10 Reasons to Hire a Business Coach Now

**As originally posted on www.inc.com by Young Entrepreneur Council**

No matter what stage your business is at, a business coach can make you work harder and progress faster than you would on your own. From providing a much-needed ego check to helping expand your network, a business coach can give you both the tools and perspective you need to go from point A to point B.

Based on their own experiences, 10 successful founders from Young Entrepreneur Council (YEC) discuss some the benefits to hiring a business coach. 

1. You'll go outside your comfort zone.

Especially for introverted entrepreneurs who run online businesses, like myself, it's easy to become enmeshed in my own business world. My business coach has helped give me the push to step outside my comfort zone, meet new people and try new things in my business. Even extroverted entrepreneurs can get caught in ruts -- a business coach will push you out of them.--Dave Nevogt, Hubstaff.com

2. You'll get personal attention from someone who knows your business inside and out.

I've had a business coach for more than five years. The one aspect that a coach brings, that group sessions or mentors do not, is a keen awareness of your entire business and way of being. There are few times when someone is going to focus just on you for an entire hour, probing you about something that happened last quarter, an employee issue you had three weeks ago or your style of leadership.--Beck Bamberger, BAM Communications

3. You'll finally have someone who isn't afraid of correcting you.

Every great team has a coach. Think of the best NFL and NBA teams, which all have coaches. A coach is someone who's not afraid to confront you and tell you when you're doing something incorrectly. They have a proven method to success and can help you take your business to the next level.--Marc Devisse, Tri-Town Construction

4. You'll learn how to make your ideas a reality.

Business coaches have one goal: to make your ideas into a reality. Although you may have many brilliant ideas for your company, sometimes it's hard to know where to start and what to tackle first. Business coaches will evaluate your plans, assess if they are realistic or will be successful and set out a way that you can implement them correctly.--Miles Jennings, Recruiter.com

5. You'll gain a needed confidante.

When you run your own company, it's often hard to talk to people about your true concerns. Life partners, employees, peers and friends don't get it for different reasons. At the same time, there's a lot of noise in your head and around you. A business coach can provide that confidential, quiet space to focus, be a soundboard and problem-solve the priorities and challenges you face.--Charlie Gilkey, Productive Flourishing

6. Your networking opportunities will skyrocket.

The more you are involved with successful people, the more you will succeed. Aside from the other great points in this article, networking opportunities skyrocket when your business coach is out being an advocate for you. They know you and how you react in many situations. You will be top of mind in many cases when your coach is out meeting new people.--Drew Gurley, Redbird Advisors

7. You'll make more money.

Simply, a good business coach will help you make more money. Every good coach, whether it be sports or business, has a process. Phil Jackson ran the Triangle Offense and won six NBA championships with Michael Jordan. Vince Lombardi won five Super Bowls creating what he called an Execution Strategy, combining spiritual and military discipline. Find your coach. Find your strategy. Then cash in.--Derek Hunter, William Roam

8. You'll develop self-confidence.

The biggest "pro" is confidence. I attribute this to experience. My coach is 67 years old. He's lived quite a life, from owning and selling businesses to failed partnerships, lawsuits and billion-dollar acquisitions. You name it, he's done it. I leverage his failures and successes. He's helping me achieve my goals, but also making sure I'm prepared for any situation that comes my way.--Jon Tsourakis, Revital Agency, LLC

9. You'll be held accountable for what really matters.

A business coach can do wonders for busy entrepreneurs. As you run a growing organization, everything gets complex; you get busy and sometimes push off things you know are important. This is where a business coach comes in. You can discuss the vital things you need to accomplish in order to achieve your goals, and your coach will hold you accountable. That alone will make you more effective.--Jeff Cayley,Worldwide Cyclery

10. You'll hear unbiased opinions.

One great thing about having a business coach is that he or she knows more about you than your business and will likely have no biases without your industry or company. This provides a great forum for unbiased advice based on your concerns as a leader. Good business coaches can lead founders to "aha!" moments and uncover solutions that people close to the business may overlook.--Brittany Hodak, ZinePak

The opinions expressed here by Inc.com columnists are their own, not those of Inc.com.

