5 Ways to Keep It (Professionally) Gangsta at Work

5 Ways to Keep It (Professionally) Gangsta at Work

By Sonia Alleyne

*This blog is courtesy of 
Black Enterprise.com

When I interviewed Renetta McCann in 2003 as Black Enterprise’s Corporate Executive of the Year, the now former CEO of Starcom MediaVest Group in Chicago was, at the time, the only Black woman to hold the chief executive seat at a major firm. When asked about influences in her career, one seemed strikingly odd–it was Don Corleone, the central character in the classic book and movie The Godfather. McCann said following his guidelines were instrumental in her climb to the top. Here are her five takeaways from the infamously celebrated mob boss that women can use in the workplace.

He surrounded himself with good advisors. In corporate-speak these are your mentors and sponsors. Interested, high-level professionals who respectively advise you and advocate for you in advancing your career. Despite disparities between men and women in rate of promotion and salary a 2010 Catalyst survey called Mentoring: Necessary But Insufficient for Advancement, cited that women with a mentor increased their odds of being placed at mid-manager or above by 56% over women without a mentor and women who had mentors at the top got promoted at the same rate as men who had mentors at the top.

He knew his opponents. In the workforce opponents can be competitive challengers in the marketplace with products and services that rival yours. To be successful it’s important to understand and determine how to deliver the highest value to clients and customers. But opponents are also real and perceived challenges at work attributed to an organization’s culture–the idiosyncrasies or unwritten rules of how a company functions. The only way to develop successful strategies and strong allies is to structure your goals in line with how your company operates. Mentors are essential to helping you decipher the company codes.

He worked on quid pro quo. This is your network. And although everyone knows the importance of networking, the focus should really be on network building–strategically developing strong and lasting relationships with professionals in your organization and throughout the industry. At the foundation of network building is reciprocal service: you helping someone, who will in turn be able to help you. The Executive Leadership Council’s report Black Women Executive Research Initiative completed in 2008 sites that of the 150 senior level executives surveyed 31% said that lack of networking was hindering the advancement of black women in the workplace. Because minority women tend to be more private at work, it negatively impacts the potential to develop the informal relationships that happen more naturally for white men and women. These are the relationships that can often be instrumental in furthering your professional goals.

He never made a move before his time This speaks to being prepared for when opportunity presents itself and truly knowing your capabilities. In today’s fast-paced environment it’s important to stay ahead of market trends and continually upgrade your expertise. But this also speaks to knowing what internal battles to fight, which ties to understanding the nature of your organization. A Black female executive once told me that her biggest lesson was learning when to be quiet. “There are times when you speak and there are times when you [should] be quiet,” she offered. “Sometimes, you got to just sit back and listen and not be ready to respond, but just listen. Even if you take a moment and then come back to it, it’s okay.”

Never get emotional. Emotion prevents you from thinking clearly and objectively because the situations become personal. It also increases your stress levels making you vulnerable to rash decisions and retaliatory or defensive behavior. It totally throws you off center and you lose sight of the problems and focus on personalities. As McCann explained at work, “a friend today is a foe tomorrow.” It is sometimes just the nature of business. Those who can, as Aetna Chairman and CEO Ron Williams mandates, “focus on the problem; not the person,” will find greater success at work. Sonny was the emotional character in The Godfather–and he was killed!

http://www.blackenterprise.com/career/5-ways-to-keep-it-professionally-gangsta-at-work-2/

Manifesting Your True Voice

Manifesting Your True Voice

Monique R. Muhammad

Today I found my voice...

well not really found because it was 

never lost. 

It was merely buried under 

external monologues about who I be. 

My voice was silenced by the lies

I chose to accept in a forest crowded 

with other people’s opinions. 

My voice still does make a sound, so 

that sound I choose to manifest.

