I Spoke Death... and Almost Shook His Hand

We hear it often: “Life and death lie in the power of the tongue,” or “Your words create your world.” How about this one: “As a man thinks, so is he”? At some point in our lives, we are told that we have to be mindful of what we are saying and speaking over our lives, because it can birth amazing things or horrible things in our lives. These amazing thought provoking and true quotes took on an entirely new reality for me recently. At the beginning of this

month, I celebrated my 28th birthday. This year, I have experienced some amazing, but uncomfortable, transitions. The most recent started with being terminated from my job back in May. It was definitely a huge blow to my ego, but even with a wounded ego, I decided to look at all this time, which was now all mine, as an opportunity to do all I wanted to do. I decided to start my virtual support business, where I help entrepreneurs get organized and productive, minimize stress, and increase revenue through project management and social media management. In the midst of this new entrepreneurial journey I was embarking on, the blows of life started hitting me harder; bills began to pile up, and I was about to lose my car and my home. I overcame those obstacles, but then depression started to set in. I started second-guessing myself and questioning if I could even run a business. Fear set in and anxiety rose.

Recently, I reached the darkest moment along my journey on August 6, 2015. I opened my eyes about 6am, and my first thought of the day … “I just want to die.” In that moment, I felt like there was no hope for me to make it as an entrepreneur. I felt like I just wasn’t cut out for life. I felt like I was in sinking sand, and I was slowly drowning in the mess I created of a life. I couldn’t see a way out; I didn’t want to see the way out. I just wanted to die. And little did I know, in my meditation on this desire to die, I was birthing it. The next day, my birthday, I felt a little better, but not 100%. I went out that evening with friends; we laughed, we ate, we drank, and we were merry. Then suddenly, I blacked out. From what my friends say, I started vomiting uncontrollably and kept requesting to go to the hospital. I got in the ambulance, and the EMT kept trying to give me water, and I kept refusing it. I got to the hospital, and I was told that I had alcohol poisoning. My veins kept collapsing, because I was so dehydrated and malnourished. All during this time, while I was passed out, all I could hear was God saying to me, “C, you have to trust me with your entire your life. If you don’t, you will lose your life.”  I kept saying to Him, “But God, I’m afraid, I’m afraid. Help me not to be afraid.” Then I woke up to my mom at the foot of my hospital bed. Upon awakening, with vital signs back to normal, I was cleared to go home. It hadn’t dawned on me, until after I reviewed my lab results and toxicity report, of how close to death I really was. You see, the toxicity level of ethanol in my body was 163 (normal levels are 0 to 3). After my friend explained to me what that meant, I realized I really could have died. It was all because I was not being intentional and immediately responding to the thoughts of wanting to die that I was thinking the day before. Not only did this experience reteach me the valuable lesson of being intentional with my thoughts and words, but it also reminded me of what a merciful and loving God I serve. Even in a dark moment, where I was thinking destruction and speaking it, He did not allow me to destroy myself!

I challenge you to take a moment and think about the world you are creating with your words.  Think about who you are allowing to create your world with their words. Think about what mindset you have at this moment. Is it a fixed mindset stuck on what seemingly can’t be changed or a growth mindset using your obstacles as an opportunity to overcome and win? My final challenge to you is this; after every statement you make, say aloud, “And that’s just the way I like it.” For example, you would say, “I am great, and that’s just the way I like it!” or “I am tired and broke, and that’s just the way I like it.” Notice the latter statement. I’m 100% sure NO ONE likes to be tired and broke! So, I implore you to stop saying it! Stop saying “I give up.” Stop saying, “I can’t do it.” Just stop.  If that’s not how you like it or how you want your life to be then you shouldn’t speak it (whatever IT is for you). And the moment you start to think it, shift your mindset by speaking aloud something positive over yourself. Did you know you can’t think and speak at the same time? So, any time a negative thought comes, open your mouth (yes, talk to yourself) and speak a positive statement over your life and/or situation.

Don’t allow the trial(s) you are experiencing to break you, Sis. We are victors! We persevere, we fight, and we win! Let’s purpose to win mentally and emotionally so that we can ensure we are not creating our chaos because of what we are thinking and speaking.

********************************************************************************************************

 Ciera J. is a worship leader and motivational speaker. Ciera launched two of her own ministry assignments, one called, Radical Worshipper Ministries, the purpose of this ministry effort is to ignite a fire in God’s people to boldly go out and do what He has called them to do effectively and freely; without allowing anything to hold them back.  The other, Ms. Ciera J. -The Empowerment Chic; this endeavor serves as the avenue of which Ciera will present books, blogs, and music for the uplifting of God’s Kingdom.

Ciera is currently working on her first book entitled “Breaking the Chains of Insecurity,” which is set to be released Fall 2015. She is also a member of Heal a Woman to Heal a Nation, a nonprofit organization dedicated to train women leaders to serve women and young girls around the world. Ciera currently resides in Baltimore, MD and has recently started her own virtual assistant and marketing management company entitled, Your Genius Support.