Self Talk 101: Why You Need To Believe In Yourself

**As originally posted onhttp://inspiyr.com/the-incredible-power-of-self-talk/**

What we say to others is not nearly as important as what we say to ourselves.All day, every day, our minds are flooded with thoughts that direct us to leading the lives that we live.

What we tell ourselves determines our successes…and our failures.If you want to make an improvement in any aspect of your life, it’s essential to always start by changing your self talk if you want to succeed.

How? Well, when there’s a will, there’s a way.

What is it?

We talk to ourselves at the rate of 150-300 words a minute, or nearly 50,000 thoughts per day.

While you are reading these words, you are having a simultaneous dialog about what you think of this writing while also being distracted by the most important items on today’s “to do” list, as well as other pressing matters.

This internal thinking, or self talk, occurs through the conscious area of our mind.

What most people are unaware of is our self talk becomes instructions to oursubconscious, whose duty is to carry out the “orders” given to it by theconscious area of our mind. The subconscious is our own personal servo-mechanism that works on our behalf 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.

How does it work?

Imagine an ocean liner crossing the sea, with the captain of the ship barking our commands to the crew. The crew, however, is located in the hold of the ship, below the water line, unable to see where the ship is going.

The captain is the conscious area to the mind. In this example, the crew is like the subconscious.

So when the captain commands to the crew, “Full speed ahead, 15 degrees to the North,” the crew simple responds, “aye aye, sir” and carries out its orders precisely.

The crew does not care if it runs the ship into the rocks, collides with another vessel, or gets the ship safely to its destination. It is totally non-judgmental and does not question “the boss.”

This is a powerful metaphor of the relationship between the conscious and subconscious areas of the mind. These are not two separate minds, but rather, two spheres of the same mind.

So, what we say to ourselves or how we may describe ourselves to others occurs through the conscious level of thought. If we are repeatedly saying…

“I can’t do this.”

“My marriage is falling apart.”

“I never seem to have enough money.”

…then these become “instructions” to the subconscious, whose duty it is to work tirelessly to ensure these “instructions” are brought into reality.

It doesn’t question whether these are “good” or “bad” instructions (for us). It simply carries out what we have instructed it to do.

Why does it matter?

It’s important to note that we don’t get what we want in life. We get what we expect, unless what we want and what we expect are the same.

It is also important for us to realize that our self concept is created by our own self talk, and it is our self concept that determines our level of performance in any area of our lives.

We have hundreds of individual self concepts. For example may have a high self concept of ourself in social situations, e.g. “I am an excellent conversationalist.” Conversely, we may have a low self concept professionally, e.g. “I am never going to get promoted. There are so many people who perform better than me.”

Our subconscious then works hard to ensure our performance is consistent with our self concept, whatever that may be–for better or for worse.

Change your life…by changing your thoughts.

We did not come into the world with a belief, an attitude, or an opinion about anything. We were a completely empty vessel.

We were not born a Democrat or a Republican. We were not born a Catholic or a Protestant. We weren’t born with a set of beliefs about how the world should be.

As children, through the data input we received from our well-intended parents, siblings, and other role models, we began to form some concepts about who we were, areas that we seemed to excel in, and areas where we simply came up short.

By the time we reached six years of age, many of our early self concept) had been formed. And they weren’t formed by the words we heard from others, but how we interpreted those words with our own self talk.

It is our self talk that creates our self concept, and there is a one-to-one relationship between our self concept(s) and our level of performance.

If we want to improve our level of performance or effectiveness in any area of our life, we need to improve our self concept. We improve our self concept by deliberately creating new language that describes our new desired result. Through repetition our revised self talk provides new instructions to our subconscious, which immediately goes to work to fulfill these “new orders”.

The subconscious is totally non-judgmental. It does not argue what is right or wrong, or what may be best for us. It simply works to effect what it has been told by the conscious area of the mind.

If you want to change your life, start by changing the way you talk to yourself. I bet you’ll be amazed by the results.