The day I reclaimed and chose to manifest my true voice is one that will be etched in my memory forever. I was in a room filled with brilliant women, awaiting the start of “Art Between Us”, a forum in the D.C. area that allows women of all walks to express themselves through spoken word, music, and art. On my way to the venue, I completely talked myself out of presenting any of my own poetry, for many reasons, all of which were invalid. I had allowed the opinions of other people, their “view” of who I am and what I can offer, to shape my own inner voice. I was afraid to get up in a crowd of people and prove that “they” (the infamous they) were right about me. I was afraid to express my truth, in my way. I was just AFRAID. When I entered the room, I did what is customary for a fearful person to do: I tried to hide. I found a seat in the back of the room and made up mind that today was NOT the day to share- ANYTHING. But the longer I sat there and fed on the energy of those around me, the more I was compelled by the spirit to share my voice. And I did. It was one of the most freeing moments of my entire life. As I left the event that afternoon, the above poem poured from my mind. It just flowed freely. One’s true voice does that- it flows like water. It is natural, like exhaling the breath of life.

Accepting and manifesting the voice that each of us has been given is critical to our overall health and well-being as women. The Creator has placed in each of us, a specific representation of the Divine that must be expressed, and only we can do it in that way. Dumbing down or silencing that voice can lead to poor self-worth, depression, anger, resentment and sheer unhappiness. It isn’t healthy, Queens. Don’t bottle up your truth, share it! Someone else needs what you have!

But did you know that manifesting your voice is deeper than verbal expression? The old saying, “Actions speak louder than words”, is very true. And the fact that thought precedes action, is truer still. So, manifesting one’s voice is about how we express who we really are in words, thought, deed and action.

Three synonyms of the word voice are channel, instrument and champion. How do these words relate? Let’s talk about it.

Channel   Communication begins with thought. The way we communicate verbally, reveals a lot about how we think.  And that negative self-talk? We must start a campaign to stop it today! Whatever negative thoughts we harbor, taint the words we speak. We can sabotage the greatest plans before they even get off the ground. Is our channel (mind) clogged or blocked with negativity, or is it open to allow our thoughts to develop into a productive voice and positive RESULTS?

Instrument   Imagine an orchestra for a moment. Every instrument has its own unique sound. Have you ever noticed that in a well-organized orchestra, no instrument overpowers another? They all play in perfect harmony. And the musicians are focused in that moment on expressing themselves perfectly using his or her instrument. There is no need to compete, because every instrument is important to the overall sound and flow of the performance. Manifesting your true voice is like playing YOUR instrument, perfectly. Don’t forget, that you have to practice to reach perfection (smile).

Champion   What are your life’s passions? Express them! Live them! Let no one leave your presence without becoming acquainted with who you are and the causes you believe in. People become acquainted with our voices, through our action. We can talk a good game, but if the actions don’t line up, we have wasted time. We all have to be champions of something bigger than ourselves. No champion sits on the sideline waiting for the win; champions get in the game!

Let’s be clear. You’re not on a quest to find your voice because it isn’t lost. But it will take some tenacity and courage to uncover what is buried. Remember what we accept as the truth about ourselves, could possibly be a well-dressed lie.  It is our duty to not only uncover it, but destroy it at the root. It can be done. It will be done!! Stay the course and encourage yourself along the way.

What voice will YOU manifest? The world is waiting.

Monique Muhammad is a poet and author who published her first book "Rhythmic Reflections" in 2013. Her work has also been published in the world renowned Final Call Newspaper. Monique is a wife and mother of 2 sons, and is currently pursuing a degree in Geriatric  Nursing.

Women & Finance: You Have to Have Your Own Money Skills

I was speaking to a woman about money and monitoring expenses when she admitted that she “just let’s her husband handle everything.” When she said everything she meant everything. She had no idea what accounts they had or at which institutions they had them. She of course didn’t have the passwords to any accounts. She didn’t pay the bills and trusted and expected him to alert her if there was anything she really needed to know. I was shocked. Was this really happening in this day and age?
Apparently the number of women who handle the household finances went to 24 percent in 2013 according to Fidelity Investments. Wow only 24 percent. It’s better than it was but is still so low. Women were not as confident about their ability to handle the finances especially not investing and long-term financial planning.  This is especially troublesome since women are still outliving men. Between the 40-50 percent divorce rate and the fact that the life expectancy for women is longer than for men, at some point women will have to be fully in charge of the finances.
Even if you allow your spouse to have full control of the finances at least be well versed in what the household financial situation is. Both spouses should have a vested interest in the financial security of the household. Here are some ways and rules to come together over the finances:

1) The information for any shared household accounts should be known to both parties. Information such as the institution, account number, and account password.  Notice I shared accounts. If you subscribe to the ideology of a separate account for each and a joint account … hey that’s fine. As long as both parties agree and are honest.

