Are you set up for success in 2015?

You made it! 2014 is coming to a close in just 28 days! Some months went quickly and others, well they couldn't have ended fast enough. As I reflect I want to share with you how we can make 2015 ROCK! Setting clear goals for the next 90 days is great way to start.

Let’s plan to push hard in the final days of 2014 because it isn't over yet and having a remarkable 2015 starts right now.

Set Clear Goals….

Often we declare a desire to get fit, get out of debt, get more organized or finally start that business. Have you ever come up against real challenges in the process of bringing your desires into reality? Are there desires that you have which have remained an elusive dream? It's time to elevate every dream into a goal. What's the difference? The difference between a goal and a dream is a set lifeline. (Example: I will finish my business plan by Feb. 1, 2014.) It's clear, either you did or you didn't. As you set goals to help you reach your dreams, every action is bringing you closer to the reality you truly desire. Therefore, you are breathing life into creating your brilliant reality. In order to achieve your dreams you must set goals that breathe life into your very existence, which all connects back to your unique purpose in the world. So instead of a deadline set Lifelines as you move toward your dreams.

Have you ever said, “There isn’t enough time in the day”?  In reality we have the same about of time as billionaires, world class athletes or your favorite 5 year old. Life isn’t about time-management. Can you really manage time? Rather, focus on managing what you do in the time that you have. Instead of setting large vague goals by the end of the year, start with goals you can accomplish within each quarter. There are 4 quarters in a year, comprised of 3 months each, which is roughly 90 days a quarter. Setting goals per quarter is not as intimidating as a whole year and allows you to push yourself. What's up for you in your next 90 days?

For every goal you set, make sure you’ve noted milestones along the path. A milestone reminds you that you’re on task to reaching the big goal. Sometimes we think we’re not hitting the mark because it doesn’t look the way we think it should. However, you won’t know unless you’ve created markers or milestones along the way. Think of it this way, this is not a sprint rather it’s more of a marathon. In every marathon, there are markers along the path. Those signs are a reminder that you may not have reached the finish line yet but you’re one more mile toward accomplishing your dream. At each mile, there is a crowd to cheer you on and each mile feels like a win. Too often we come closer and closer to our dream yet we don’t even know it because we haven’t taken the time to celebrate our small wins along the way. Celebrate your wins!

Start now!!! I’ve said this a few times already but it’s worth repeating. We all have dreams, yet you may have some negative chatter in your head saying you can’t do it. Or it’s too big and we sometimes give into that voice and say we’ll do it later. “I’ll start in January” is a favorite stall tactic. WHY?

Start now. You’ll never be less busy. There is no guarantee you’ll have enough money later. The only guarantee we have is NOW. Give yourself the gift of your dreams and start in the present. It may not be easy but you are worth it. Remember, success and failure are both products of your thoughts.  What are you thinking? What are you focused on? Remember set clear lifelines for your goals. Identify milestones in the beginning of the process and most importantly start now.

About the Author:

Sister Mothyna James-Brightful is a self proclaimed “Self Love Revolutionary”. She has spent the last decade empowering women and girls to live authentic lives. Sister Mothyna is the Visionary Director and Co-founder of Heal a Woman to Heal a Nation. Sister Mothyna is co-author of Because I am a Queen...100 Affirmations for Daily Living. Stay connected www.hwhn.org: Twitter @mothyna

5 Ways To Teach Your Kids About Giving Back

It’s not uncommon to see a child stop when they see another child crying and ask “why is he crying” and even go as far as to offer a toy or hug to help. Or for my own kids to offer to feed me if I say I’m hungry or for them to say “mommy are you okay?” if I stumble, get hurt or have an accident.

Children are inherently full of love and enjoy helping those around them, but if we also want our kids to become caring, compassionate and charitable adults, then we have to teach it to them.  We have to teach them that caring about others is good and that it’s good to help those in need.

From hunger, to homelessness, to cancer research, the world is in desperate need of charitable people. But teaching your child to give to others is not only good for the world, it’s also good for your child. In research recently published by Harvard Business School, giving to others promotes happiness, enhances your sense of purpose and increases your satisfaction with life.