In his new book, Beyond the Power of Your Subconscious Mind, author C. James Jensen provides the reader in great detail the relationship between these two areas of the mind along with step by step procedures to make the positive changes in our lives that we desire.

5 TIPS TO SUPPORT YOUR WHOLE WOMAN BRILLIANCE AND SHIFT YOUR LIFE

I am still on a high from all of the powerful information we shared with you on our I Didn't Start to Stop" Mid-year check-in call. There were so many juicy nuggets, resources and "clapper worthy wins" on that one call that I had to go back and listen to the recording to make sure I got some of my own notes!!! I am always excited to share with you whatever I can to make sure you stay in motion and in your greatness. We are truly in this together and I am grateful fro the opportunity to serve you. 

I know there was a ton of information shared on that call, but I want to share with you a list of resources that I discussed to support you in getting organized, getting clear and getting a handle on all of the projects you have coming your way. Here are the top 5 areas that will support your whole woman brilliance and shift your life:  

1) FINANCIAL PLANNING: If you're going to thrive in life or in business, you must keep your finances in order. Here are some great financial planning tools for business and personal finances- RESOURCE: https://www.mint.com/ is a great resource for personal finances and quickbooks.intuit.com/ for business orhttps://www.waveapps.com/ (free)

2) TIME MANAGEMENT: I believe you can't truly manage time, but you can manage what needs to be done with the time you have so focus on how you can "control your controlables.” Stick to a strict time schedule and watch how much more you can get done when you know you're up against the buzzer. RESOURCE:https://www.rescuetime.com/ or use the timer on your phone. Make sure you're realistic with your scheduling so you don't add undue stress. Block your day in 20-60 minute increments as needed for the appropriate task.

3) HEALTH/FITNESS: If your body and mind are not well, you cannot show up in your greatness! Make sure you always take time out to take care of your mind, body and spirit daily. Make sure eating well, taking breaks and exercise are mandatory daily routines. RESOURCE: https://www.jefit.com or www.myfitnesspal.com/

4) PLANNING: To get numbers 1-3 done, you must plan out your day. Get a planner or journal to track your life and support your own accountability, progress wins and opportunities. RESOURCE: Get your “Until Done” journal from HWHN at www.untildonejournal.com and keep an idea journal for all of those racing thoughts and ideas that come while you're at the redlight or on the toilet!

5) DELEGATE TO YOUR TEAM- Keeping a strong team in your corner can seriously be your lifeline. Make sure you utilize them to the best of their abilities and always show them appreciation! "But, Mothyna, I'm just getting started and I don't have a team yet." If you don’t have a team, create one. Automation is your team. Check out these great resources that can make your life a little easier until the right humans come along. 
RESOURCE: virtual assistants
www.hootsuite.com/www.buffer.com www.meetedgar.com (social media)
www.constantcontact.com www.mailchimp.com www.ontraport.com (email marketing)
www.calendly.com www.timetrade.comwww.setmore.com (scheduling)

Alright, so it's time to take action! Start downloading and apply what you need where you need it. Don't overwhelm yourself. Start with a plan and get clear about exactly where you need support the most and start there. Do you have other resources that work for you? Please share them in our online community HWHN Unlimited You. See you at the top!

Sister Mothyna James-Brightful is a self proclaimed “Self Love Revolutionary”. She has spent the last decade empowering women and girls to live authentic lives. Sister Mothyna is the Visionary Director and Co-founder of Heal a Woman to Heal a Nation. Sister Mothyna is co-author of Because I am a Queen...100 Affirmations for Daily Living. Stay connected www.hwhn.org: Twitter @mothyna

I Am a Magnetic Storyteller Speaker

*As originally posted on www.msdaliah.com/**

We often spend money on things instead of investing in ourselves.  Our biggest investment is ourselves.  We get out, what we put in.

