping you from maxing out your life? Are you great at what you do, but find yourself having trouble getting customers because you are advertising? Everyone specializes in something! This will help you identify what you are spending so much time in that it is actually keeping you from reaching your goals.

Your time is so precious. People are waiting for YOU to change their lives! You will not be heard if you are letting your weaknesses waste your time. Focusing on your strengths will keep you positive and confident. Your weaknesses are signs of struggle that open a gate for fear. So, use your strengths as stepping stones to MaxOUT your life! This is your season to go BIG! I would love to help you Maxout your life and business!

Author: Zenovia is a highly sought after Speaker, Author, Business Development Strategist and TV/Radio Personality.  She is the Founder and CEO of Max Out, Inc., a successful company committed to empowering, and revitalize women to discover their purpose and walk in their divine destiny in Life while radically “Maxing Out” their unparalleled potential regardless of the obstacles or challenges in their way. Zenovia will be joining us as a presenter for the 2014 Unlimited U Conference, April 12, 2014.