2) Design the budget together. This way it’s clear to both parties where the money is going and why. Miscommunication here can lead to differing expectations on spending. If one person is unclear on the actual budget for a specific category then it will be much easier to overspend. Overspending in one category causes you to have to make up for it somehow, usually at the expense of your financial goals.

3) Have monthly finance meetings. Schedule the time on your calendars to sit down and check in on the financial plan and with each other. How well did you stay within the spending plan aka your budget? What needs to be tweaked for next month? How much progress did you make towards your goals? Make sure everyone is on the same page. It doesn’t have to be long, it’s a check in.
Guys, don’t think you’re saving her the trouble or the worry. Include her in the conversation and updates on the money. Women take an interest and do what you need to do to be more confident about financial decisions.

Grow your financial confidence:

1) Read (well continue reading since you’re here) financial blogs and books. There’s a lot of great information out there. Start reading and gathering the knowledge necessary to be an engaged participant in building your financial security.

2) Exercise your growing financial muscle. Go beyond the budgeting and household expenses. Have discussions about the long-term financial planning. Make sure you understand what the plan is for your financial security. Know how you will be able to survive and run your household during retirement. Talk about the retirement goal. Know the nest egg number and how close you are to it. Know the plan of how you will reach that number. Talk about the investment vehicles being used.

3) Attend the meetings or conversations with the financial advisor. Both spouses should be comfortable with this person. If either don’t feel comfortable talking to the financial advisor then it may be time to make a switch. This person is handling your money and investments, you should be comfortable asking any question about your money. No matter how silly you may think the question is! You should be able to ask “hey does money grow on trees?” and get a thought answer that doesn’t make you uncomfortable. You can then say you were just joking.
Both spouses should be involved in the financial security of the household. However, each person should have money management skills of their own.


Photo credit: The Urban Scot







About Dr. Maria James



Dr. James, The Money Scientist, has expertise with designing income management, debt management, and wealth strategies to help you live your best life. She is the founder of Pocket of Money, LLC and the creator of The Wealth Protocol™. Dr. James has also been a guest financial expert on ESSENCE, WEAA, Madame Noire and more.

Reinvent Your Life! 10 Undeniable Ways to Boost Your Confidence & Find Your Authentic Voice!

For many years I shrunk my greatness to make others feel comfortable. During the entire process, I did not realize I was rejecting my true authentic voice and being. See, I tried to conform into who the world said I should be rather than how God created me to be.  During this time of conforming, I lost a sense of self, I compared myself to others, I put way too much attention on my outward appearance, all the while ignoring the inner healing and nurturing I desperately needed.

The crazy thing is, I walked around, thinking I was cute and accomplished, having no clue. I did not know who I really was because over the years I gave away my power and position for other people to manage.

This finally came full circle in 2009 when a guy I was dating, asked me to meet his mother.  I was so excited!  He had the bomb resume from a great career, new luxurious vehicle that he purchased in cash, he was financially stable, and of course, he was good looking; all the essentials, or so I thought.  You could not tell me I did not hit the jackpot with this one!  

I started to get ready by picking out my outfit, spending hours fixing my hair, ironing, ensuring I had my Brown Sugar body lotion and my DKNY Delicious Apple perfume, then I put on my MAC makeup and finally I was ready to go.

I pulled up to his house, he greeted me at the door, let me in and introduced me to his mother.  She asked me what fragrance I was wearing because she loved it! Of course, I told her.  At that time, I was operating in my introvert personality, so I was not very talkative.  So we exchanged a few words but not much was discussed that evening.  After spending a few hours with him and his mother, I headed home before it got too late. I left thinking I really made a good impression.