So teaching your child to be charitable is good all the way around - for the world and for your child.

5 simple ways to teach your child about charity today:

1. Start a “giving bank.” A “giving” bank is a piggy bank that the whole family contributes to and when the bank is full, the money is donated to a specific charity. Doing this makes giving a family activity and makes it more fun for your child. It’s also a great way for parents to model giving to their children and for you to practice what you preach.

2. Choose a different charity every year and encourage your child to learn about it. From the flood victims of Kashmir, to families in our own communities who need clothes and furniture for their kids, there are many different people in this world who need help. By focusing your giving on a different group every year, you’re providing your child with a wonderful educational opportunity to learn about the many different causes and struggles worldwide. Choosing different people annually will also show your child that everyone with a need is equally deserving of our compassion.

3. Make giving a holiday tradition. Have your child pick out a toy and donate it to child in need this Christmas holiday. There’s no better way to make the act of giving more emotionally satisfying than to put a smile on a child’s face. It might help you to start a new holiday tradition.

4. Give through your child’s school. From food drives to clothing drives, take advantage of any charity events run by your child’s school. Getting involved through your child’s school will enhance your child’s sense of community at his or her school while teaching them about the value of helping others. If your child’s school doesn’t do charity programs, take the initiative and have your child start one.

5. Make birthdays a time for receiving and giving.  Encourage your child to give away old toys that are in good condition every birthday when your child receives new toys. It will help families in need, teach your child about giving and help you to de-clutter. So it’s a win-win for everyone. To help you get started. There are many organizations that will accept your toy donations. Some of them include Room to Grow for New York residents, Goodwill, Toys for Tots and Second Chance Toys. You can also contact local family shelters in your area and ask them if they need donations. So get to it. Happy teaching and happy giving.

Originally featured on Essence.com, written by Notoya Green.

Notoya Green is an on-air parenting expert and mother of three-year-old triplets. A former law attorney, Notoya put her law career on hold to become a stay-at-home mom to care full-time for her children. She now shares her experiences at Triplets in Tribeca.

Coach Felicia: 'What or Who Is Behind Your Decisions?'

Coach Felicia

Photo Credit: Keith Major

originally featured on essence.com

A few weeks ago, I laid down to catch a quick nap. Immediately, my three-year-old niece crawled on to the bed and draped her little body across mine. As she rested her head on my back, I grabbed my phone and took my first selfie ever! The back of her head and those little pom-pom ponytails bring a smile to my face every time I see them.

Though I wanted to rest, I couldn’t—primarily because it is hard to drift off with nearly thirty pounds on your back and secondly because I didn’t want to make any moves that might hurt her. And, asking her to move wasn’t an option, because I know that one day she might not think “Mauntie” is the coolest thing since sliced bread or feel too grown to snuggle up with me.

As we lay there, her watching TV and me savoring the moment, I thought about the fact that there have been many times in my life when I wanted to throw in the proverbial towel and just quit. Sometimes I wanted to stop working hard and at others I wanted to quit doing the right thing and just do whatever I wanted. Most times, I made the right choice...most!

As I look back at the moments when I was able to falter, but not fall, I find that one of the things that helped me to make the best decision is the fact that I know there are people looking up to me.

Regardless of who you are, your life makes a difference to someone. There will be times when people only believe in something more or different, because of your example. While we never want to be the source of someone’s faith, we must take responsibility for the influence we wield. There are moments when we may want to do what is least painful, or easiest, on our emotions—even when it isn’t for the best. When we face those turning points, we must factor a few things into our decision-making:

1. Identifying the Real Problem: Failure to acknowledge the “real” problem only makes matters worse. My client Georgia once called me in literal tears over her affair with a married man. Besides operating outside of her own character, the affair was only compounding her root issue—the loneliness that led her into it! We want to take actions that move us in a forward direction. Sometimes we get frustrated because life doesn’t change, but the real problem is that we haven’t made different types of decisions.