My weekend was so amazing!  I had the privilege of attending the Storyteller Speaker 2016 hosted by the Heal a Woman Heal a Nation Inc. in Baltimore Maryland.  I am serious about my elevation and my transformation for success.  I decided to invest in me.    My first interaction with Heal a Woman Heal a Nation Inc. was in April of 2016 at Unlimited You Weekend.  It was something that you had to be there for.  I will tell you that I was transformed beyond belief.  I was freed of things that I needed to let go of so I could heal and be clear about my purpose.  See, I was a newly broken woman searching to find healing and I felt that this would help in the process. It was more than I expected, it exceeded and excelled my process of healing.  I found my why, and I became laser beamed focused and actionable about my goals.

Heal a Woman Heal a Nation is founded by 3 amazing Queens, Monokia Nance, Mothyna James- Brightful, and Dr. Maria James.  They are amazing at what they do.  The relationship is real, they only give you what they have practiced with each other and has proven to work.  These Queens have been running Heal a Woman Heal a Nation Inc. for 13 years.  I am so glad they did because I have been transformed by the network and the genuine interaction.  They want to see you win.

Now.........let me tell you about my experience this weekend.  As I states earlier I attended the first Storyteller Speaker 2016 event.  There was so much information given in 4+ hours so I will write about my experience and takeaways from the day. At this event we were put into groups of 7  persons. Each person had to tell a 3 minute story and get get feedback from each member of the group.  I sat anxiously awaiting  my turn.  Of course, I did not know what story I was going to tell because, well, I have so many.  I decided to tell the story of a time I was betrayed and brokenhearted by my partner of 2 years.  He got married on me and it broke me into pieces.  My opening line was " I didn't know I had a story to tell until I got here."  I took the group through the journey and as I spoke they were captivated and wanted to know every detail, but in 3 minutes you had to learn to tell the story and keep them engaged.  I had 49 seconds to spare.  I told my story and it was in that moment that I found out my niche market (Broken women on a journey to being a whole woman). These are the women I am here to serve.  I have been there before and I went on a journey of healing to become a whole woman.  I stated in my story "We often look for value and meaning in our relationships, but what about the relationship with self? What happens when we are broken because someone else did not value us more than we should value ourselves?"  I knew in that moment that I had something that people needed to hear about.  This was a story I had never spoke about publicly, especially with a group of strangers.  We never know how much baggage others carry around and how broken an individual appears to be inside.  

So let me tell you all about my takeaways:

1. Clarity about my niche market (the women I serve).  My tribe are broken women, seeking a journey of healing and wholeness.  I have been there, transformed from brokenness and elevated.  I want to see the same for my tribe.
2. There is so much power in your words.  I want to use the power of healing in my story to heal other broken women of color as the words have healed me.
3. I also learned that I am a magnetic transformational speaker.  I have the power to speak to persons and have them take action and make changes to transform.  I've been doing this individually for years and now I want to sharpen my craft and transform lives on a large scale.

With clarity being one of my takeaways, let me reintroduce myself: My name is Daliah Ferguson, the founder of the Girlfriends Power Academy. I specialize in empowering, elevating, and transforming the lives of broken women to a journey of being a whole woman.
My first project and testimony was me. Stay plugged into the Girlfriends Power Academy

 It is more than important to be the best you can be.  There is power in your voice and it is a voice of change and hope. I am attending the Storyteller Speaker Intensive in September 2016.  There is nowhere to go from here but up.  You have to sharpen your craft.  Investment in yourself, your business, and personally developing your gift. It is the best investment you could ever make.  


I will see you all on stage where I will transform the lives broken women to being healed and whole. 

Ms. Daliah is a Jamaican born native now residing in Connecticut.  Ms. Daliah is  a proud mother, lover of God, lifestyle blogger, author,entrepreneur, and an  independent health and fitness coach Birth and Labor Doula who believes in holistic living made fun and easy.  Ms. Daliah believes in being connected with who you are and pursuing your passions.  Follow the journey of being healthy, having fun, eating good food, and embracing life.
​

7 Benefits of a Daily Affirmation Plan

Affirmations are not only for manifesting a specific goal. They’re meant to encourage a life filled with positivity and gratitude. While they do help you achieve certain goals, there’s more to them than that. Let’s say you manifested the job you wanted. Now what? Do you drop the “I am the boss” affirmation? Yes, you do drop that one but you should replace it with a new affirmation. Something like, “I like my job,” or “I enjoy learning new things every day.” The affirmation plan is a never-ending life practice.

