I Spoke Death... and Almost Shook His Hand

We hear it often: “Life and death lie in the power of the tongue,” or “Your words create your world.” How about this one: “As a man thinks, so is he”? At some point in our lives, we are told that we have to be mindful of what we are saying and speaking over our lives, because it can birth amazing things or horrible things in our lives. These amazing thought provoking and true quotes took on an entirely new reality for me recently. At the beginning of this

month, I celebrated my 28th birthday. This year, I have experienced some amazing, but uncomfortable, transitions. The most recent started with being terminated from my job back in May. It was definitely a huge blow to my ego, but even with a wounded ego, I decided to look at all this time, which was now all mine, as an opportunity to do all I wanted to do. I decided to start my virtual support business, where I help entrepreneurs get organized and productive, minimize stress, and increase revenue through project management and social media management. In the midst of this new entrepreneurial journey I was embarking on, the blows of life started hitting me harder; bills began to pile up, and I was about to lose my car and my home. I overcame those obstacles, but then depression started to set in. I started second-guessing myself and questioning if I could even run a business. Fear set in and anxiety rose.

Recently, I reached the darkest moment along my journey on August 6, 2015. I opened my eyes about 6am, and my first thought of the day … “I just want to die.” In that moment, I felt like there was no hope for me to make it as an entrepreneur. I felt like I just wasn’t cut out for life. I felt like I was in sinking sand, and I was slowly drowning in the mess I created of a life. I couldn’t see a way out; I didn’t want to see the way out. I just wanted to die. And little did I know, in my meditation on this desire to die, I was birthing it. The next day, my birthday, I felt a little better, but not 100%. I went out that evening with friends; we laughed, we ate, we drank, and we were merry. Then suddenly, I blacked out. From what my friends say, I started vomiting uncontrollably and kept requesting to go to the hospital. I got in the ambulance, and the EMT kept trying to give me water, and I kept refusing it. I got to the hospital, and I was told that I had alcohol poisoning. My veins kept collapsing, because I was so dehydrated and malnourished. All during this time, while I was passed out, all I could hear was God saying to me, “C, you have to trust me with your entire your life. If you don’t, you will lose your life.”  I kept saying to Him, “But God, I’m afraid, I’m afraid. Help me not to be afraid.” Then I woke up to my mom at the foot of my hospital bed. Upon awakening, with vital signs back to normal, I was cleared to go home. It hadn’t dawned on me, until after I reviewed my lab results and toxicity report, of how close to death I really was. You see, the toxicity level of ethanol in my body was 163 (normal levels are 0 to 3). After my friend explained to me what that meant, I realized I really could have died. It was all because I was not being intentional and immediately responding to the thoughts of wanting to die that I was thinking the day before. Not only did this experience reteach me the valuable lesson of being intentional with my thoughts and words, but it also reminded me of what a merciful and loving God I serve. Even in a dark moment, where I was thinking destruction and speaking it, He did not allow me to destroy myself!

I challenge you to take a moment and think about the world you are creating with your words.  Think about who you are allowing to create your world with their words. Think about what mindset you have at this moment. Is it a fixed mindset stuck on what seemingly can’t be changed or a growth mindset using your obstacles as an opportunity to overcome and win? My final challenge to you is this; after every statement you make, say aloud, “And that’s just the way I like it.” For example, you would say, “I am great, and that’s just the way I like it!” or “I am tired and broke, and that’s just the way I like it.” Notice the latter statement. I’m 100% sure NO ONE likes to be tired and broke! So, I implore you to stop saying it! Stop saying “I give up.” Stop saying, “I can’t do it.” Just stop.  If that’s not how you like it or how you want your life to be then you shouldn’t speak it (whatever IT is for you). And the moment you start to think it, shift your mindset by speaking aloud something positive over yourself. Did you know you can’t think and speak at the same time? So, any time a negative thought comes, open your mouth (yes, talk to yourself) and speak a positive statement over your life and/or situation.

Don’t allow the trial(s) you are experiencing to break you, Sis. We are victors! We persevere, we fight, and we win! Let’s purpose to win mentally and emotionally so that we can ensure we are not creating our chaos because of what we are thinking and speaking.

********************************************************************************************************

 Ciera J. is a worship leader and motivational speaker. Ciera launched two of her own ministry assignments, one called, Radical Worshipper Ministries, the purpose of this ministry effort is to ignite a fire in God’s people to boldly go out and do what He has called them to do effectively and freely; without allowing anything to hold them back.  The other, Ms. Ciera J. -The Empowerment Chic; this endeavor serves as the avenue of which Ciera will present books, blogs, and music for the uplifting of God’s Kingdom.

Ciera is currently working on her first book entitled “Breaking the Chains of Insecurity,” which is set to be released Fall 2015. She is also a member of Heal a Woman to Heal a Nation, a nonprofit organization dedicated to train women leaders to serve women and young girls around the world. Ciera currently resides in Baltimore, MD and has recently started her own virtual assistant and marketing management company entitled, Your Genius Support. 