2. Identifying Our Standards: When we know our standards, certain behaviors, relationships and decisions cease to be an option. Sometimes we feel overwhelmed by the emotions of the moment because we root our decisions in our feelings, not in the concrete of what we are looking for or expect from life.

3. Identifying the Exchange: In order to get one thing, we have to give up another. When we choose a path in life, we close the door or limit the options another path may have offered. All actions and decisions have consequences. We must make sure that whatever we get is worth what we will give up. Otherwise, we’ll be angry and regretful.

Do Your Work: Whether it is purchasing a new appliance or taking a new job, the pros and cons list works wonders. Spend time on your list today. Let me help you make decisions to win, visit coachfelicia.com/coaching-session to qualify for a free laser session valued at $397.

Define Your Wealth: Affirm out loud, “I choose the road of wisdom and character everyday!”

About the  Author: Named the “North America’s Next Greatest Speaker” by eWomenNetwork, Coach Felicia is a Certified Empowerment Coach™ who empowers her clients to "Turn their Worth into Wealth" as she partners with them to DISCOVER their WORTH, DO the WORK and DEFINE their WEALTH. Get more insight, download the FREE “8 Choices Winners Must Make” seminar MP3 on her website.

10 Ways to Make Yourself Save More Money

Saving money can be difficult as you’re usually putting money away for an intangible item, out of sight out of mind problem, for a future occurrence that may never happen. Maybe you make a general statement such as I’m going to start saving because it’s important. This is not motivating enough to consistently save money. You may save for a week or two, but then you’re going to fall off.  Ask yourself: Why is it important? What exactly are you saving the money to buy? Here are a few more ways to make you save more money.

1) Write down your goals (previous post about resolutions and goal setting). In order to achieve something you first have to state what it is. The goal should also be specific and measurably. You should know exactly when you have successfully reached the goal, give it a dollar amount and deadline.

2) Create a visual reminder of your goals. Out of sight, out of mind is a big factor. You’re more likely to spend and not save if you can’t remember why you should be saving, especially when the impulse to buy a want occurs. Create something visual to hang on your wall, place as a screen saver, etc.

3) Break your savings goals into daily or weekly amounts to make it more manageable in your mind and so you know exactly what to aim for every day or week. For example if you want to save $6,000 for the year, then you know you need to save $500 each month, $125 each week, or $17.85 each day. If you’re saving up $1,000 for a trip coming up in 5 months, then you know you need to save $200 each month, $50 each week, or $7.14 each day.

4) Wait and come back. When you want to buy an item, wait for at least a week, come up with reasons as to why you need it, not want but need it. If you can’t think of any reasons then leave it. If the item will no longer be available in a week, then wait at least 24 hours. You’ll be amazed how this simple trick will get you to decrease unnecessary spending.

5) Shop your closets. I don’t know about you, but sometimes when I clean a closet or cupboard I find things that I’d completely forgotten existed. There may be things in your home suffering the same fate. What’s in the back of your closet? Check the clothes closet, hall closet, pantry etc. What forgotten items may be in there? How can you re-purpose them for the new season or a new use?

6) Get a bottle for loose change. When you buy something, put the loose change in a bottle (aka piggy bank for adults), or just get a piggy bank and have fun with it. Once your bottle is filled, wrap the coins in the appropriate wrappers and take them to the bank. It’s better to take them to a bank where you have an account as you can deposit the money in savings right then and there.

7) Only charge items you can pay off in full before the end of the month. Don’t carry a balance on your credit card and you’ll save all the money you would have paid in savings. You’ll also maintain a good credit card history and credit score while not increasing your debt.

8) Make a realistic not extremely frugal budget. One of the top reasons a person doesn’t stick to a budget is the budget isn’t realistic. The budget is so limiting, there are no rewards or real entertainment factored into it. No one and I mean no one can stick to a budget like that one and if you can’t stick to the budget then you’ll overspend. Make sure the budget is frugal so you’re getting the most out of your money and moving towards your financial goals, but don’t make it so restrictive that you can’t enjoy yourself a bit. You won’t overspend and you’ll save money.