The Benefits of Daily Affirmation

1. You become aware of your daily thoughts and words, reducing the risk of letting negativity seep in.
2. You notice more synchronicities in your life, which serves to encourage and motivate you to keep up the practice.  
3. Daily affirmations not only help keep you surrounded by the things you want in your life but they help bring about more blessings and gifts.
4. A daily practice helps to keep the small things in perspective. In this high-speed world you can easily lose sight of how large the small things really are. When healthy you may forget to think of how much you appreciate it. A simple morning affirmation sentence of “I am healthy” can go a long way.
5. A recent study shows that optimistic people have healthier hearts, and affirmations help you to stay positive.
6. As you continue this practice, others take note and you begin to help those around you without even trying. This, in turn, helps keep you focused.
7. Daily affirmations keep you in a constant state of gratitude.
   

Affirmations of Gratitude

Gratitude helps you stay positive and should be practiced daily. The problem is that gratitude for certain things can morph over time. For example, you got that great job after scoping it out for months, interviewing five times, and purchasing a new wardrobe to fit the title. At first you were ecstatic, jumping up and down and calling everyone you know to tell them what you manifested. Fast forward two years. The hours are long, you haven’t received a raise, and your boss blames you for things that have nothing to do with you. By now your level of gratitude for this job is different. Perhaps you’re even trying to manifest a new job and have dropped your affirmations of gratitude for this one.

Try this approach instead: Continue with your affirmations of being very thankful for your position and what it provides. The negatives are still there but using the affirmations to help you focus on the positive aspects will give more power to the other set of affirmations in your practice. Affirmations for what you are or who you are aspiring to become are important but should not hold more weight than the affirmations of gratitude for what you’ve already manifested.

Learn more about the power of appreciation with What You Appreciate Appreciates or try out this hour-by-hour positivity plan.

Melissa Carver specializes in Metaphysics, guiding her clients through the art of manifestation with one-on-one webinars and in-person sessions. Melissa is also a graduate of the Chopra Center University, completing her certification in the Perfect Health: Ayurvedic Lifestyle program.

5 Sales Prospecting Techniques You've Probably Never Tried

"As originally posted on http://www.rainsalestraining.com/blog"

What is the #1 challenge or issue you face when it comes to growing sales for your business?

When I recently reached out to my network and asked that same question, 75% mentioned sales prospecting as their #1 challenge.

The problem isn’t that people don’t know what to do; it’s that what they’ve always done no longer works. Want proof? Think about the last time you met an actual decision maker at a networking event, and that conversation led to a sale. How about from a cold call? Trade show? Advertisement?

The simple truth is this: if you do what everybody else is doing, you’ll get the same results everybody else is getting.

Which, in a world where prospects are increasingly turning off their phone and turning on their spam filters, isn’t much.

So, if you want to stand out (and get more meetings), here are five sales prospecting techniques you’ve probably never tried (but should).

5 Sales Prospecting Techniques

1. Become a Video Rock Star
Everything I do these days involves video (in some form or another). And I’m not talking about those fancy marketing videos where the CEO comes on to talk about the new service you just launched. Or those happy, smiling customers on your homepage telling everyone how awesome you are.

I am talking about using video for sales. Specifically, for sales prospecting.

Email open rates have plummeted in recent years. And they continue to go down (and down). According to MailVU.com, the average email click-through rate is now around 5%, which means that if you are sending a whitepaper, blog post, or brochure to 100 prospects, a grand total of 5 will open it. To put it another way, if you want to get 50 prospects to actually read your stuff, you’d need to send 1000 emails, and risk wasting 995 people’s time and being marked as spam.

Now let’s say you were to include a video in that email. Nothing fancy, just you talking to the camera and saying a few words. Educating a little bit. Introducing yourself. Pointing to a helpful resource.

You’ll be surprised how even a simple video will boost opens, the number of people who are engaged with your content, and the number of leads that begin to move down your sales funnel. Time to break out the flip cam.