When I talked to him later that week, I discovered that his mom thought I was sweet and beautiful.  When I heard this, I was extremely disappointed that "sweet" was the only thing his mom could find to say about me.  I wanted to be known as smart, having a good head on my shoulder; being “wifey-material”;  having the potential to be a good mother one day; a woman who was passionate about youth; women and family; a child of God; authentic; loving; a multiplier; a leader etc.  I wanted to be much more than a sweet and beautiful southern girl. 

At that moment, sitting on my bed after ending the conversation, it suddenly hit me like a ton of bricks! I received a good return on my investment.  I invested all my time preparing my outward appearance, making sure I looked good and in return praise on my outward appearance was what I received.  

See, I lacked self-awareness, I felt beautiful on the outside, but I was self-conscious about how my behavior and communication came off to other people.  To make matters worse, I wasn’t even aware of how I had been showing up in the world until this point in my life when I received this feedback that was not at all what I expected.  Needless to say, my relationship with this guy ended shortly thereafter. His last words to me were “take care”.  And indeed I did, after that point, I started to discover my self-worth and I found my authentic voice which resulted in me being more confident in all areas of my life.

Before you can be confident, you have to know your self-worth and love yourself unconditionally; you have to first be aware of who you are. How are you showing up in the world? 

The next major milestone is to accept who you are from your behavior, communication, your appearances and your past experiences. See you set the standard for how the world treats you. If you don’t accept who you are, why would anyone else?
Detach your value from how you look, what you say, what you do, your marital status, your followers or what someone else is doing on your job or in their business. You are valued because you are a precious soul who loves, who cares and who was custom made for a specific purpose.  It is not about what you do, it is all about who you are and how much you like yourself!  

There are 10 Undeniable Things You Must Do to move forward to reinventing yourself to become the Version of Yourself, boost your confidence, self-worth and find your true authentic voice.

1.)    Know thy Self!

The First thing is to know yourself.  If you want to elevate your self–worth, you have to love yourself. You cannot love yourself if you haven’t taken the time to get to know who you really are.  In a society, where there is so much pressure to fall into certain categories whether that is: body size, hair texture, education or race; you can lose a sense of self.  Take time to write out your core values and beliefs, write out your strengths and weaknesses, and write out your most favorable physical features and your less favorable features.  Then I dare you to make a decision to accept and love your self-unconditionally.  Once you do that, you put other people on notice that they must take you as you are or not at all!

2.)    To Thy Own Self Be True!

Once you identify what your core values and beliefs are, stay true to who you are!  There will be times where you feel the pressure to go against what feels natural to you or what that inner voice is whispering to you against your better judgment.  But don’t you dare!  The moment you do, is the moment you betray yourself the person that loves you the most, YOU; for the approval of someone who may not even be around six months from now.

3.)    Free Yourself From the Opinions of Others!

People are always going to have something to say.  Make a declaration that other people’s opinion of you is really none of your business; it is their business, their problem!  Do right by you! Everyone else will either have to accept it or reject it and you just have to be okay either way.

4.)    Accept Yourself Completely, Flaws and All!

Reflect on the things you don’t like about yourself and make a decision to embrace that as your uniqueness.  I struggled with accepting my nose.  People teased me growing up by saying I looked like Gonzo (from Sesame Street) and that I had a neck like a giraffe.  In addition, I hated my middle name, but I made a choice that I would find something to love about all of these things and you can too!  Let your difference define your uniqueness! 

5.)    Let-go of Past Guilt and Shame. You are Forgiven!

Past failures and shortcomings, if not released and freed can keep you in a place of guilt and shame.  Everyone has a past and we all have done something that we are not so proud to admit. What I have learned is some of the most prosperous ministries and businesses where birthed from these same incidents that we hide, deny and keep ourselves.  Think of Sarah Jakes Roberts who shared the one thing she was most ashamed of, having a child at the age of 13 years old and now she shares her mistakes to teach the message of God’s grace.  The first step is to forgive yourself, then confess that you messed up, and make sure that it is not from a place of embarrassment, but from a place of an overcomer.  Perhaps your mess will be your message or maybe it was just a trial to make you a better woman, mother, wife, or friend.  Every experience you have is equipping you for a destined future.