9) Calculate how long you have to work to afford the item. Every item you buy you can figure out how much time you have to work to be able to afford it. For example, if you’re buying a jacket that is $200 and you make $20 per hour, you worked for 10 hours in order to get the money to purchase the jacket. Is it really worth 10 hours of work? Do you feel comfortable trading 10 hours of your time for the jacket? Do this before making a purchase and you might just decide the item isn’t worth it.

10) Delete your saved card information on the shopping sites. Major shopping sites will allow you to create an account and save your payment information. This is offered as a gesture in convenience for the shopper. If you have an account you don’t have to take out your card and spend time entering the information. Or looking at it from their view, you won’t spend time thinking about the purchase and potentially deciding that you really don’t need the item. Convenience can and does lead to more spending. Delete the information, take the time and save more money.

What are your biggest obstacles to saving money and how do you overcome them?

Want to learn more about creating your own wealth check out Financial Blueprint for Quitting Corporate.

About the Author: Maria James has a compassion for people that makes her involvement in Heal a Woman to Heal a Nation a sure fit. She is a biomedical scientist who is public health conscience and has always worked for the betterment of others. Maria is the founder of Pocket of Money, LLC which provides tools and tips to help you take control of your money and live your best life. Dr. James is our resident Money Scientist.

Beat the Energy Drain

**This article was featured in the August issue of ESSENCE. www.essence.com**

by Tracey E. Hopkins

Sure, you expect to feel a little run-down when you've spent the past few weeks getting to work early and socializing with friends into the night or you've been putting in extra hours at the office finishing up a project. But what about that wrung-out, bone-tired feeling you can't seem to shake, no matter how much couch time you've clocked? If you just can't seem to feel well-rested, you might be suffering from fatigue, which is characterized as having a lack of energy and motivation rather than just feeling sleepy.

According to the Mayo Clinic, fatigue can be attributed to lifestyle factors, underlying medical conditions or psychological problems. "In a world filled with endless to-do lists, multimedia overload, eating on the run and economic tensions, many individuals are experiencing fatigue on a daily basis," says Eudene Harry, M.D, medical director of the integrative and holistic Oasis Wellness and Rejuvenation Center in Orlando, Florida.

Fatigue that persists for six months and doesn't improve with rest is called chronic fatigue syndrome (CFS). Studies find that CFS primarily affects women, and in addition to extreme exhaustion, symptoms include muscle and joint pain, memory problems, headaches and insomnia. "Chronic fatigue may be the epidemic of the twenty-first century," says Harry.

Whether you're plagued by the occasional bout of lethargy or your condition is more severe, read on to help determine the root cause and find out what you can do to get back on track.

7 FATIGUE CULPRITS

1. You can't sleep
The National Sleep Foundation identifies insomnia as a major cause of fatigue. Symptoms include difficulty falling or staying asleep and waking up still feeling pooped. Daytime hours are equally troublesome for insomniacs, who may suffer from excessive sleepiness, problems with concentration and memory, and irritability.

Fatigue Rx: Insomnia is usually treated with medications, but Tamara Brown Payne, Ph.D., a psychologist in Atlanta, recognizes that "sleeping pills are highly addictive." She recommends taking short naps during the day. Also, stay away from foods, beverages and activities that can overstimulate. That means avoiding caffeinated beverages within two hours before bedtime and turning off the TV and other electronic devices an hour before you hit the hay.

2. You're anemic
The condition occurs when your blood doesn't contain enough red blood cells, which carry oxygen throughout the body. When the amount of oxygen transported to the heart, brain, muscles and other organs is insufficient, it decreases the energy available to these organs. We perceive this as fatigue. Anemia is especially common among women who menstruate, particularly those who have heavy periods. Its causes include iron and vitamin deficiencies, chronic illness, cancer and sickle-cell disease.