2. Leverage Your Losses
Think about the last 5-10 deals you didn’t get. Now think about why you didn’t get them. Do you know why? If not, go find out and three things can happen:

1. You’ll improve. If you lost to a competitor, use this opportunity to find out what your competitor did better – or differently – to win the deal. Rainmakers seek to improve continuously through feedback. Arm yourself with all the knowledge you can to ensure your next deal has a different result.
2. You’ll resurrect the deal. Maybe the timing was off, or maybe there was one buyer who nixed the deal and five others who were ready to go. Find out what happened and you may be able to turn things around.
3. You’ll generate referrals. Perhaps the corporate powers that be decided it wasn’t such a good idea anyway. In most cases, your contact at the company really wanted to move forward – and to do so with you. This puts you in a great position to ask a simple, yet powerful, question like, “Who else in your network can you think of that could use some help with…?”

3. Gang Up with (Non Competing) Competitors
This is one of my favorite sales prospecting techniques. Whoever you’re selling to has dozens of other services and products being sold to them. Let’s say you are a tax advisor selling to CFOs. Accountants sell to CFOs. Legal firms sell to CFOs. Auditors sell to CFOs. Even I – sometimes – sell to CFOs. You get the picture.

By establishing alliances with others selling different products to the same people, you get some major benefits. First, you both get access to each other’s “circle of trust” – people who know you and love your work. Second, you might find ways to partner on the same sales. And finally, you just instantly doubled (or tripled, or quadrupled) the number of people you can network with and sell to.

4. Organize Your Very Own CEO Luncheon
People love to be around people who are like them (or who they aspire to be like). Invite a CEO to a seminar, and you’re likely to get a 0.000-something response rate.

Invite that same CEO to an invitation-only CEO luncheon where they get to rub shoulders with other fellow CxOs, and you’ll get a friendly phone call from their executive assistant.

To make this work, you need to tackle the 3 Ps:

1. Presence: It has to be a small group of very, very senior players
2. Packaging: It has to feel, sound, and be exclusive
3. Positioning: It has to combine lunch/dinner with a “big question”

When it comes to sales prospecting, this technique may seem a little slow going. You’re not blasting CEOs with a sales message. You’re allowing them to network while getting to know you. Not only will your attendees be brushing shoulders with the big dogs, but you will be too. You’ll get to hear about the problems CEOs are having from a room full of them. The key here is building relationships and being available when those contacts need your product or service – and they will eventually.

5. Perform a Walk-in
Before you think I just lost my marbles, let me say what I don’t mean by that. I don’t mean canvassing, the (formerly popular with traveling salesmen) technique of going into an office district, knocking on doors, and requesting to see the CEO. These days, you’re likely to get looked at funny (or possibly escorted out by security) if you try to pull that one off.

The next time you meet a friend, business contact, or former colleague for lunch (you do lunch, right?), make a simple request: “Hey. Before we go out, would you mind introducing me to your [boss/CEO/VP of Marketing]? I’ve been wanting to get in touch for a while, and considering I’ll be over there anyway…?”

Do it up front (don’t ever surprise them while you’re picking them up), get their permission, be sincere about your intentions, and don’t ever, ever sell while you’re in the room. Your objective is to get introduced, get contact details, and establish a next step. That’s it.

So there you go, 5 sales prospecting techniques you’ve probably never tried. They’ve worked for me. They’ve worked for others. They just might work for you.

10 Tips for Keeping Your Sanity While Raising Children

**As originally posted on www.doublethebatch.com**

Oh how I’m going to love writing this post. I, like so many moms have been through (oh wait, STILL going through) those crazy times where I feel like my world is turned upside down, or I’m falling into a black hole, or the day is never gonna end.  Can you relate to any of the following scenerios?:

-You feel like your nerves are fried and you can’t take anymore. You hide in the bathroom (possibly with chocolate) in the hopes of getting a chance to breathe (and inhale chocolate). Only instead what you get are the sounds of  small fists pounding and little fingers crawling under the door like a Steven King horror movie.