How Leaders Create and Use Networks

By Herminia Ibarra and Mark Lee Hunter From the January 2007 Issue of the Harvard Business Review

            

When Henrik Balmer became the production manager and a board member of a newly bought-out cosmetics firm, improving his network was the last thing on his mind. The main problem he faced was time: Where would he find the hours to guide his team through a major upgrade of the production process and then think about strategic issues like expanding the business? The only way he could carve out time and still get home to his family at a decent hour was to lock himself—literally—in his office. Meanwhile, there were day-to-day issues to resolve, like a recurring conflict with his sales director over custom orders that compromised production efficiency. Networking, which Henrik defined as the unpleasant task of trading favors with strangers, was a luxury he could not afford. But when a new acquisition was presented at a board meeting without his input, he abruptly realized he was out of the loop—not just inside the company, but outside, too—at a moment when his future in the company was at stake.

Henrik’s case is not unusual. Over the past two years, we have been following a cohort of 30 managers making their way through what we call the leadership transition, an inflection point in their careers that challenges them to rethink both themselves and their roles. In the process, we’ve found that networking—creating a fabric of personal contacts who will provide support, feedback, insight, resources, and information—is simultaneously one of the most self-evident and one of the most dreaded developmental challenges that aspiring leaders must address.

Their discomfort is understandable. Typically, managers rise through the ranks by dint of a strong command of the technical elements of their jobs and a nose-to-the-grindstone focus on accomplishing their teams’ objectives. When challenged to move beyond their functional specialties and address strategic issues facing the overall business, many managers do not immediately grasp that this will involve relational—not analytical—tasks. Nor do they easily understand that exchanges and interactions with a diverse array of current and potential stakeholders are not distractions from their “real work” but are actually at the heart of their new leadership roles.

Like Henrik (whose identity we’ve disguised, along with all the other managers we describe here), a majority of the managers we work with say that they find networking insincere or manipulative—at best, an elegant way of using people. Not surprisingly, for every manager who instinctively constructs and maintains a useful network, we see several who struggle to overcome this innate resistance. Yet the alternative to networking is to fail—either in reaching for a leadership position or in succeeding at it.

Watching our emerging leaders approach this daunting task, we discovered that three distinct but interdependent forms of networking—operational, personal, and strategic—played a vital role in their transitions. The first helped them manage current internal responsibilities, the second boosted their personal development, and the third opened their eyes to new business directions and the stakeholders they would need to enlist. While our managers differed in how well they pursued operational and personal networking, we discovered that almost all of them underutilized strategic networking. In this article, we describe key features of each networking form (summarized in the exhibit “The Three Forms of Networking”) and, using our managers’ experiences, explain how a three-pronged networking strategy can become part and parcel of a new leader’s development plan.

 The Three Forms of Networking Managers who think they are adept at networking are often operating only at an operational or personal level. Effective leaders learn to employ networks for strategic purposes.

Operational Networking

All managers need to build good working relationships with the people who can help them do their jobs. The number and breadth of people involved can be impressive—such operational networks include not only direct reports and superiors but also peers within an operational unit, other internal players with the power to block or support a project, and key outsiders such as suppliers, distributors, and customers. The purpose of this type of networking is to ensure coordination and cooperation among people who have to know and trust one another in order to accomplish their immediate tasks. That isn’t always easy, but it is relatively straightforward, because the task provides focus and a clear criterion for membership in the network: Either you’re necessary to the job and helping to get it done, or you’re not.


Although operational networking was the form that came most naturally to the managers we studied, nearly every one had important blind spots regarding people and groups they depended on to make things happen. In one case, Alistair, an accounting manager who worked in an entrepreneurial firm with several hundred employees, was suddenly promoted by the company’s founder to financial director and given a seat on the board. He was both the youngest and the least-experienced board member, and his instinctive response to these new responsibilities was to reestablish his functional credentials. Acting on a hint from the founder that the company might go public, Alistair undertook a reorganization of the accounting department that would enable the books to withstand close scrutiny. Alistair succeeded brilliantly in upgrading his team’s capabilities, but he missed the fact that only a minority of the seven-person board shared the founder’s ambition. A year into Alistair’s tenure, discussion about whether to take the company public polarized the board, and he discovered that all that time cleaning up the books might have been better spent sounding out his codirectors.


One of the problems with an exclusive reliance on operational networks is that they are usually geared toward meeting objectives as assigned, not toward asking the strategic question, “What should we be doing?” By the same token, managers do not exercise as much personal choice in assembling operational relationships as they do in weaving personal and strategic networks, because to a large extent the right relationships are prescribed by the job and organizational structure. Thus, most operational networking occurs within an organization, and ties are determined in large part by routine, short-term demands. Relationships formed with outsiders, such as board members, customers, and regulators, are directly task-related and tend to be bounded and constrained by demands determined at a higher level. Of course, an individual manager can choose to deepen and develop the ties to different extents, and all managers exercise discretion over who gets priority attention. It’s the quality of relationships—the rapport and mutual trust—that gives an operational network its power. Nonetheless, the substantial constraints on network membership mean these connections are unlikely to deliver value to managers beyond assistance with the task at hand. 
  