Fatigue Rx: Simple blood tests can confirm if you're anemic. If you test positive, Danielle Huff, a registered dietitian at Montefiore Medical Center in New York City, recommends consuming iron-rich foods such as liver, chicken, beef, fish, beans, lentils, spinach, oatmeal and fortified breakfast cereals. "Iron from animal sources is better absorbed by the body than iron derived from plants," says Huff. "You can assist the absorption of iron in plant-based foods by pairing them with vitamin C-rich foods, like tomatoes, oranges, bell peppers and strawberries." Huff also says to ditch caffeine when consuming these foods because it can inhibit iron absorption.

3. You drink too much
Alcohol slows down brain function, decreasing energy, focus and the ability to make decisions. Drinking liquor can also contribute to sleep issues, which further exacerbates fatigue.

Fatigue Rx: If you're trying to alleviate stress, learn to manage it in more positive ways. "Start each day with a sense of gratitude or find a thought or a mental image that makes you feel good," suggests Harry. Other stress-busters? Try laughing several times a day; getting a massage; practicing relaxation-inducing exercises like deep breathing, meditation, yoga and tai chi; and maintaining healthy friendships.

4. You have a vitamin D deficiency
Studies show a connection between deficiency in vitamin D and chronic fatigue. Huff notes the issue is common especially among people of color because the melanin in darker skin reduces our ability to make vitamin D from sunlight. This problem is worse in winter, when there is less sun.

Fatigue Rx: Although many of the best-known dietary sources of vitamin D are dairy products, Huff realizes this can be troublesome for African-Americans, since many of us are lactose intolerant. "Luckily, there are other food sources, including egg yolks, canned tuna, salmon, mackerel and cod liver oil," says Huff. For some, supplements may be the best way to normalize your vitamin D level. Talk to your medical provider or dietitian about what dose is best for you.

5. You have heart disease
Tiredness is a common early symptom of a heart attack in women, according to the American Heart Association. "If the heart isn't working optimally, then the delivery of nutrients and oxygen in the blood is compromised, and fatigue can be the result," says Harry. That's why it's so important to have any signs of unrelenting weariness checked out by your doctor.

Fatigue Rx: If your fatigue is caused by heart disease, the number one killer of women, Harry says the treatment will depend on what is causing the heart to malfunction. For example, you may be placed on medications to lower your blood pressure. Your physician may also put you on a heart-healthy diet including fish and olive oil, which contain healthy fats, to help fight inflammation; lots of vegetables; high-fiber foods, such as garbanzo beans, to maintain a healthy cholesterol level; and lean proteins to keep the heart muscle strong.

6. You have undiagnosed or uncontrolled diabetes
"Studies show that fatigue is a symptom in both type 1 and type 2 diabetes," says Harry. Fatigue can be the result of having either too high or too low blood sugar.

Fatigue Rx: If you're diabetic, managing your energy levels may be a matter of keeping your blood glucose level in check by staying committed to the diabetes management plan your health care team set for you. That means being vigilant about what you eat. For a steady energy boost, Huff advises that you watch your consumption of simple carbohydrates—such as sweets, soda and white bread—and stabilize blood sugar levels with complex carbohydrates, which are found in whole grain breads and cereals, brown rice, beans, fruits and vegetables, nuts and popcorn. When they're consumed in moderation, Harry says nuts help you lose weight, lower blood pressure and even improve cholesterol levels.

7. You're taking medication
The cause of your lack of energy could be in your medicine cabinet. "Medications used for anxiety, hypertension drugs such as diuretics and calcium channel blockers, and antiseizure medications may also have a sedative effect," says Harry. But don't forget about over-the-counter pills. According to the Mayo Clinic, antihistamines, cough medicines and cold remedies may also be behind fatigue.

Fatigue Rx: If your prescription drugs are making you lethargic, talk to your doctor, who may be able to change the dosage or prescribe a different medication and/or alternative treatments.

10 Things I Want My Daughter to Know About Working Out

So, my daughter, just home from vacation, comes out of her room and states loudly “I’m fat” not with tears, but with sort of a grin. She knows she’s beautiful and has an inner confidence, that I certainly did not have as a 13-year-old, but this statement concerns me and I laid awake that night wondering how to address it.

