So, my daughter, just home from vacation,
comes out of her room and states loudly “I’m fat” not with tears, but
with sort of a grin. She knows she’s beautiful and has an inner
confidence, that I certainly did not have as a 13-year-old, but this
statement concerns me and I laid awake that night wondering how to
address it.
I am a fit mom who instilled health and
wellness in my daily mothering. Yet the truth is this: My daughter looks
nothing like me; her body is long and curvy, completely unlike my
shorter, more muscular physique. Nor does she share “the eye of the
tiger” that I was born with. I love to exercise and have used it as a
stress release since I was a young girl, walking on my hands and
cartwheeling through my younger days. I loved to move and still do. She
wants no part of that!
So even though she doesn’t share my “tiger
spirit,” there are things I still want her to know about why working out
matters and why being fit and connected to your body is key to having
an amazing life, not just to look good, but to feel strong and confident
in who you are and how you show up in the world.
1. Being strong is the bomb. What I
learned is when I connect to my strength, my fear diminishes and my
confidence rises. You will feel more joy and less inclined to take crap
from people that want to push you around.
2. Self-efficacy is key. Your need
for approval from peers becomes less important. You will be more
inclined to celebrate your uniqueness, your beauty, brilliance and
strength. This is what you want to reflect, not your fear and phobias.
You will attract people who like you for who you are, not for what you
have.
3. Exercise boosts confidence. Even
when we don’t feel like it, the benefits of exercise are huge! Being fit
makes me smile more, I feel more alive, and want to connect more with
others. The same will be true with you. Trust me! Being fit and vital is
contagious.
4. Nature rules! Ever feel totally
bummed out and trapped in the house? Cranky from too much screen time.
Nature rules! The crunch of the leaves, the smell of grass, and the
crisp, cool air all brings us to deeper connection to who we are. Moving
our bodies outside connects to our source, our inner knowing of what is
right, true and unique for each of us.
5. You really discover who you are by meeting and pushing through challenges.
“I can’t do it.” Lifting weights brings me to places that are ugly and
scary. Moving through resistance teaches me that I am more than my
thoughts and my fears. I can do more than I thought. Often, things that I
thought weren’t even possible. Fitness pushes you to places where
faith takes over and fear fades. This is what I call a peak experience.
This is REAL.
6. Your choices become clearer.
Exercise clears your head and silences unnecessary noise. The doubters
and haters in your life shrink to zero. You’ve got no time for that!
Making a decision about something? Oftentimes we can work out a strategy
through the systematic approach of working out. Clarity is powerful.
7. Just sayin’ no to what doesn’t feel right.
Being strong allows you to have the strength and confidence to say
“no.” This is a powerful word. Embrace it. Get comfortable using it
against unwanted sexual advances, peer pressure or anything else that
puts you out of integrity for who you are. You rock. “No” is good. It
lets people know you are not to be messed with.
8. People who care about their bodies and being fit are way cooler.
Fit people are, in general, more positive. And who doesn’t want to be
around positive people? If you are negative, you attract negativity.
It’s hard to be crabby when you are experiencing a boost of endorphins
post workout. And the positive effect lasts hours. Share in the good
vibes!
9. You dream bigger. Pushing through
limitations helps you see yourself as the amazing person you came here
to be. We are all here to be unique and serve the world in our own way.
Dreaming bigger means you can help more people. Don’t waste time trying
to be smaller than who you know you are!
10. You feel beautiful. Strong is
beautiful. Confidence is beautiful. Smart is beautiful. Courageous is
beautiful. “Beauty is only skin deep” is actually a lie. Beauty is not
just your hair, your hips, your eyes. Beauty is also your inner
qualities and how you make others feel. By celebrating yourself, you
bring more beauty to the world.
This is what I want my daughter to know:
that by caring for her body, she is showing the world that she matters,
that she has a voice, and with her strength and beauty from within, she
has the power to change the world.
And so do you!
About the author:
Kate McKay is a speaker, coach, fitness
guru, entrepreneur and author whose passion is to spread her message of
living a life of abundance. She founded Gold Siena/Gold Party New
England and Kate McKay, headquartered in Newburyport, Mass. Kate has a
single goal in life: to inspire others to live the most abundant life
possible by helping them tap into their inner strengths. Ms. McKay
offers her wisdom through her "Living Sexy" series of books as well as
personal speaking engagements.
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