-You FINALLY get all the mistermeaners asleep only to find its now your own bedtime. Too tired to clean up the mess lying everywhere, you crawl into bed and fall asleep, only to be awakened by the same critters that caused the nightmare the night before! Its like Ground Hog Day over and over and over again!

-Your Spouse kisses you goodbye before going to work and you whisper in their ear, “TAKE ME WITH YOU!” They smile and walk out the door while you secretly wonder if you have time to slip into the trunk and sneak with them to the land of BIG human beaings who are toilet trained, use indoor voices, wipe their own mouths, and give you real money for your hard work.

’m tellin’ you, I’ve been there, done that and still have days like that. Everything I’m about to share is from what I learned from my own hair pulling, I feel like I’m drowning in kids, give me chocolate or die experiences. Hopefully these tips will help you as much as they have (and still are) helping me…

1. Study the stages. Sometimes children drive us nuts with behavior that we think is not normal. This behavior may just be part of a normal development stage. I can’t tell you how many times I was pulling my hair out wondering what was wrong with my child only to find after reading about their particular age, that how they were acting was completely normal.  When I got married, my mom gave me an invaluable reference book that I have loved.  There are so many good books and websites out there. This book was wonderful because it went into the most detail for each age which was is wonderful for those first 5 years when they are changing and developing so fast. For example, it’s normal for 2-4 yr olds to throw fits and yell and scream. They want so badly to be independent but haven’t learned quite how yet. It’s normal for 8-9 year olds to be crazy and silly all the time. Instead of reacting, educate yourself so you can know how to help your child in each stage they go through.

2. Take care of your health. You can’t draw water from an empty well. If you’re tired and unhealthy it’s gonna be hard to take car of (and have patience with!) another human being. I’m such a happier mom when I take time for me first. That may look different for each person. For me, it means getting enough exercise, eating healthy, getting 7-8 hrs of sleep, and making sure I have quiet time to myself each day.

3.  Always be a step ahead. My mom always woke up several hours before her children. That was her time to prepare for the day. By the time we woke up, she was ready for the onslaught! (There are 8 children in my family!)
Being prepared for what you think might happen cuts a little bit of chaos out of your day. For example, if you know your 18 month old is going to dump everything in sight, put things up higher. My baby LOVES to get in the toilet so I am always putting lids down and closing bathroom doors….ALL DAY. If you know your kids will have a melt down if plans for the day change, don’t inform them of the plan till you are IN.THE.CAR. When my kids go to school, their teachers are ready for them and have ‘hopefully’ made lesson plans ahead of time. I like to take time on Sunday evenings and go over the upcoming week and make a ‘game plan’ for my week. Obviously, I can never be 100% prepared for the onslaught of things that will happen with my kids every week. No mother plans to be on her hands and knees cleaning food of the floor that has been flung by the baby, or cleaning poop off the carpet (oh how I love potty training), or cleaning permanent marker off the walls, etc. but with all the unexpected that happens, planning ahead for the ‘expected’ makes motherhood just a little bit easier.

4. Practice more than you punish. I learned this lesson in my pre-mother years when I was a pre-school teacher. As human beings, we just learn better through experience. We can listen all we want, but the learning actually comes through experience. For example, I can tell my four year old till I’m blue in the face to pick up her clothes. Until she actually PRACTICES doing it it over and over and over again, she will probably continue to leave her clothes on the floor. When teaching my children something new, I have found the following 3 P’s to work wonderfully:
Prepare, Practice, Praise. Prepare them first by teaching them how to do a new skill or how to behave in a different environment (store, church, restaurant). Have them practice it themselves. Praise them for their effort. Repeat. If they do it wrong, talk about how they can do better and repeat the process over. When I had 3 children under the age of 5 I used to wonder why in the world I bothered to take them to church every week. It was just torture for everyone. They couldn’t sit still, they were loud, and My husband and I never hear a word of the talks given that hour. Why bother, right? But we continued, week, after week, and we kept teaching them, we gave them each separate bags with items for their different ages to help keep them quiet, and VERY SLOWLY they finally learned how to sit still in church. The same goes for us adults. One of my favorite quotes explains this perfectly:
“That which we persist in doing becomes easier to do, not that the nature of the thing has changed, but our power to do so is increased.”― Heber J. Grant

5. Learn to laugh. If you can’t beat em, join em! Children love nothing more than an adult who will dance, sing, laugh, and play with them. You are the eye of their storm. If you are happy, most likely they will be too! After playing with my 4 yr old one day, she said to me, “Mom, I like you.” My heart was full.

