Coach Felicia: 'What or Who Is Behind Your Decisions?'

Coach Felicia

Photo Credit: Keith Major

originally featured on essence.com

A few weeks ago, I laid down to catch a quick nap. Immediately, my three-year-old niece crawled on to the bed and draped her little body across mine. As she rested her head on my back, I grabbed my phone and took my first selfie ever! The back of her head and those little pom-pom ponytails bring a smile to my face every time I see them.

Though I wanted to rest, I couldn’t—primarily because it is hard to drift off with nearly thirty pounds on your back and secondly because I didn’t want to make any moves that might hurt her. And, asking her to move wasn’t an option, because I know that one day she might not think “Mauntie” is the coolest thing since sliced bread or feel too grown to snuggle up with me.

As we lay there, her watching TV and me savoring the moment, I thought about the fact that there have been many times in my life when I wanted to throw in the proverbial towel and just quit. Sometimes I wanted to stop working hard and at others I wanted to quit doing the right thing and just do whatever I wanted. Most times, I made the right choice...most!

As I look back at the moments when I was able to falter, but not fall, I find that one of the things that helped me to make the best decision is the fact that I know there are people looking up to me.

Regardless of who you are, your life makes a difference to someone. There will be times when people only believe in something more or different, because of your example. While we never want to be the source of someone’s faith, we must take responsibility for the influence we wield. There are moments when we may want to do what is least painful, or easiest, on our emotions—even when it isn’t for the best. When we face those turning points, we must factor a few things into our decision-making:

1. Identifying the Real Problem: Failure to acknowledge the “real” problem only makes matters worse. My client Georgia once called me in literal tears over her affair with a married man. Besides operating outside of her own character, the affair was only compounding her root issue—the loneliness that led her into it! We want to take actions that move us in a forward direction. Sometimes we get frustrated because life doesn’t change, but the real problem is that we haven’t made different types of decisions.

2. Identifying Our Standards: When we know our standards, certain behaviors, relationships and decisions cease to be an option. Sometimes we feel overwhelmed by the emotions of the moment because we root our decisions in our feelings, not in the concrete of what we are looking for or expect from life.

3. Identifying the Exchange: In order to get one thing, we have to give up another. When we choose a path in life, we close the door or limit the options another path may have offered. All actions and decisions have consequences. We must make sure that whatever we get is worth what we will give up. Otherwise, we’ll be angry and regretful.

Do Your Work: Whether it is purchasing a new appliance or taking a new job, the pros and cons list works wonders. Spend time on your list today. Let me help you make decisions to win, visit coachfelicia.com/coaching-session to qualify for a free laser session valued at $397.

Define Your Wealth: Affirm out loud, “I choose the road of wisdom and character everyday!”

About the  Author: Named the “North America’s Next Greatest Speaker” by eWomenNetwork, Coach Felicia is a Certified Empowerment Coach™ who empowers her clients to "Turn their Worth into Wealth" as she partners with them to DISCOVER their WORTH, DO the WORK and DEFINE their WEALTH. Get more insight, download the FREE “8 Choices Winners Must Make” seminar MP3 on her website.