Wednesday, November 20, 2013

The Art of Self-love: 3 Tips for a Self-love Revolution

There are few women I know who don’t go out of their way on a regular basis to show others love by sharing a kind word, lending a sympathetic ear, kissing a booboo, or lowering their rate to allow someone in need to purchase their business services. Wouldn’t you freely give your time, money, or sympathy to a friend in need? It’s the right thing to do, isn’t it? We can probably all agree that women need very little prompting when it comes to helping, caring for, and offering love to others. Why then, is it so difficult to offer love to ourselves?

In a word, GUILT.

I’m not exactly sure why so many women feel guilty about meeting their own needs; but, if you feel guilty when you contemplate scheduling a massage, buying a new handbag, or wrapping yourself in luxury at the end of the day, you are not alone.

Recently, a teary-eyed woman shared a story with me about scheduling a massage but not being able to relax and enjoy it because she felt guilty. Guilty for spending money on the massage, guilty for being away from her family, guilty for not spending the time working on growing her business. You see, she wanted to move her family so they could enjoy a more outdoorsy lifestyle, but she didn’t feel she could do that until she had earned a certain amount of money. Until the money came in, she felt stuck.

I wonder what the world would be like if every hard working woman like her were able to enjoy a nice massage to work the kinks out after a long week (or a similar personal indulgence), without guilt? What if instead of beating herself up for an hour she had been able to relax and return to her responsibilities refreshed, renewed, and ready to dive back into work?

When this woman released her guilt and decided to indulge herself with a few things her spirit was hankering after, an opportunity to move to the place of her dreams opened up and she is now happier than ever. No extra money required.

Another woman shared the story of her handbag and wallet with me. The wallet had been given to her by a family member and she felt obligated to use it. Even though she had never really liked the wallet, and the zipper on the coin purse had been broken for years, she still carried it around because she felt that getting rid of it would make her appear ungrateful.

She had convinced herself that even with the broken coin purse, the wallet “still worked well enough”. Never mind that she could never find change when she needed it because it was all over the bottom of her purse; a bag that didn’t suit her needs, was ugly to look at, and made her feel disorganized and overwhelmed each time she needed to retrieve something from it.

What if this wallet and handbag are simply small examples of all the ways this woman has allowed guilt to sabotage her success in business? What if I told you they represent how she deprives herself and puts up with broken things in all areas of her life because she is afraid to appear ungrateful? What if I told you that changing her wallet changed everything? It did. And she was very very grateful.

So, what's your story? If you have read this far, I bet some part of you can see yourself in these women's tales of denying themselves things that seem like indulgences, frivolities, or whims. If their stories resonated with you, you’re not practicing self-love and it’s costing you.

It’s costing you in ways and on levels you cannot imagine because you are so used to putting everyone else’s needs and wants first, you may not be able to imagine life any other way. Have you ever heard the expression, “don’t ask a fish to tell you about water?” The same principle applies here. Self-denial is insidious, and when you are in it, you can’t see it.

One of the many ways I can tell for sure if a woman needs a self-love revolution in her life is by looking at her bathrobe. You have an ancient ratty-tatty bathrobe in your closet, don’t you? You’d be embarrassed to have it seen in public, wouldn’t you?  Don’t be afraid to admit it. You are not alone. A hideous old robe like that is hanging up in the closets of women all across the country. If you are putting up with wrapping yourself in a robe that makes you feel old and frumpy each night, I’m willing to bet you are putting up with other things in your life that are not serving you.

What if you indulged yourself by wrapped yourself in a beautiful luxurious robe instead? How might you feel and act differently? I can tell you for sure that how you treat yourself has a ripple effect on every person you touch in life and in business. Give wrapping yourself in a little luxury a try, and watch the miracles that unfold!

Ready to get started? Try my Top 3 Tips for a Self-Love Revolution

1. Treat yourself to a regular massage or other personal indulgence as a way to recharge your batteries so you can keep working towards what matters to you in life. Rest and renewal are highly underrated!

2. Ditch the stuff other people have given you that doesn’t make you feel great. There is a vast difference between carrying around something that you love which reminds you of a special person each time you use it and hanging on to something because of guilt.

3. Treat yourself the way you desire to be treated. Your example of self-love and self-regard will have a ripple effect in your life and inspire others. If we all loved and cared for ourselves the way we deserve, the world would be a much much better place.


Treating yourself well seem too daunting or too expensive? You can send me your personal questions at Danielle@MiracleofIndulgence.com. I have lots of ideas for things you can do to treat yourself well without spending a dime!

About the author:  Danielle Watson is affectionately known as the Inspirer of Indulgence and the Diva of Desire. She is the creator of The Purse Process™ and The Miracle of Indulgence. Danielle is a master at illuminating the hidden reasons why even seemingly successful women entrepreneurs don’t enjoy the fun, freedom, love, and profits they crave. Want a clue to solving this puzzle? It’s in the bag™…your handbag, that is.  Danielle’s secrets to success are following her desires, indulging her whims, and treating herself well without apologies. Danielle blogs at aspiretodesire.blogspot.com. 

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