6. Remember life is short. Children grow oh so quickly. I love this quotes from one of my favorite talks entitled, Joy in the Journey by Thomas S. Monson:

“If you are still in the process of raising children, be aware that the tiny fingerprints that show up on almost every newly cleaned surface, the toys scattered about the house, the piles and piles of laundry to be tackled will disappear all too soon and that you will–to your surprise–miss them profoundly.”

7. Tidy up before retiring. I am a happier mom in the morning when I wake up to a clean house. No one wants to wake up to the leftovers of yesterday. It’s so tempting to go to bed and say you’ll tackle it in the morning, but trust me, when those munchkins batteries are fully charged and you try and start your day with an overflowing sink of dishes and clutter all over the floor, it can get depressing and frustrating fast. Clean slate, happy day is what I always say. Sometimes I have to set a timer for 30 min to motivate me. Then I just make a mad dash and do as much as I can. I tell myself when the timer goes off, the rest of the night is mine!

8. Take lots of pictures and or write about your crazy days. Stresses of today are usually comedy relief in the near future. I see pictures of my kids even a year ago and laugh at all we went through together. When they are older and have kids of their own, it will help to see their parents went through the same thing with them. When you walk into a room and see a disaster has happened while you were away, take a breath, and a picture while you’re at it. You’ll be grateful later. Here’s some of the “choice” moments at my home.

9. Get out of the house with or without your children. A change of scenery can do wonders when life gets hectic. Strap the kids in the car, and of for a drive, to the park, to grandma’s house, whatever it takes. Then, if you still need a breather, ask your husband or another relative or friend to watch your kids while you go out for some alone time. It works wonders every time!

10. Live in the now. It’s so easy to fall into the escape mechanisms. Parenting is hard and it’s so much easier to pull out an ipad or phone to escape dealing with a screaming child, or sit in the bathroom with a container of ice cream, or just let netflix babysit our kids. I have been there done that SO many times! When I realized my first child could sit through a movie and I could actually get something done it was like Heaven! I’m not saying these things aren’t good in there own ways and in moderation, but sometimes I have found myself wanting to ‘fast forward’ through difficult times instead of facing them head on. When I ‘disappear’ emotionally or mentally from my life and my kids, the problems don’t disappear, they only escalate. I am constantly reminding myself to live in the now. The ancient Roman philosopher Horace admonished,
“Whatever hour God has blessed you with, take it with grateful hand, nor postpone your joys from year to year, so that in whatever place you have been, you may say that you have lived happily.” (Finding Joy in the Journey)
Give your electronics a time out and your kids some quality time.

Oops, I know I said 10 tips but I absolutely must add 1 more. It is the most important in my life.

Pray for help!  I believe in my heart that God gave me my children to take care of. They are his children too, though, and I believe he helps me take care of them. Sometimes, we just need to plead for help. We don’t receive an owners manual at their birth, but I consider Him my owners manual. He knows them better than I do so why wouldn’t I turn to him? And if you feel that you can’t go another step, that you aren’t cracked up to be the parent you always hoped you would be, watch the following clip. It always gives me hope to keep moving on. Keep your head up and don’t give up! Your kids are counting on you!

Hi, I’m Katie. I love the smell of a newborn baby but not the sleep deprivation, to spend time with my kids and husband, and girl’s night out with my friends and sisters. I have the worlds worst sweet tooth, and have about 51 places where I rotate hiding my stash from my kids. I am the oldest of 8 children yet barely surviving having 4 of my own. Motherhood is teaching me my greatest lessons in life and the journey gets a little brighter the higher I climb. I have a lot of fun blogging with my sisters here at Double the Batch! www.doublethebatch.com