 

I am a fit mom who instilled health and wellness in my daily mothering. Yet the truth is this: My daughter looks nothing like me; her body is long and curvy, completely unlike my shorter, more muscular physique. Nor does she share “the eye of the tiger” that I was born with. I love to exercise and have used it as a stress release since I was a young girl, walking on my hands and cartwheeling through my younger days. I loved to move and still do. She wants no part of that!

 

So even though she doesn’t share my “tiger spirit,” there are things I still want her to know about why working out matters and why being fit and connected to your body is key to having an amazing life, not just to look good, but to feel strong and confident in who you are and how you show up in the world.

 

1. Being strong is the bomb. What I learned is when I connect to my strength, my fear diminishes and my confidence rises. You will feel more joy and less inclined to take crap from people that want to push you around. 

 

2. Self-efficacy is key. Your need for approval from peers becomes less important. You will be more inclined to celebrate your uniqueness, your beauty, brilliance and strength. This is what you want to reflect, not your fear and phobias. You will attract people who like you for who you are, not for what you have.

 

3. Exercise boosts confidence. Even when we don’t feel like it, the benefits of exercise are huge! Being fit makes me smile more, I feel more alive, and want to connect more with others. The same will be true with you. Trust me! Being fit and vital is contagious.

 

4. Nature rules! Ever feel totally bummed out and trapped in the house? Cranky from too much screen time. Nature rules! The crunch of the leaves, the smell of grass, and the crisp, cool air all brings us to deeper connection to who we are. Moving our bodies outside connects to our source, our inner knowing of what is right, true and unique for each of us.

 

5. You really discover who you are by meeting and pushing through challenges. “I can’t do it.” Lifting weights brings me to places that are ugly and scary. Moving through resistance teaches me that I am more than my thoughts and my fears. I can do more than I thought. Often, things that I thought weren’t even possible.  Fitness pushes you to places where faith takes over and fear fades. This is what I call a peak experience. This is REAL.

 

6. Your choices become clearer. Exercise clears your head and silences unnecessary noise. The doubters and haters in your life shrink to zero. You’ve got no time for that! Making a decision about something? Oftentimes we can work out a strategy through the systematic approach of working out. Clarity is powerful.

 

7. Just sayin’ no to what doesn’t feel right. Being strong allows you to have the strength and confidence to say “no.” This is a powerful word. Embrace it. Get comfortable using it against unwanted sexual advances, peer pressure or anything else that puts you out of integrity for who you are. You rock. “No” is good. It lets people know you are not to be messed with.

 

8. People who care about their bodies and being fit are way cooler. Fit people are, in general, more positive. And who doesn’t want to be around positive people? If you are negative, you attract negativity. It’s hard to be crabby when you are experiencing a boost of endorphins post workout. And the positive effect lasts hours. Share in the good vibes!

 

9. You dream bigger. Pushing through limitations helps you see yourself as the amazing person you came here to be. We are all here to be unique and serve the world in our own way. Dreaming bigger means you can help more people. Don’t waste time trying to be smaller than who you know you are!

 

10. You feel beautiful. Strong is beautiful. Confidence is beautiful. Smart is beautiful. Courageous is beautiful. “Beauty is only skin deep” is actually a lie. Beauty is not just your hair, your hips, your eyes. Beauty is also your inner qualities and how you make others feel. By celebrating yourself, you bring more beauty to the world.

 

This is what I want my daughter to know:  that by caring for her body, she is showing the world that she matters, that she has a voice, and with her strength and beauty from within, she has the power to change the world.

 

And so do you!

About the author: 

Kate McKay is a speaker, coach, fitness guru, entrepreneur and author whose passion is to spread her message of living a life of abundance. She founded Gold Siena/Gold Party New England and Kate McKay, headquartered in Newburyport, Mass. Kate has a single goal in life: to inspire others to live the most abundant life possible by helping them tap into their inner strengths. Ms. McKay offers her wisdom through her "Living Sexy" series of books as well as personal speaking engagements.