6.)    Time Out on Waiting for Someone Else to Validate You, Validate Yourself!

You are perfectly you!  You are smart enough, you are beautiful enough, you have the ability to communicate, you have the ability to speak and do everything that is required for you to accomplish the mission you have been called to complete.  No one is going to crown you as queen and say, yes you are worthy to wear your crown.  You don’t have to wait for someone to give you the crown and throne.  It is your birthright!  So claim it!

7.)    Learn to Give Yourself a Break!

Oftentimes we can be our own biggest critics.  Listen, you are going to make mistakes and fall short.  Some level of failed attempts are a pre-requisite for success.  Understand that it is just what is required to get you from your dream to your destiny.  So give yourself a break.  If you mess up, get back up and try again.  You just learned another way that doesn’t work! Don’t be so hard on yourself.  Sometimes just say to yourself that is okay, I will get it the next time! Pick-up and go back even harder giving 110% of yourself to your dream.

8.)     Stop Focusing on Perfection and Shift to Planning and Preparation!

You may be a perfectionist and I get it.  There is nothing wrong with wanting things to be neat and in order.  The challenge is taking the time in advance to properly plan out what is required in terms of resources time, money and energy to get something accomplished.  Although you may be the responsible person, you don’t need to do everything yourself.  Get some help even if it is hiring a virtual assistance, housekeeper, a life or business coach.  Use preparation to boost your readiness and your confidence!

9.)    Take Care of You First! Mind, Body, Spirit!

It is just like being on a plane and the flight attendants tells you to make sure you secure your own oxygen mask before trying to assist others; be it little children or an elderly adult.  The pilot as well as the attendants, understand that if you don’t put on your oxygen mask first, you may die and then a helpless child won’t be able to figure out how to put on their oxygen mask. Make sure you are receiving sufficient oxygen (food, water, exercise, rest etc.) so that you can make sure that others (your kids, your husband, co-workers, your elderly parents) will get what they need. Talk through life issues, invest in yourself by getting the necessary books or programs so you can live smarter and not harder. Stay connected to your Creator by praying, worshipping, and reading daily.

10.) Trust Yourself, Your Heart Knows the Answer!

Sometimes you will have to turn down the outside noise, so you can hear your own voice.  No one knows you better than you! Avoid the temptation of always seeking the opinion of others for personal decisions. There is a place to seek wise counsel when facing major life decisions like buying a house, who you will marry or making a business decision.  But most times, you just need to follow your gut instinct and trust your heart knows the answer. 

I challenge you to first get to know yourself and then make 21 declarations about how fabulous you are and read these declarations every day for the next 21 days.  You will walk away more confident, more whole, more attractive, more loveable, more balanced, more poise and more powerful in your relationship and in the space you occupy.

HWHNHWHNHWHNHWHNHWHNHWHNHWHNHWHNHWHNHWHNHWHNHWHNH

Jill Bulluck is a life and relationship expert that helps women become the best version of themselves by reinventing their identity and showing up as their true authentic self.  She is also the founder of Detour Movement Inc., a mission based organization for young girls and women to establish and maintain healthy relationship with God, themselves and others.  Jill prepares and positions professional single women to make the right choice in their dating relationships.  As a result of the work she does, women break free from unhealthy relationships, establish and maintains healthy happy love, gain confidence and boldness to attract and keep healthy happy relationships that leads to marriage.

Jill is the host of the Fabulous I Am Conference which gathers over 100 women each year to release, restore, and renew their mind, body and spirit so they can transform their life. Jill is the future best-selling author of Be the Best Version of You Dispelling the Lies and Uncovering the Truth of a Fabulous You! Jill has developed coaching programs, presentations, workbooks, and events to empower youth and women to achieve personal, spiritual and relationship goals.  She is trained in conflict resolution and a certified mentor/mentee coach.