Seven Benefit of Taking a Vacation

Seven Benefits of Taking a Vacation

By Kris Powers | May 19th 2015 originally published at

https://ed4online.com/blog/seven-benefits-taking-vacation

Are you planning on taking vacation time this summer? 

If not, you will be among the 75% of Americans who fail to 

take all the paid vacation they are due each year. In a poll 

of 2,300 workers who get paid vacation, the career website 

Glassdoor found that only 25% of workers said they use 

all their paid days each year and 61% said that they continue

to work even while they’re on vacation.

"Rest, relaxation, and stress reduction are very important for people's well-being and health. 

This can be accomplished through daily activities, such as exercise and meditation, but 

vacation is an important part of this as well," said primary care physician Natasha Withers 

from One Medical Group in New York.

Here are seven ways vacation can be beneficial for you:

Better physical health - The stress of working can take a serious toll on your heart.  The 

American Psychological Association has documented several potentially stress-induced 

health threats, including increased cardiovascular risks.

Improved mental health - U.S. News and World Report reported that experts feel that one 

of the main benefits of vacation time is that it can improve your mental health. Feelings of 

calm arise and relieve the stress, allowing the body and mind to heal.

More productivity - Upon returning from vacation, employees are often refreshed and better 

able to catch up on work they may have missed, according to The New York Times.

Prevent/Cure burn out - According to PBS, employees nearing burnout have depleted their 

cognitive, physical and emotional resources. Vacations can help prevent or even cure 

burnout, which is the last state of chronic stress.

Increased mental power - Everyone needs time to rest their minds. Research by the 

University of California 

Irvine’s Gregory Hickok found that our brains don’t have a reserve pool to gather energy and 

power from. Therefore, it's important to give your mind a break!

Gain newer perspectives - CNN reported that when you take a break and step away from 

the problems and stresses you’re facing, you are bound to gain a new perspective. Perhaps 

you will come back from vacation with answers to issues that have been plaguing you.

Build relationships - Vacations promote bonding among family and friends; we can often 

look back at vacations with great fondness and warmth because of shared moments with 

loved ones. Even memories of the mishaps can bring laughter in future years!

It’s important that we slow down our pace in order to lead healthier lifestyles, including rest 

and relaxation for stress reduction as well as making time for the enjoyment of family and 

friends.

Source: http://national.deseretnews.com/article/2169/7-benefits-of-taking-vacation-time.

html#RCbLCsvrlcAh9GRf.99

- See more at:https://ed4online.com/blog/seven-benefits-takingvacation#sthash.g02kOUdX.dpuf

How to Stay the Course

How can you storm past the obstacles in your path to success? 

Imagine you're running a race on an obstacle course. If you keep your head down and merely jogged you won't have the momentum you need to jump the hurdles (knocking them down won't make you lose points in this race) or scale the walls.

To achieve your ultimate success without being knocked off-course, you'll need two tools:

•      Endurance
•      Destination  

Fuel for the Journey

The best athletes know that rest is as important as practice. In order to knock obstacles out of the way, achieve your goals, and stay the course, take time daily to refuel and recharge. How you feed your mind is just as important as fueling your body. Consider who you're around, what you read and what you listen to as your fuel. We don't want to run our race on empty. Let's build our endurance muscles for those obstacles by feeding our mind and body with the best ingredients and let's educate ourselves on how to best meet our goals.  

Maintain Your Momentum

Although some love moving fast! It's not always best to go from 0- 80, however once we build our momentum and get our energy flowing we're able to regulate the ebb and flow. Some hurdles call for a high leap and others a strategic climb, however, all require momentum. Whether the goal is to lose weight, start a business or save money, you have to be consistent. Hurdles will come, like gaining 2 pounds this week or those super cute pair of shoes on sale, however working diligently with the finish line in mind (even if it's not in view) will help keep you on track.  

Destination = Vision

We know the finish line is there however, we can't always see it. You already know where you’re going so on the other side of a mountain of debt, is financial freedom. On the other side of that paperwork is a non-profit status so you can serve in a greater way.  You know exactly where you're aiming to be, so let's view the markers along the race letting you know where you are. Writing your goals and having an accountability community is so important. Share your vision, it doesn't mean everyone will agree with you however you can find that partner to help you stay accountable to your ultimate goal. You may have heard, "get an accountability partner" before, however its particularly impactful when you're faced with obstacles or stumbling blocks on your path towards success. Make the time, ideally a few minutes each day, to visualize your success. Imagine it! Feel the joy! Truly building out the experience in your mind will help to make it a reality.

Building your endurance for the journey and keeping the vision of your ultimate success will ensure that you turn mountains into molehills.

How will you build your endurance to overcome your current obstacles? Let us know in the comments below. 

About the author: Sister Mothyna James-Brightful is a self proclaimed “Self Love Revolutionary”. She has spent the last decade empowering women and girls to live authentic lives. Sister Mothyna is the Visionary Director and Co-founder of Heal a Woman to Heal a Nation. Sister Mothyna is co-author of Because I am a Queen...100 Affirmations for Daily Living and author of Engage.Inspire. Prevent. Educating Teens on Sexual Violence. Stay connected www.hwhn.org: Twitter @mothyna